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Thread: An American Motion Sickness: Cult Wrote About Who?! (A Cult Tribute!)

  1. #1

    An American Motion Sickness: Cult Wrote About Who?! (A Cult Tribute!)

    You know, you’d think by now I’d have figured out the formula for opening a column cleverly enough. I mean, I’m a creative guy right? I’ve been known to create a meme or two in my day, and maybe an interesting column idea. So how the hell can I not come up with something cool to open these bad boys with? I’m blaming the board reset, Orange is the New Black and Grand Theft Auto V for this one. Always remember kids, when you’re in trouble, just pass the fault onto the acts of freedom fighters, Taylor Schilling and Hot Donna making out and a game based on either mizfan’s or T.O.’s life. Although I’d wager it’s based on both their lives (I’m on to you two!).

    But enough about my failures and the hidden quirks of fellow LOPforum members, as there is wrestling to discuss. I was hoping this would be the place where the next Super Friends column would be released, but due to the reset, it’ll have to be held off for another week so we can get everything in order once and for all. Till then, there will hopefully be a Battleground preview column with mizfan next week (providing he can take time out of jumping off trains) and tonight, we’ll head back into the beautiful place known as the Cult Tribute!. And for the grand return, I’ve decided to go far, FAR into the deep caverns of WCW and pulled out a name that only T.O. is likely to know. So without further ado, let me introduce you to the man voted least likely to ever have a wrestling column about him, the one, the only, SICK BOY!

    Cult Tribute: Sick Boy

    What You Already Know

    Truth be told, this may be the shortest What You Already Know segment in Cult Tribute history. Hell, you likely know more about Michael Douglas’ sex life, which is both unbelievable and horrifying at the same time. If there is anything to know about Sick Boy, it’s that he was originally a WCW Power Plant prospect who went on to be a member of Raven’s Flock, an underrated stable that led Raven into stardom, Raven’s theme music into the “all time greatest theme music” conversation and his “What About Raven?!” catchphrase into the Unintentional Comedy Hall of Fame. Seriously, it’s still quoted ironically on this site to this day.

    What You May Not Know

    Now onto the real meat. For starters, Sick Boy actually wasn’t a slouch during his WCW career, receiving a couple title shots during his stay, including two U.S. Championship matches against Diamond Dallas Page and Television Title match against the immortal Rick Steiner. Not huge, but it’s more than what Jesse from Biscuits and Gravy got during his Hall of Fame run. Beyond that, the most interesting thing about Sick Boy in WCW was a pretty sick finishing maneuver he performed called The Cure. Sure, it was a bit tacky to give a guy named Sick Boy a finisher called The Cure, but it was a pretty cool name and it did, all things considered, work for the gimmick. But just how does one execute The Cure?

    Yes kids, The Cure is in fact the twin brother of The Pedigree, which unless you’ve been living under a rock since 1996 is the finishing move of Triple H. Both Triple H and Sick Boy used the moves at the same time during their runs, and I think it’s safe to say who got more mileage out of the move. That said, Sick Boy’s Cure was just as well done as Triple H’s Pedigree, and in fact I’d say they were completely identical until the COO turned the move into a truly devastating finisher in 2000. So really, you could argue that Sick Boy at one point did Triple H’s own move better than Triple H, which would be the funniest WCW related Triple H story if not for the fact that Alex Wright holds a clean pinfall victory over Triple H at Starrcade 94! That’s right; Alex Wright has done what CM Punk has never been able to do! SIGN HIM NOW WWE!

    What may be the most interesting aspect of Sick Boy’s wrestling career however is what occurred after his WCW stint. After being released by WCW in mid 1999, Sick Boy would be signed by WWE and sent to the developmental system, where he would perform until 2002. In the fall of that year, he was scheduled to be called up to work a major angle WWE was promoting at the time, under his real name; Robert Scott Vick. Yup, WWE was going to incorporate Sick Boy into the Katie Vick storyline, where he would play Vick’s (presumably) still living brother. It’s unknown what role he would’ve exactly played in the fiasco, but ultimately the angle went the way of the Dodo and WWE decided to keep Sick Boy in developmental. He’d be released soon after and decided to retire. I suppose I would choose to get out while the getting was good too after nearly being a part of the most Wiseauean angle in WWE history.

    Best Moment

    On some level, it has to be avoiding the Katie Vick angle. At the very least, Sick Boy can tell his grandkids one day that he was able to avoid that angle, which in my opinion still has cast a dark shadow over Kane this very day. As far as his in ring exploits go, I’ll have to go with a match against Lenny Lane on the March 9th, 1998 episode of Monday Nitro. It’s not the best match of Sick Boy’s career (that would be against Diamond Dallas Page earlier in the year), but it’s solid, it features solid evidence of Sick Boy doing the cure, and features both members of the poor man’s Edge and Christian, Lenny and Lodi. Although, is it fair to call Lodi the poor man’s anything? That dude was always able to be entertaining on some level.

    Final Thoughts

    On a legacy scale, I think it’s safe to say Sick Boy is at a zero. He did absolutely nothing huge during his run, and he’ll likely never be remembered by anyone in a thousand years. That said, it’s quite interesting to know that he did share the same finishing move as Triple H, wrestled alongside one of the more underrated wrestling talents in history (Raven) and was almost a part of some of the worst television pro wrestling has ever put forward. And you know what? The guy could go in the ring too; his matches with DDP and Chris Benoit, while short, are entertaining to watch and show Sick Boy had some nice athleticism to him. Almost enough to make you wonder if he could’ve done something with it had WCW booked the Flock better, before you remember that guys like Kidman, Lodi and Saturn went on to have some success despite their association with the group. For Sick Boy, even the most uneventful career turned out to have some pretty cool stories along the way.

    There you have it guys. Hoped you enjoyed this look at a guy you’ve likely never heard of before. Next week, Battleground picks with mizfan, Super Friends 2 and maybe even a Cult Tribute to The Maestro! Till then, don’t play too much GTA V, tell WWE to sign Alex Wright and Christina Von Eerie, vote Duchovny/Douglas for President, and let Spider Man out of the toaster dammit!

    Please change disks to continue…
    Last edited by Cult Icon; 09-27-2013 at 01:37 PM.

  2. #2
    The Brain
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    That match you showed sold me way more on Lenny Lane than it did on Sick Boy! Some very nice moves from the future poor man's Billy & Chuck. That Pedigree actually looked better than most of Hunter's as well, if I may say so.

    Meanwhile, I only very recently learned this guy even existed. It took Prime's awesome history series to unearth this guy! He should be a feature on the History Channel or something. Was he an alien? That could seriously help his credibility, or at least allow me to slip in a cheap X Files reference. Hey, what do you know!

    This is your most obscure edition yet Cult, but given the nature of the series that's absolutely perfect. Really enjoyed it man, now if you'll excuse me I have trains to leap from...

  3. #3
    At first I was like 'this guy?' but come the end of it you'd pretty much sold me, Cult - which I guess was the idea, in a way? I have the vaguest of memories of him but that's it, yet he seems to slot nicely in with the rest of what you've picked to date. And hey, The Cure was pretty nifty - of course, The Pedigree is also pretty nifty, but I liked the way ol' Sicky locked both arms at once instead of doing each individually like HHH. Made it a bit quicker, in my opinion. Nice stuff, Cult.

  4. #4
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Kempsey, NSW, Australia
    I have always liked these Cult but normally they were about people I knew about, this one while I had heard of Sick Boy, I new practically nothing about him. That fact made this column so much better as you managed to give me more knowledge about him while enjoying another one of your great reads. I ask for you to keep them coming like this if you can, the obscurer the wrestler, the better I reckon.

  5. #5
    Goldberg Rules!
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    West Saint Paul, MN
    There could be a whole sub-series on Raven's Flock. A purely odd stable in WCW's glory days.

    We should see if someone could dig up The Stro again. As I told Cult privately, he used to post here long ago.

  6. #6
    Cult, you could write about the day-by-day activity of continental drift, and I think I'd still enjoy it. Your trademark humor is laced throughout here, and I'll be honest, that's what makes this a winner in my book. It was kind of neat to learn a bit about a guy I had very little knowledge of...but yeah, your style of writing is truly unique and one of my favorites around here. Seriously, I don't know why it took me so long to get on the Cult Icon train. My loss!

    I'll admit that when I'm reading your columns, I often find myself strategically scrolling the screen to a certain point so I can focus on the words and not have the gifs going on my screen. Don't get me wrong - I love the gifs. They're amazing. But I'll watch them a few times, and then want to read without their "presence". Do not get rid of them, by any means, but perhaps you could look into some strategic spacing within the column? Just some food for thought.

    Excellent piece here, dude.

  7. #7
    The dude has the shortest Wikipedia entry I've ever seen for a wrestler. How did you manage to make your column twice as long? I remember this guy. That's the best thing I can say about him. I remember him. But I dug the column bro.

  8. #8
    Goldberg Rules!
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    West Saint Paul, MN
    Next up after The Stro: Reese?

  9. #9
    For the followers!

    mizfan, Lenny was quite good in that match (it's more of a showcase for him then Sick Boy, who does more in his matches with DDP and Benoit). I always thought he was talented and they just kind of ruined that by making him and Lodi look like fools, first as the Goldust rip offs then as the corporate team. I honestly don't know what inspired me to write about this guy. I think I was just sitting, wondering what to watch on TV, and then it was like "Why don't you write a column about that guy who no one has ever heard of?". Greatest decision I've made all week! Be careful hopping those trains now.

    Oliver, was going exactly for the reaction you had. I do really like how he does The Cure; it looks more effeciently done and more vicious as a straight drop than Triple H's has at times. I do think over time Triple H's version got better, especially in 2000 when it seemed like he was literally pancaking guys to the mat, but for a time Sick Boy delivered it just as well. Plus, The Cure is simply a better name than The Pedigree. Just feels edgier for some reason.

    zzzorf, I think I am going to start going to the more obscure wrestlers for these pieces. One of my favorite columns I ever wrote here was about Skandor Akbar, a manager who was never in WWE or anything but managed for a long time in WCCW and Mid South and helped shape many guys who'd become big names. I like being able to bring some attention to lesser names, and it seems like that's what I did here. Time to make it a trend I suppose.

    Skulduggery, how do you know that I haven't written about the continental drift yet? I am a man of many talents, although not at Jet Set Radio apparently. Thanks for the props on my writing style; it took me a long time to realize that this style best represents me, and I'm glad I finally realized that. Fear not about the gifs; I have to put only a couple on here now as apparently columns can only have four pictures in them. So there will be less of them, and I'll have to be more strategic in my placement. Should be a doozy!

    tripler, what happened to your name dude? It's so tiny now, almost as tiny as Sick Boy's wikipedia page! I couldn't believe it when I went on there; you could find more info on a Cult Icon wikipedia page than on that guys. The only way I could make this column long was by doing as much background checking on the guy as I could (there's a couple sites I use for that) and watching his stuff on youtube. Add that with my pop culture shenannigans, and bam, you've got it. It's like making chocolate chip cookies really.

    T.O., there will be a whole series on the Flock at some point, though it's probably going to come after the Battelground collab with mizfan, the Super Friends column, and then the ones about the Stro and two things I can't talk about at this time. So don't worry, Reese will be covered. We can't not talk about the guy who was the Yetti at one point.

    Thanks for the reads dudes, keep them coming if you want. Expect the Battelground predictions column up sometime this week, as well as one more (not sure which). Till then, you guys just keep on doing the DUCHOVNY!

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