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Thread: CSI Group A Round 3: The Boomerang Prophecies LX: Fragility

  1. #1

    CSI Group A Round 3: The Boomerang Prophecies LX: Fragility

    The Boomerang Prophecies LX: Fragility

    A cold, spiteful evening encased a small house in England. The mournful, menacing moan of the angry air elicited alliteration as a lonely, defiant light upstairs taunted the darkness encapsulating it. It stood out, a beacon of hope and a promise of sanctuary. Delving into the room itself, a haggard individual can be seen, staring desperately at a computer screen, hair shaggy and unkempt, stubble leaning more on ‘homeless’ than ‘rugged’. He stared at the screen, eyes blank as the deadline ticked menacingly closer.
    A sudden, tense change filled the air.

    He sits here, confused and annoyed, unable to conjure any thoughts of yet-to-be-invented moves. Bemused and a little saddened, he stares closer at the screen, hoping in desperation it might reveal some hidden secrets. And then he realises that he's not staring at the screen, the screen is staring at him. The monitor tilts its head, uncharacteristically characterful, opens its sudden mouth, and engulfs him entirely.



    He opened his eyes, and cautiously surveyed the room around him. He found himself in a grand foyer: luscious, thick, red carpet darting from door to door, providing a snaking island relief from the monochrome chequered marble tiles that permeated the floor. Six giant pillars held up multiple marble arches that separated the foyer from a dining area. Carved along the arches, inscribed using meticulous precision, read: “Order of The Versatile, Council of 1001 Holds, Grapplemasters of the Ring MLXVII”. The roman numerals protruded, one from each pillar. In the middle of each, propped up on a small podium, sat a piece of paper, seemingly a note from a member of the aforementioned council to someone important in the industry. Each seemed tattered and aged, but the letter in the middle of ‘X’ and ‘V’ seemed unused, untouched. As the scruffy man gingerly rose to his feet and timidly crept to this contrasting document, he could already read “NOT TO BE PUT INTO PLACE UNTIL AFTER THE SITUATION IN 2020”. He could almost decipher the rest as a cough behind him forced him to pivot and observe an incredibly elderly gentleman sat in a large, comfortable chair beside a crackling fire.

    "Guten abend, und I am Professor Gerthard Von Grappelschatner, ze greatest professional vestler zat ever lived. I am ze original man ov a thousand-und-eins holds, ze creator of almost every move, flip und hold zat you haf seen. Today ze council has given me spetzial permission to dizcuss some of my latest designs." He began to rise, a broken, staccato dance that culminated in him stood on his feet, frailly clutching to the arm of the chair, a fragile finger pointing in the direction of the corridor in front of him. He began to shuffle in that direction.

    “Okay Jerry, go to camera three. And keep one on him, tracking shot. Keep it steady, I can’t afford any mistakes!”


    Filmmakers? Perhaps you shouldn’t assume the narrative device. After all, this is the interior of a monitor. Logic dictates that logic is illogical. The camera, and so obviously, us; the audience, linger behind this delicate old man, his feet sliding against the aging floorboards in the corridor, an offbeat creaking the only sound in an eerily silent house. As he pushes open the lavish iron double doors (just for the look, it’s not real iron. Poor old chap couldn’t open them if so), the room opens out into a… I mean, see for yourself:

    "Each von of zeez", he began, so brace yourself for literary spelling, “is a prototype of a move I haf been vorking on for ze dubble-yhu dubble-yhu ee. My finest and most ring ready inventions are zeez to ze right” He gestured to the left (he’s old, leave him alone) before correcting himself and, blushing slightly, hobbled over the right.

    “Zis first von”, he extended an arm to a device on its head, arms stretched out in front of it, “iz called ze Top Rope Superplex Toss Moonsault”. He looked smug, as only someone that’s invented something they personally cannot test can look. “Vot you haf to do iz get your opponent to ze top rope, zen superplex zem off. As you toss zem backvards, you must do ze moonsault und land on zem for ze pin. Simple. Tempus! Statera! If you could be so kind” He gestured to the side, and a pair of spindly looking tall men emerged and headed to a small ring set up in the middle of the room.

    The first headed to the top rope in an astounding display of grace and poise, deftly leaping over the top rope and nimbly climbing the corner turnbuckle, patiently gazing off into the ether. The second paused a moment, before replicating his companion, then offering an example of the move that seemed almost too perfect. A visualisation of dexterity and agility commenced: the first man superplexed high into the air, as the second man backflipped effortlessly into a frame-perfect moonsault, landing on top of the first man, before both appeared on their feet, silently smiling, neither out of breath at all.

    “zis next von…” he begins, but your eyes can’t leave the men silently smiling in the middle of the ring. There’s something… unnerving about them. Something… off. Improper. He has already shuffled off to the next statue, and you can hear something about a ‘delicate fabric’.


    They aren’t stopping.
    You hoped they might trail after him, but they’re still there.
    At you.
    Hold on, you? Isn’t this supposed to be about the scruffy boy, clearly a representation of Johnny Boomerang?
    He got dragged through the screen, not you.
    Maybe you should have questioned that.
    Screens aren’t really famous for dragging people into them. He might have been in the column, but you clicked on it.
    You opened it.
    You are the catalyst that began these series of events.
    If your curiosity hadn’t gotten the better of you, perhaps you might not be in this situation.
    You glance back at the old man.
    Or, you try.
    He isn’t there.
    Maybe just a dream?
    You look to the ring.


    Right in front of you. Smiling. Silent. Unblinking.

    Perhaps you shouldn’t stick your nose into things you understand nothing about.
    Perhaps certain moves haven’t been invented yet for a reason.
    Perhaps, by stepping into this sacred ground, you have disturbed something for more delicate than you had been prepared for.
    You turn to run, but your eyes are locked in on theirs.
    You can’t stop staring.
    Your mouth begins to itch as you feel the corners curl up into a devious smile.
    Oh god.


    The buzzing of the television rouses you. You’d fallen asleep. You look at your phone, and you see the search on Google, ‘Court of 1001 Holds’. You hastily delete it, and close the app. Maybe, after the events that have passed, you’ll stick to the present in future. The fabric of time is a delicate thing, and one should not attempt to cut ahead, for an unravelling can occur that might just change the shape of reality.

    Or maybe just don’t pretend like you have any idea of anything that might come next. The future is impossible to predict. Relax, it’s just a column.


  2. #2
    @TRSOTP @MazzaLOP Mazza's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Tempus and Statera are gonna give me nightmares for weeks. At first I thought they were just the templates you build your CAWs off but fuck!!

    You've definitely gone 100% full on Boom here. Jeez, very much enjoyed it (well as much as you can knowing you have to trying a beat a column that you are enjoying). Gripped me in, made me laugh, which are pretty much the only two boxes there are to tick. Very clever stuff. Now I have to try and delete that image of those staring creepers from my brain.

  3. #3
    Senior Junior SirSam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Newcastle, Australia
    Damn, that went in a direction I did not see it going but I very much enjoyed it, you've certainly got a talent for flipping a concept in an unexpected way. Love the accent too, very well done.

    I read on the Writer's Lounge that you are planning on sticking around a little which is very exciting to hear, you were one of my favourites down here when I first ventured into the CF under a long forgotten username (Sir_Samuel or Skam127 potentially) so it is cool to see you back down here.

  4. #4
    Twists and turns! Maybe not with quite the shocking thrill of a roller-coaster, but still creative and unnerving enough to spark a good deal of enjoyment (and elicit a degree of chill). I liked how you rearranged the formatting of the column toward the end (centered and one sentence per line) to play into that disturbing kind of feeling. Also, a great way to use images to speak in place of your words – especially toward the end.

    Stipulation was handled expertly well – nothing seemed off or missing while reading the column, so you navigated around the loss of your “W”s smoothly. Topic was done solidly, not spectacularly, but definitely satisfactorily enough.

    The opening couple of paragraphs, in particular, showed some really strong writing skills. I think it kind of mirrored the narrator’s parts in your Montreal Screwjob column, my favorite part of that one, and it was more populous here. To me, that level of writing is as gripping in style as any creative column can be in topic.

    As I mentioned before, I enjoyed this, and maybe the only thing that hindered it a little was that it didn’t knock my socks off. Obviously, not every column will have that effect, but I think the ceiling is a little higher, there’s more potential to do so with this kind of column. The more creative, less textbook wrestling column – these often have a greater tendency toward “high risk, high reward” than their more textbook counterparts. You were definitely more in the neighborhood of reward than risk, but didn’t stick the landing to the effect that a couple of my favorite creative columns in this tournament have. It might’ve been the comparatively looser grip that this column had on wrestling itself?

    I think it was really smart to utilize the “less is more” tactic with the two eerie characters. Rather than describe them in depth, give them volumes of dialogue, etc., you let their mere appearance and just brief discussion about them make the reader come to their own conclusions, likely unsettling ones at that. Fantastic use of the “show rather than tell” tool.

    Definitely my favorite of yours this tournament other than the qualifier – I think there was room for something more, something really stunning – but it’s tough for me to put my finger on what, and it was still enjoyable in its own sense as is.

  5. #5
    The Brain
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Man, this was easily my favorite in our group, and that absolutely includes my own. Love this super creative, narrative driven, deconstructive stuff. And where the hell did that picture come from?!? Really want to dig up the source material. Unbelievably creepy. Boom, you're super cool.

  6. #6
    Assume you mean the creepers pic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4 episode Hush. Watch it, its immense!

  7. #7
    The Brain
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Ah, I really do have to check out that series!

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