You know, you’d think by now I’d have figured out the formula for opening a column cleverly enough. I mean, I’m a creative guy right? I’ve been known to create a meme or two in my day, and maybe an interesting column idea. So how the hell can I not come up with something cool to open these bad boys with? I’m blaming the board reset, Orange is the New Black and Grand Theft Auto V for this one. Always remember kids, when you’re in trouble, just pass the fault onto the acts of freedom fighters, Taylor Schilling and Hot Donna making out and a game based on either mizfan’s or T.O.’s life. Although I’d wager it’s based on both their lives (I’m on to you two!).
But enough about my failures and the hidden quirks of fellow LOPforum members, as there is wrestling to discuss. I was hoping this would be the place where the next Super Friends column would be released, but due to the reset, it’ll have to be held off for another week so we can get everything in order once and for all. Till then, there will hopefully be a Battleground preview column with mizfan next week (providing he can take time out of jumping off trains) and tonight, we’ll head back into the beautiful place known as the Cult Tribute!. And for the grand return, I’ve decided to go far, FAR into the deep caverns of WCW and pulled out a name that only T.O. is likely to know. So without further ado, let me introduce you to the man voted least likely to ever have a wrestling column about him, the one, the only, SICK BOY!
Cult Tribute: Sick Boy
What You Already Know
Truth be told, this may be the shortest What You Already Know segment in Cult Tribute history. Hell, you likely know more about Michael Douglas’ sex life, which is both unbelievable and horrifying at the same time. If there is anything to know about Sick Boy, it’s that he was originally a WCW Power Plant prospect who went on to be a member of Raven’s Flock, an underrated stable that led Raven into stardom, Raven’s theme music into the “all time greatest theme music” conversation and his “What About Raven?!” catchphrase into the Unintentional Comedy Hall of Fame. Seriously, it’s still quoted ironically on this site to this day.
What You May Not Know
Now onto the real meat. For starters, Sick Boy actually wasn’t a slouch during his WCW career, receiving a couple title shots during his stay, including two U.S. Championship matches against Diamond Dallas Page and Television Title match against the immortal Rick Steiner. Not huge, but it’s more than what Jesse from Biscuits and Gravy got during his Hall of Fame run. Beyond that, the most interesting thing about Sick Boy in WCW was a pretty sick finishing maneuver he performed called The Cure. Sure, it was a bit tacky to give a guy named Sick Boy a finisher called The Cure, but it was a pretty cool name and it did, all things considered, work for the gimmick. But just how does one execute The Cure?
Yes kids, The Cure is in fact the twin brother of The Pedigree, which unless you’ve been living under a rock since 1996 is the finishing move of Triple H. Both Triple H and Sick Boy used the moves at the same time during their runs, and I think it’s safe to say who got more mileage out of the move. That said, Sick Boy’s Cure was just as well done as Triple H’s Pedigree, and in fact I’d say they were completely identical until the COO turned the move into a truly devastating finisher in 2000. So really, you could argue that Sick Boy at one point did Triple H’s own move better than Triple H, which would be the funniest WCW related Triple H story if not for the fact that Alex Wright holds a clean pinfall victory over Triple H at Starrcade 94! That’s right; Alex Wright has done what CM Punk has never been able to do! SIGN HIM NOW WWE!
What may be the most interesting aspect of Sick Boy’s wrestling career however is what occurred after his WCW stint. After being released by WCW in mid 1999, Sick Boy would be signed by WWE and sent to the developmental system, where he would perform until 2002. In the fall of that year, he was scheduled to be called up to work a major angle WWE was promoting at the time, under his real name; Robert Scott Vick. Yup, WWE was going to incorporate Sick Boy into the Katie Vick storyline, where he would play Vick’s (presumably) still living brother. It’s unknown what role he would’ve exactly played in the fiasco, but ultimately the angle went the way of the Dodo and WWE decided to keep Sick Boy in developmental. He’d be released soon after and decided to retire. I suppose I would choose to get out while the getting was good too after nearly being a part of the most Wiseauean angle in WWE history.
On some level, it has to be avoiding the Katie Vick angle. At the very least, Sick Boy can tell his grandkids one day that he was able to avoid that angle, which in my opinion still has cast a dark shadow over Kane this very day. As far as his in ring exploits go, I’ll have to go with a match against Lenny Lane on the March 9th, 1998 episode of Monday Nitro. It’s not the best match of Sick Boy’s career (that would be against Diamond Dallas Page earlier in the year), but it’s solid, it features solid evidence of Sick Boy doing the cure, and features both members of the poor man’s Edge and Christian, Lenny and Lodi. Although, is it fair to call Lodi the poor man’s anything? That dude was always able to be entertaining on some level.
On a legacy scale, I think it’s safe to say Sick Boy is at a zero. He did absolutely nothing huge during his run, and he’ll likely never be remembered by anyone in a thousand years. That said, it’s quite interesting to know that he did share the same finishing move as Triple H, wrestled alongside one of the more underrated wrestling talents in history (Raven) and was almost a part of some of the worst television pro wrestling has ever put forward. And you know what? The guy could go in the ring too; his matches with DDP and Chris Benoit, while short, are entertaining to watch and show Sick Boy had some nice athleticism to him. Almost enough to make you wonder if he could’ve done something with it had WCW booked the Flock better, before you remember that guys like Kidman, Lodi and Saturn went on to have some success despite their association with the group. For Sick Boy, even the most uneventful career turned out to have some pretty cool stories along the way.
There you have it guys. Hoped you enjoyed this look at a guy you’ve likely never heard of before. Next week, Battleground picks with mizfan, Super Friends 2 and maybe even a Cult Tribute to The Maestro! Till then, don’t play too much GTA V, tell WWE to sign Alex Wright and Christina Von Eerie, vote Duchovny/Douglas for President, and let Spider Man out of the toaster dammit!
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