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Thread: January 2018 Columnist of the Month - ZZZORF WINS HIS FIRST COTM!

  1. #1
    Word Enthusiast Steve's Avatar
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    January 2018 Columnist of the Month - ZZZORF WINS HIS FIRST COTM!

    Here we are, yet again. It's a new year, a fresh batch of columns, even a new competition kicked off to provide us with some awesome contributions from a wide array of writers. You can't really ask for much more than that.

    First and foremost, I'm aware of how busy many of you are right now with CSI. I also know that more people than usual are cycling through this place because of CSI, though, and so I expect a solid turnout. To that end, I'll save the jibba jabba and jump right into this thing.

    Before I make with the columns and columnists and whatnot, how's about a refresher on the rules?

    RULES

    The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net


    1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

    2). No voting for yourself.

    3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

    4). The candidate you vote for must have posted at least one column in the month of January 2018.

    5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

    6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

    7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

    8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

    9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

    10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.

    a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.

    b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.

    For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

    11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

    12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If it's still tied after that, the moderator in charge of the contest will determine a winner via a coin toss, with the rights to call the flip determined by which contender garnered the chronological first vote in the original competition. If said moderator in charge of the contest is involved in the tie, the coin flip will be executed by a moderator not directly involved with the contest. That's awfully wordy but actually pretty straightforward. Feel free to ask if you're fuzzy on any of the details.



    Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month for January. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

    Speaking of, here's the list of eligible columnists and their respective columns. Big thanks to the once again eligible to win TripleR for compiling said list. If you find something that was left out just let me know and I'll get it sorted.



    205 Clive
    205 Clive - Great Care Should Be Taken With Future NXT Call-ups
    205 Clive - Royal Rumble: The Roman Reigns Show
    CSI Qualifier: I Hate That Kurt Angle Guy!

    Benjamin Button
    2018: Beyond the Puma Mask: The road for Ricochet/The Road for Lucha Underground.

    Burn1nMyLight
    Burn it Down - Former Future

    Dannokaboom
    CSI Qualifier - Boombox: Reasons to be Mero
    CSI Group C Round 1 – Sexploits

    Donnie House
    Spoiler Free: Royal Rumble 2018

    DynamiteBillington
    Bull from a Bulldog: The Legend Returns

    Eldandy
    CSI Qualifier: Sittin' Pretty with eldandy: We Want Blood! We Don't Want Sawdust!
    [CSI Group B Round 1] Shakin’ Speary with eldandy: Verona Rumble

    Johnny Boomerang
    CSI Qualifier - Armageddon This Right?
    CSI Group A Round 1
    CSI Group A Round 2: The Boomerang Prophecies LIX

    Jportrey8
    The realisation of of unrealism

    Kingzak13
    Kingzak Presents: PPV-Star of WrestleMania
    Kingzak presents: Royal Rumble/Takeover 2018 Predictions
    [CSI Qualifier] Kingzak presents: Screw you, Last Year

    Kleckamania
    CSI Qualifier: Quantum Whoop Existence- Holla If You Save Me

    Laith
    Laith presents The Wrestling Vision I: Royal Rumble 2018 Predictions

    Mavsman
    [CSI Qualifier] One Last Question
    [CSI Group C Round 1] Nothing But Net - The Knife of Hanging On

    Mazza
    CSI Qualifier - Ponds of Anarchy
    [CSI Group A, Round 1] REQUESTING FLYBY: The Key To The Kingdom
    [CSI Group A Round 1] TMTTTCITJTW

    Mizfan
    The Bright Side: Match of the Year 2017 Countdown Spectacular!! (SERIES)
    CSI Qualifier - The Bright Side: Match of the Year 2000 Countdown Spectacular!!
    [CSI Group A Round 1] The Bright Side: Monopoly

    Oliver
    Oliver's Twist: Why WWE MUST look to it's PAST to SAVE Finn Balor
    Oliver's Twist: On Naito vs Okada.
    Bearly Reviewing III (ongoing)

    PrimeTime
    Take Up Thy Wrestling Boots and Walk #220

    Sheepster
    [CSI Qualifier] Under The Fleece: Episode 00 - What a difference a year makes

    Shinobi
    CSI Qualifier: The Devil's Advocate presents The A to Z of 2000 - M is for Medal
    [CSI Group C - Round 1] The Devil's Advocate – Valnourished

    SirSam
    Sir Sam's Court: Lords of Pain 2017 People's Choice Wrestler of the Year Awards
    Sir Sam's Court: Kenny Omega v Chris Jericho: Judas in my Mind
    Sir Sam's Court: Late As Usual
    Sir Sam's Court: The Royal Rumble Biggest Winners & Losers
    CSI Qualifier: The Stories that Defined the WWF in 2000 - The Rock Rising
    [CSI Group D Round 1] Sir Sam's Court: WWE is Zeppelin

    Sketch
    CSI Qualifier. Sketch Speaks - K-Kwik will be the next big WWF Superstar.

    Spinmaster
    Mizzie & The Spin's Total Non-Stop Wrestling Project- What Have We Done? (w/Mizfan)
    Spinning Out of Control: A Closed Door of Destiny
    CSI Qualifier- Funko Dojo Presents: My Developmental Diatribe
    [CSI Group C Round 1] Spinmaster's Sexual Stint: Seamen!, Sirens! Squirtle?

    Steve
    (CSI Qualifier) All About The Game (Phat Pharm Debut!)
    [CSI Group D Round 1] Behind The Music: WWF

    TheLAW
    My World: The Return of The OutLAW
    My World: The Crippler
    CSI Qualifier: My World- Ep. 24/7

    TimR
    WWE and the Women's Notvolution

    TripleR
    Chair Shots Presents: The 2017 LOP Royal Rumble Match
    Chair Shots Presents: EBLM J0555-57Ab

    TypeItInMaan
    Type It- Take 28: My 5 Favorite And Least Favorite WWE decisions for 2017
    Type's Take: Making The Case for 4 Longshots to Win The Rumble
    Type's Take: Spitfire thoughts
    Type's Take: #MeToo
    CSI Qualifier: Tell Me A Lie
    Type's Take: How To Make The XFL Succeed

    UKMDK
    Life in Kayfabe: Turning Heel

    VonWrestler
    Old School Saturday Night
    From Iron Claw to Curb Stomp

    Zzzorf
    The King of Stats presents the Official Form Guide for the 2018 Column Series Invitational
    Wayne's World: Royal Rumble 2018 Running Diary
    The King of Stats presents the 2017 WWE Superstar & NXT Superstar of the Year (SERIES)
    [CSI Qualifier] The King of Stats presents the 2000 WWF Superstar of the Year



    That's a long ass list, ain't it? Lots of awesomeness to choose from, to say the least. This should be an interesting one.

    Getcha vote on. Getcha vote on. Getcha getcha getcha getcha getcha vote on.

    Voting ends on Tuesday, February 13th at 11:59 PM (CST) / 9:59 PM (PST) / Whatever o'clock :59 (other weird time zones)

  2. #2
    Broken Kleck Kleckamania's Avatar
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    I guess I'll lead off here. Yesterday I read through Zzzorf's Superstar of The Year dailies and thought he crushed it. I think this is long overdue, Zzzorf for Columnist.


    As for individual column this is even easier for me, as I thought this column was quite beautiful, plus I'm a sucker for anything Astronomy related... Chair Shots Presents: EBLM J0555-57Ab


    Great work all around. Lots of new and old faces putting in some really enjoyable columns.

  3. #3
    Mr 173
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    I'll follow Kleck's lead here and say that zzzorf for a well deserved columnist of the month.

    He gets column of the month for me too. because Im an idiot and cant read when columns come out lol. (thanks for the heads up mizzy)

    Column of the month (FOR NEXT MONTH) is Kleck for Time in a bottle. Seriously go read that thing.
    Last edited by TheLAW; 02-07-2018 at 01:43 PM.

  4. #4
    Squared
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    It's almost redundant voting for him when he's already into double figures, but honestly I think Mizfan was the best writer this month. Very few people can live with his A-Game.

    I could also quite happily vote for him for individual column, too, but I'm going to spread the love around and plump for Valnourished, by Shinobi.



    @lopprimetime

  5. #5
    Definitely zzzorf for columnist of the month.
    Given the research that must have gone into it, I'll vote his daily series for the column too.

  6. #6

    COTM

    Columnist: MizFan

    Column: Dynamite Billington's piece on part timers

  7. #7
    Member 205 Clive's Avatar
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    Column - Sirsam's "Judas In My Mind"

    Columnist - Oliver

  8. #8
    The Brain
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    Big props to many who wrote, particularly Oliver and Sam, but I gotta give the vote to my man zzzorf. Wayne's amazing selection of obscure matches alone was enough to convince me once again, so glad this man is back around!

    Individual column is a real bear this month. I narrowed it down to Verona Rumble, Quantum Whoop, WWE and the Women's Notvolution, and Beyond the Puma Mask, cutting out some other great contenders along the way. I think I have to go with WWE and the Women's Notvolution, by our man TimR. Great insightful piece that really makes you think and question some things.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLAW View Post
    Column of the month is Kleck for Time in a bottle. Seriouslyn go read that thing.
    Awesome column, but it came out in February!

  9. #9
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    My vote has to go to Mizfan, as always I believe his January dailies puts mine to shame.

    As to column I would have went with 'Plan - Seth and Success, Act III, Scene I but since it isn't eligible I'll go with Mizfan - Monopoly


    Also Steve you have one of Maverick's columns in Mazza's list on both this and the 2018 list.
    Last edited by zzzorf; 02-09-2018 at 06:48 AM.

  10. #10
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
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    Column of the month- TMTTTCITJTW. For the pure joy it gave me.
    Communist - Oliver

    No I don’t want to change that auto correct.

    Columnist- Oliver.

  11. #11
    Senior Member
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    Oliver for me, on fire

  12. #12
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    zzzorf zzzorf zzzorf .

    Chair Shots Presents: EBLM J0555-57Ab
    And Jacob wrestled with God.






  13. #13
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
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    But I am a communist!

    Columnist is a straight toss up between zzzorf and mizfan, and I'm just narrowly giving it to mizfan who has not only done a daily series but kept delivering in CSI too.

    Column I'm going to pop to Chair Shots Presents: EBLM J0555-57Ab.

  14. #14
    Senior Junior SirSam's Avatar
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    This one is a rough way, real three way race, you have Mizfan and zzzorf on the dailies and a few extras too and then also Oli who has kept Bearly kicking along and also contributed some real quality pieces. I'll put Mizfan by a fraction and it really feels rough separating him from zzzorf because the amount of work that goes into his work is crazy, I loved waking up each morning and reading both so I honestly cannot split them. For me Mizfan gets it purely on the Monopoly column which was like reading his own little wrestling manifesto.

    Column is very difficult too. Like zzzorf I would have gone 'Plan's Shakespear transformation if he was elligible but he did just sweep Main Page End of Year Awards, the guy can't take out everything. Besides that there were a number of really top eligible columns in the CSI, the aforementioned Monopoly piece, Ponds of Anarcy, Sexploits, The Knife Hanging On & Behind the Music immediately spring to mind.

    Also really loved On Okada v Naito by Oli.

    However I'm going to go for one no one else is talking about, Type's #MeToo column. Timely and also very powerful stuff that provoked a lot of debate, also shows just how much the guy has grown as a writer. It gets my vote.

  15. #15
    Zzzorf for COTM
    Buttons Behind the Puma Mask for column

  16. #16
    Columnist: I'm going with Oliver

    Column: I kinda wanted to go with Nony's Notes, but I guess it isn't an option. Instead, I'll go with SirSam's Kenny Omega v Chris Jericho: Judas in my Mind

  17. #17
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
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    Thanks Eldandy, I appreciate the rebellious vote. Plus Sam's title pretty much is my column title.

  18. #18
    Columnist: mizfan
    Column: ̶S̶e̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶S̶u̶c̶c̶e̶s̶s̶,̶ ̶A̶c̶t̶ ̶I̶I̶I̶,̶ ̶S̶c̶e̶n̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶'̶P̶l̶a̶n̶ One Last Question by Mavsman

    (I believe, if I'm reading Rule 11 correctly, we actually are able to vote for 'Plan's column for Column of the Month, we are just not able to vote for Main Pagers for Columnist of the Month. Steve, are you able to confirm that? If I'm wrong, I can re-cast for Column of the Month).
    Last edited by Skulduggery; 02-09-2018 at 05:01 PM.

  19. #19
    Senior Member kingzak13's Avatar
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    Gonna vote zzzorf for columnist of the month.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Skulduggery View Post
    Columnist: mizfan
    Column: Seth and Success, Act III, Scene I by 'Plan

    (I believe, if I'm reading Rule 11 correctly, we actually are able to vote for 'Plan's column for Column of the Month, we are just not able to vote for Main Pagers for Columnist of the Month. Steve, are you able to confirm that? If I'm wrong, I can re-cast for Column of the Month).
    I was under the impression that if it wasn't on the list, it wasn't eligible. I didn't want to ask questions because I didn't want to come across as oldest noob on the board. Or maybe it's the forgetful old timer... Either way.

  21. #21
    Senior Junior SirSam's Avatar
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    6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.
    I think this should clear it up.

  22. #22
    I think you guys are right. Rule 11, the one I read, was talking about recently former MP columnists being ineligible to win Columnist, but they can still win Column. Current MPers are ineligible to win both. My mistake!

    I have edited my original post to re-cast for Column of the Month.

  23. #23
    Main Pager Maverick's Avatar
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    Yo, what Zzzorf said, The Key To The Kingdom was mine, not Mazza's!

    Sir Sam for Columnist and Column EDIT: realised Operation Warhammer was just about in February, so will wait for next month for that...so, column will be Judas In My Mind. Well done Sam!
    Last edited by Maverick; 02-10-2018 at 04:40 PM. Reason: I'm an idiot

  24. #24
    Word Enthusiast Steve's Avatar
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    Were Plan no longer a main pager, Rule 11 would be applicable. As he is still holding it down with a vengeance up top, the applicable rule is #6.

    In short, no, he's not eligible to win either award.

  25. #25
    Samuel Plan
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    SirSam gets my vote for Columnist. Judas in my Mind and Late as Usual were both fantastic.

    Column goes to Brotherhood by Steve. I thought that was a remarkable piece of character capture.

  26. #26
    Word Enthusiast Steve's Avatar
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    Apologies for the delay in getting to the wrap up, here. I've been hella busy all this week, with no real end in sight. I do have about three hours of dead time (kinda, sorta, not really but close enough) at the moment, though, so let's make this thing official!

    This was about as close a race as we've seen in recent memory. Of the four guys who picked up votes, only a scant three votes separates #1 from #3, with the winner taking the victory by the margin of a single vote over #2. That winner? Picking up his first ever COTM victory (how the fuck is that possible? I had to go over the list like three times just to be sure, as it certainly doesn't sound right) zzzorf . This win not only finally gets his name on the History of COTM list where I frankly thought it already was a couple of times, it also cements one hell of a comeback month for our pal Wayne. Really awesome stuff, to say the very least.

    The vote for single Column of the Month was an interesting one. There were 3 votes for columns that weren't eligible (you can't vote for an entire daily series, guys, and my Brotherhood column was written in February), some confusion about whether Plan was eligible to garner votes and ultimately 10 different (eligible) columns given votes. With all that, it should come as no surprise that this one ends in a tie, with Chair Shots Presents: EBLM J0555-57Ab by TripleR and Sir Sam's Court: Kenny Omega v Chris Jericho: Judas in my Mind by SirSam each racking up 3 votes apiece. In a month where 8 other columns were mentioned but only garnered one vote apiece, I'd say that Trips and Sam have every right to be proud as hell of coming out on top of things.

    Huge congrats to all three of our winners, especially zzzorf. Honestly, if you'd have asked me just, like, a few hours ago how many COTM wins he had, I'd have guessed at least two, maybe three. To say that this victory is well deserved is a huge understatement.

    Here's a breakdown of the numbers for those of you who care about such things.


    zzzorf - 7 votes
    mizfan - 6 votes
    Oliver - 4 votes
    SirSam - 2 votes

  27. #27
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
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    Congrats Zzzzzzzorf. Richly deserved for all that work.

  28. #28
    Nice job buddy, and thanks for the nod on Column of the Month. Much appreciated.

  29. #29
    Mr 173
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    Slow Clap for the Z Man! Totally Deserved!

  30. #30
    Senior Member
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    Congrats Zzzorf!
    Read my latest. That's not a request.

    THAT'S AN ORDER, MAGGOT!!!!





  31. #31
    The Brain
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    This one has been a long time coming, and I'm glad it finally came about because of your great year-in-review series. Each year that thread gives me a daily dose of joy. I really can't tell you, Wayne, how great it is to have you back around. I think of all the hard work you've done here over the years and it's really just damn impressive. Congratulations to you!

    Props to Rob and to Sam as well, a couple of well deserved wins!

  32. #32
    How has he never won before?!!!

  33. #33
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    Was always the Bridesmaid, but now I'm the bride.

    If I remember the count properly 5 times I have been the runner up in the COTM voting and a few of them were only by my very own vote (thanks Mizfan for doing the same here like I have to you). It has been a long time coming and I really appreciate the nod from you guys, it made my day seeing my name announced as COTM.

    Now I have a special request, at the moment I have no intention on writing a MP column so if it pleases Steve, Trips and Sam I would like to put the winning Columns of the Month up in my place.

    Anyway while I have only written one column this month don't think I have gone away, I am still here and have a column mostly done. Then again another 10 month hiatus may get me a second COTM instead of waiting another 7 years lol.

  34. #34
    Senior Junior SirSam's Avatar
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    Congratulations zzzorf, love your work and really loved your series. As I said in the feedback it was a little nuget of joy that I got to look forward to when I woke up every morning.

    Thanks to all the people who voted for my piece, really appreciate it, we don't get paid here so any praise is cherished and used as motivation to keep going hard.

    As to your very kind offer I will have to decline for two reasons, firstly and mainly my piece has already been on the main page, 'Plan pulled it and put it on their under his banner (with my name) which was very kind of him and secondly (may as well announce it here) as of this week I am actually moving up to the main page.

    Don't think that means I won't continue to keep up the feedback down here but I will be posting up there. It is very exciting, the last 6 months down here have been some of the most rewarding in all of my time writing on the internet and I look forward to continuing up on the main page.

    So thanks very much for the offer but I'll have to pass.

  35. #35
    Congrats Sam!!!

  36. #36
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    Goddammit Sam, hogging my spotlight! lol. Anyway congrats dude, and shows I don't frequent the MP at the moment. Anyway the offer is still there for you Trips if Steve allows it.

  37. #37
    Broken Kleck Kleckamania's Avatar
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    Big congrats to Zzzorf on a deserved win, and congrats to both Triple R and Sam for their columns, AND to Sam for the MP. Great job!

  38. #38
    No need dude. Take the spotlight for yourself

  39. #39
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
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    How is this only zzzorf's first COTM?!? Guy's been around here as long as I can remember and delivered good stuff across that period too. How curious. Big congrats to the z-man.

  40. #40
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    A Long way to this point zzzorf, always wanted you to win this, very well deserved in a fully stacked month.
    And Jacob wrestled with God.






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