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Thread: CSI 2012 Tournament Review

  1. #1
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    CSI 2012 Tournament Review




    CSI 2012


    This is necessarily an incomplete record, as I am trying to proceed from internet archives, and I don’t believe the entire tournament has been saved for posterity. With that said, I still think it’s worth saving what I can. If anyone can add to what I have been able to find here, whether that is Sheepster or one of the other competitors, then please, be my guest.


    First Round


    The Judge: No Longer Overshadowed – The Story of How Owen Screwed Bret
    Dropkick Murphy: Murphy’s Delirium – What the Hart Wants
    Wacco Zacco: Through the Eyes of a Child – The Mat
    Uncle Leo: The Winner, and NEW Divas Champion…. Antonio’s Girlfriend
    ElDandy: Sittin’ Pretty with eldandy – Beyond Nothing: A tale of Blood, Sweat, and SprayTan
    Jackster: Royal Rumble 26 – Suhr, Swog was a Logical Choice
    Oliver: Kid Rock – The Greatest Worker Alive
    Zzzorf: Wayne’s World – Protecting the Wrestling Ring’s Seedy Underbelly
    Sixxisking: Who Screwed Bret?
    Skulduggery: Half Luck, Half Skul – Horny for the GM
    Iron Fist: Straight Outta K’un L’un – Why Don’t You Sit Down, and I Shall Tell You A Tale
    JoeMurphy: Irish Whip – Heath Slater is Money!
    Mazza: Power for Struggle 2012
    KingKervin: The Lucky Leprechaun (More Than Just a Slot Machine)
    TheMaskedNewton: Indecision
    Golden: Oscar Nominated 2013: Feud of the Year - Heath Slater vs Undertaker
    Sidgwick: Undead Wendy
    JStar: The Grand Courtship of Lady Bell
    Fenixx: I'm Too Old For This Shit
    Shee: Green Eyes: Sak Ana?

    There were also columns in this round – with titles that seem to have been lost – from Xanman, and CalB.


    The possibility exists that there was another round in between this first and sweet sixteen - possibly a collaborative round - which has since been erased and can't be found due to an ill-timed board reset.




    Sweet Sixteen


    This round saw the winners of the previous matches square off against the seeded, invited columnists, and had a 1980s theme. Here was the scenario from Sheepster:

    Hey, dudes! This round is, like, totally rad! The date is 31st December 1989. Reagan is president, Thatcher is prime minister, and the Berlin Wall fell less than two months ago. Hulk Hogan has been the WWF champion for nine months. WCW is currently producing shows under the NWA banner while Ric Flair is still doing his thing with his seventh run with their title.

    But there is no topic here. You all have an open choice to write about whatever you choose. The only drawback is that the last 22 and a half years haven't happened yet. You cannot reference them in any way. No comparisons, no nothing. Ric Flair isn't yet an 11-time world champion and Montreal is still just a mediocre Canadian city. Any reference to events from the '90s or beyond will simply confuse the judges. Apart from that, have fun! Let your imaginations run wild! Enjoy the relative freedom!

    Be careful though. This round is also a race against time. If your opponent posts their column first, you'll get stuck with certain limitations. Slowcoaches, read the rules carefully.

    (1) Whatever topic you choose, you must not reference anything from the future. For every anachronistic reference, you will lose 10pts from your final score.

    (2) If you post your column before your opponent, you can use as many words as you wish. If your opponent has already posted, you will be limited to 1700 words. For each word over the limit, you will lose 0.5pts from your final score.

    (3) If your opponent has already posted before you, you must not use the words ring or but in your column. For each infraction of this rule, you will lose 2pts from your final score.

    (4) At this stage, spelling and grammar should be perfect. For each mistake I see, you will lose 5pts from your final score.

    (5) The three judges will score your efforts out of 100 and an average will be taken. After penalty deductions, the highest score wins and goes through to the Elite Eight.


    The Results:


    El Dandy, ‘title lost’ beat CalB, ‘A clockwork Wrestling; Style revamp’, by 23 points
    Mazza, ‘Those in the Know (1700 Butts Through the Ringer)’ beat TheMaskedNewton, ‘And then there were none’, by 8 points
    Prime Time ‘title lost’ beat Xanman, ‘title lost’ by 1.5 points
    Mizfan, ‘A Tale of Two Rickys (AKA The Changing World) beat DaShee ‘Power Pete's Power Slam’ by 8.5 points
    Mavsman, ‘My Dinner With Andre’ beat Oliver, ‘title lost’ by 8.5 points
    TripleR, ‘title lost’ beat Sidgwick, ‘An Excerpt from the December 1989 Sharp Shooting Newsletter’, by 25.5 points
    Fenixx, ‘The Flying V [5] - Falls Count Anywhere’, beat Plan, ‘title lost’, by 5.5 points
    Freeman, ‘title lost’ beat Golden, ‘title lost’ by 43.5 points



    Elite Eight


    For reasons that are unclear now, though he lost to Fenixx both men posted a column for the Elite Eight and ‘Plan continued in the tournament. Oliver, too, was back in after defeat for reasons that are now equally unclear. It was also revealed at this stage that ‘Freeman’ was actually Shinobi.



    Prime Time: 'Prime Time on Wrestling - One-hit Wonder' beat Mizfan: 'The Subtlest Man in the Business'
    Mavsman: 'Cynical Fallacies' beat TripleR: 'Chair Shots - The Devil and Daniel Bryan'
    Eldandy: 'Sittin Pretty - How To Succeed At Wrestling Without Really Talking' beat Mazza: 'Maz Debating Special: Shoot with The Cerebral Assassin'

    Then, in the fatal four way to resolve the problems of the last round, ‘Plan progressed with his 'Subtlety In Pro Wrestling: An Exploration'. The three columns he beat were:
    Fenixx: The Flying V - Whispers As Loud As Shouts
    Oliver: It's the little things they do...
    JoeyShibobi: The Man With The Dragon Tattoo (One Day Son, You'll Understand)


    The Final Four


    This was a controversial round. I was the only person to follow a key stipulation and so progressed immediately in the final. The remaining three rulebreakers then squared off in a triple threat match to see who would join me.

    ‘Plan: Iconography
    Mavsman: Infinity
    Eldandy: Sittin Pretty with eldandy - The Jesus of Wrestling

    And, having survived one elimination already, ‘Plan progressed to the final – though the results are now lost.


    The Grand Final


    This was a best of three affair between ‘Plan and Prime Time, who were also neck and neck in the columnist of the year voting for 2012 – which gave the final a certain amount of interest even though Prime Time had twice advanced on technicalities and ‘Plan had already faced an exit once before.

    The first round was set by Xanman who, after being eliminated, had replaced one of the judges, and had a Star Trek theme, the specifics of which are lost to history. ‘Plan triumphed here, as his ‘The Industry on the Edge of Forever’ beat out PT’s ‘Who Mourns for Ortonais?’

    The second challenge was set by ‘Bear, was called ‘The Bear’s Necessities’ and carried a Disney theme. Here, PT’s ‘SnoWWE White’ carried the day over 'By The Fireside with Planny'.

    Information on the decider has been lost. But the final result was decided by a spelling mistake, as ‘Plan confused the word ‘stalk’ for ‘stork’. He made this mistake a multitude of times and early indications were that he could have lost as much as 30 points for it, but in the end the decision was made to treat it as one infraction. It was, however, enough to give Prime Time a very close victory, tipping things back his way by the narrowest of narrow margins.
    Last edited by Prime Time; 02-14-2018 at 08:51 AM.



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  2. #2
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
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    Am I right in thinking that 'Plan wrote something based on Peter Pan?

    This was my first tournament on here, and I can't for the life of me remember why I ended up getting myself back in at the Elite Eight stage. It's entirely possible there was some kind of Triple Threat element to it as a second chance thing, but I honestly cannot tell you.

  3. #3
    Samuel Plan
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    It was called By the Fireside with Planny I believe and, yes, it was about Peter Pan!

    I also recall the controversy and the rematch in the semifinal. I don't know what it was but I remember it was all on interpreting a stipulation I think.

    I can't recall how I got back in after fenixx beat me....

  4. #4
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    The semi-final one I do remember. The stip asked you to write a column with a specific title. I was the only one who did. Major technicality but I went straight through to the final as a result.



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  5. #5
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
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    I might have just cracked what happened at the Elite Eight stages. I think 'Freeman' and Fenixx were originally lined up against each other, but both missed the deadline. Therefore (for reasons I'm unclear on) Sheepster reached out to 'Plan and myself to fill the hole left in a head-to-head, which ended up as a fata fourway.

    I'm trying to draw the strings together based on Shinobi's column on the Wayback Archive, but does any of that ring a bell to people? Check this here - https://web.archive.org/web/20121102...ll-Understand)

  6. #6
    This is a nugget of nostalgia. I remember 'Plan's Peter Pan column - it was right around the time of Survivor Series '12. Cena was Peter Pan, CM Punk was Captain Hook, and Ryback was the crocodile. Great stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by Prime Time
    The possibility exists that there was another round in between this first and sweet sixteen - possibly a collaborative round - which has since been erased and can't be found due to an ill-timed board reset.
    Also, the round between the first round (qualifying round) and the Sweet Sixteen was a head-to-head, bracket-style collaboration column where both columnists competing against each other were given a random match type, and had to argue that it was the greatest match type in WWE history. I remember this specifically as I was matched up against Oli - he had to argue that the Street Fight was the greatest match stipulation in history; I had to do the same with the "_______ on a Pole" Match. I actually thought I had crafted something of a decent, albeit obviously-stretching argument, and Oli completely destroyed me with a single retort that any possible advantage a "_______ on a Pole" Match could have would effectively be bettered in a Ladder Match. He also did a great job in his Street Fight argument, but I was toast at that point!

    There were some fun ones. Pretty sure Iron Fist had the unenviable task of going to bat for the Punjabi Prison match. Somebody had to do the Last Ride match.

    I also distinctly remember "The Subtlest Man in the Business" by mizfan, about Charles Robinson, a brilliant piece, and one of my favorite columns of all time, "Cynical Fallacies" by Mavsman.

    I have a feeling CSI '18 is going to give us some diamonds too. Can't wait.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skulduggery View Post
    This is a nugget of nostalgia. I remember 'Plan's Peter Pan column - it was right around the time of Survivor Series '12. Cena was Peter Pan, CM Punk was Captain Hook, and Ryback was the crocodile. Great stuff.
    That was the column that made me think he'd won the final. As I say, I'd been disappointed not to take the first one when it was all in, but thought that'd blown me out of the water. Was stunned when it went my way.



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  8. #8
    Samuel Plan
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    Oh, and the opener Prime was comparing WWE to Star Trek and we both went the route of comparisons to the TNG crew. You focused on Orton I think and I did the whole of Evolution.

  9. #9
    I think I have my work from this tournament still saved somewhere so I might be able to fill in some of the blanks for you.

    Hi everybody!

  10. #10
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    Long time no see! Welcome back!



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  11. #11
    Been sitting around thinking about writing. Knew where to come.

  12. #12
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    My sweet 16 column was titled "My Dinner with Andre". I was really proud of that one, given the circumstances.

  13. #13
    Samuel Plan
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    You know, that really rings a bell. If I remember rightly it went down a storm with most folks?

  14. #14
    Main Pager Maverick's Avatar
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    I remember now why I didn't enter: was moving house and had to take a couple of months off from the CF. By the time I came back, CSI was already in full swing. Can't believe I've had to wait six years for another chance to enter!

  15. #15
    Samuel Plan
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    Son we can add Maverick's odyssey to the stories stacking up? LOP booking is on fire right now....

  16. #16
    Can anyone find the column I wrote impersonating Freeman? I'm mildly curious.

  17. #17
    Samuel Plan
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    I think I might have gotten that one wrong... It might have been freeman impersonating you after all? There's one lurking about in one of these threads that frames us as wrestlers in a creative writing piece. It might be the elite eight thread.

  18. #18
    No, I definitely remember writing that. It was the irascible bit that tipped me off.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mavsman View Post
    My sweet 16 column was titled "My Dinner with Andre". I was really proud of that one, given the circumstances.
    Man, I remember that (probably because - if I'm right - you and I were pitted against each other). Loved it.

  20. #20
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    I am going out on a limb here but maybe someone can confirm or deny it...

    I think you've got in that elite eight round the fourway between 'Plan, Oliver, Fenixx, and Shinobi.

    Then I think it was Mizfan and El Dandy?

    And maybe me and Rob?

    Which would leave Mavsman and Mazza?

    Everyone except Fenixx is around at the minute, so I guess there's a chance someone will remember some of this.

    EDIT: Scratch that, it's in the column I dug up and I'm completely wrong. What a putz.
    Last edited by Prime Time; 01-17-2018 at 09:32 AM.



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