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Thread: Bearly Reviewing III

  1. #41
    Lamb of LOP anonymous's Avatar
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    Also Raw was actually pretty darn good.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
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    It's amazing what filling the show with actual wrestling, some or all of which has consequences, can do.


    Quote Originally Posted by Powder View Post
    WWE still will not let the Miz. Eat Cena, even on a RAW.
    Thank goodness. That's definitely not PG.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
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    Bearly Reviewing Smackdown

    Smackdown tonight is in Bakersfield. Famous people from Bakersfield include:

    - John Tarver: Was in NEXUS
    - Rick Mears: Jungle man
    - Korn: meat for vegetarians

    Dolph Ziggler vs Baron Corbin

    Smackdown wants you to forget they just spent a few weeks building tension between Salmon and Big Kev, so they have them team up here to beat both guys off.

    Down. They beat them down.

    Then they stand tall.

    Sarahh Logann vs Charlotte FLAIR

    Everyone in this match has their friends, which is nice. Becky Lynch is there, as is Naomi.

    Charlotte FLAIR wins, obviously. She looks at the sign.

    Afterwards, Becky tells a joke. ‘What’s got no hair, is wet, and quivers? A baby in the rain!

    Nobody laughs.

    Fucking Omnipresent Shane give Big Baz and Kurt Russel another chance.

    Baron Corbin vs Big Kev

    It is I, Baron Corbin, the last true Baron of WWE. Ya, ya, I know, ya, well I thought I’d go to Fast Lane and get the victory, you know, the big ‘W’, but it seems some chubby scrote has got in my way and now I must dispatch him and his sweaty pallid skin as well. Seriously, does this guy even moisturise? Jasper, prepare my hand gel shower, I’m going to need to disinfect when I’m done with this lardy boy. Ya, ya, oh he won’t know what happened when I hit him, uhuh, no way he sees it coming, I’m going to take him out, make him wish he’d done a leaveroonie after he touched me earlier, ya.

    Baron wins, because someone on the Smackdown writing team watched Raw and though ‘ooh, Fatal Five Way matches are good, aren’t they?’ The same person has been responsible for writing Thee Riott Squadd

    Randy Orton vs Bobby Roode

    It’s the US Open Challenge, because they’re devoid of all original ideas. Instead of a match, Jinderoids turns up and they all have a little chat. This turns into a fight over the Smackdown Top 10 list.

    Mahal stands tall, about 6’ 5”.

    The New Day vs Shad

    This is a fight over pancakes. The New Day win.

    Dolph Ziggler vs Sami Zayn

    They fight.

    Dolph wins. He was given this opportunity despite dumping a title and walking out on the company for two months. I don’t get it, but whatever.

    Rating – Whoever books Smackdown should be fucking ashamed of themselves

  4. #44
    I beat up Kong! Powder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver View Post

    Thank goodness. That's definitely not PG.
    Damn iPad and it’s keyboard.

  5. #45
    The Brain
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    Man, Road Dogg is some kind of hack with the book, isn't he?

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