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Thread: The ABCs of Wrestling 2017 (A-G)

  1. #41

    Great work!

    These have all been good to great so far! The quality of work has been through the roof and exceeded my already high expectations for the people who signed up to do this. I regret backing out of this due to my busy schedule! Should've just sucked it up and found time.. but I'm enjoying it. Keep it up!

  2. #42
    Senior Member SirSam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Loved the poem. What a great assortment of pieces we have here.

    I always liked Finlay, always solid even when he was saddled with Hornswogglr. Much respect for working the final line in too Leaf.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Oliver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Man, those first few letters just accentuate what I always loved about this - we've veered from personal tinged stuff to comedy to melancholy to rhyme. Outstanding work from everyone so far, and I pretty much loved every single one of them. Great work guys!

  4. #44
    Not a fan of poem type columns, but it was well written. Always liked Finlay - he was never going to be the main event, but you always knew you would see a good match when he was out there.

  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver View Post
    Man, those first few letters just accentuate what I always loved about this - we've veered from personal tinged stuff to comedy to melancholy to rhyme. Outstanding work from everyone so far, and I pretty much loved every single one of them. Great work guys!
    Gotta agree with Oli. This brings out such diversity. Can't wait to see what comes up in the next batch. I'm in here somewhere, but you've got a bit of a wait

  6. #46
    Word Enthusiast Steve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Deep in the heart
    The Grids tell the story of a wrestler. The template of his existence is provided - but you choose your own story.

    Each grid holds a 2-dimensional story out of text blocks in a 3x3 matrix that tells a unique and coherent story when read across any row or down any column.
    For example:


    In which A1!, B2@, C3#, ABC, 123, and !@# each stand on their own as a short story. As such, each grid contains 6 different stories.

    Combining the 2 grids, one after the other, you have up to 6 x 6 = 36 different stories! Enjoy!

    20 Years Ago - The Blue Chipper

    The monitor flickered in the locker room, signifying the end of another match. The Enforcer gripped tightly to the championship belt draped over his right shoulder. In deep thought, he kept running his fingers unknowingly across the gold rim as he contemplated about his main event match with Johnny Gunn. His first ever Wrestlemania. The roaring crowd was ready for the main event between the Enforcer and Johnny Gunn. The rivalry was red hot since the Rumble. This had been hyped as the biggest match of both men’s careers, the ultimate hero vs hero showdown. The Enforcer hoped that he could pull off a legendary effort befitting of the legacy of his career. He started biting his nails as he stared at the mirror, a bad habit he’s been trying to shake off. He slowly made his strides toward the gorilla position. Down the corridor he saw a familiar sight of the boy who was waiting patiently for him. ”Daddy!” The little boy sprinted across the corridor when he saw the Enforcer walking towards him. For the first time in a week, the Enforcer grinned from ear to ear. “My boy! Who let you in?” With one arm he scooped up the boy and kissed him. “I missed you so much, buddy. Where’s mom?”

    “The suit man brought me here, mom’s still out there.” The boy pointed at the curtain. “Daddy, I want you to beat Johnny tonight!”

    The Enforcer thought for a moment. “Well son, in life, it is okay… to lose. You learn more from losses, you learn how to keep going.”

    It was a moment the Enforcer will never forget. Just him and his little boy, sharing a private moment before the biggest match of his life.
    The Enforcer dipped his finger into a jar of black paint, draping the signature black face paint across his eyes in a thick straight line. In the mirror, he saw his right eyebrow twitching nervously. This was the biggest stage of them all, where thousands in the stadium and millions at home will be cheering on The Enforcer.

    There was a knock on the door. His trainer poked his head into the locker room and yelled out: “Hey, ya ready? Don’t forget you got to meet him before the match starts.”

    “Yeah, just about done.” The Enforcer stood up, grabbed his championship belt and walked out.
    Propped up on a stretcher a few feet outside the gorilla position was Timothy, a Make A-Wish kid who looked to be down to his last few hours. There was not a hair left on his head, and not even his Enforcer face paint could mask his sad eyes. Sickly pale and barely breathing through a ventilator tube, the boy wore a black Enforcer T-shirt with blue tassels tied around his biceps to honor his hero. His mother and father and an older brother and sister were with him, patiently waiting for the promised encounter with The Enforcer. “Promise me you will not stay down even when life tries to beat you down.” The Enforcer whispered as he held the boy close. The boy nodded and grinned at his hero.

    Soon the buzzer sounded.

    He took a deep breath, and pushed his way out the curtain with razor-sharp focus. The music blared loudly and the entire stadium cheered him. Tonight was the night we knew exactly what kind of champion the Enforcer was, for better or worse.
    Vince Mcmahon, the CEO, stood outside the locker room door, his face stern and ominous.

    “Boss, I am ready.” The Enforcer smiled.

    “No, you’re not. Take a minute.” Vince grunted. “I know you won’t like what you are hearing, but Wrestlemania, it’s not the easiest thing to do. Let’s face it, we make mistakes along the way, we correct those mistakes, and stay back on course. My point is,” he took a deep breath. “I just came off a meeting with JR. I am calling the shots. You will... be dropping the championship tonight.”

    “What the fuck is this shit. We got the whole routine down...”

    “Nothing’s changed, only the finish. Johnny reverses the powerbomb into the superkick...”

    The Enforcer nodded his head, and simply walked off even before Vince finished. He thought his career was over, but little did he know this was just one little blip in his wrestling career which would later on span 30 years.
    As the Enforcer continued walking towards the gorilla position, there was a muffled cry calling his name. He knew who it was, but he didn’t even slow down. He merely nodded and grunted, “In a fuckin’ minute. I’m busy.”

    The Enforcer took a minute by himself, stretching and warming up, all the while ignoring the boy’s cries. Soon the buzzer sounded.

    He took a deep breath, pushed his way out the curtain with razor-sharp focus. The music blared loudly and the entire stadium cheered him. Tonight was the night we knew exactly what kind of champion the Enforcer was, for better or worse.
    The entire locker room stood up and applauded as the Enforcer lumbered into the locker room. He rubbed the ice pack on his neck harder and clenched his teeth, forcing a smile as he looked around at his colleagues.

    Johnny Gunn stood up from his seat, the championship belt glistering on his shoulder. He stood forward and hugged the Enforcer, who was taken aback.

    “Thanks man, you have no idea how much this means to me.” He said.
    The roster cheered again, chanting his name: Enforcer! Enforcer!

    He took a step back and inhaled deeply, still rubbing his neck with the cold pack. He bowed his head, sighing quietly.

    “That’s what I do. You’re welcomed.”

    20 Years Later - The Old Man

    The restaurant stood still for a second as the Enforcer walked in at the local cafe and sat down in a booth. He was in a foul mood for no particular reason, something that seemed to be happening a lot these days. He stared at the cup of coffee, still steaming. Calloused hands wrapped around the wooden box on the table before him. The mere thought of it filled The Enforcer with warmth. He turned it around carefully, inspecting it from every angle as the sunlight filtered in through the windows. He lifted the lid quietly, and reached inside. A smile blossomed on his face. In this moment, right here and now, he prayed that things will be all right. He remembered the legends he fought with over the years and what they taught him with their tenacity and longevity. The HoF ring shone in his hand, like a diamond. A blood diamond he paid with blood from his veins.
    It was hard to say what one thing had turned him so bitter over the years. Maybe it was the divorce. Maybe the years on the road, jumping from cities to cities performing for the fans, away from his family. Maybe he was just getting old. He felt old. Not just old... spent too. The wrestling industry made a bitter man out of the Enforcer. In his palm laid the relief to his sore knees, aching back and throbbing headaches. Everyday he takes them and for a fleeting moment his pains, worries and regrets disappear into the void. The yellow one numbs him, the red one helps him sleep, the blue one makes him less agitated. His little companions after 30 years in the business. He arched his head back and his palm emptied the pills into his mouth. The Enforcer reached into the envelope on the table. He stared quietly at the picture of his son. He didn't see him as much as he wanted to anymore, but that was to be expected, when The Enforcer was on the road 300 days a year. The boy grew up and moved out years ago, after a childhood without his dad around most of the time. That’s the life of a wrestler, damnit. He would have traded all the fame and the parties and his HoF ring for a kiss from his precious boy. He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the tears. Sometimes it was hard to be alone.
    He stared at the card that shared the table with his coffee. A wedding invitation... from his ex-wife. The Enforcer slept with so many woman in the wrestling locker room, and he remembers the days when groupies were so eager to jump into bed with him. But the fond memories of returning home to his family were bittersweet. He couldn't tell whether she really wanted him there or just wanted him to feel miserable. Maybe he should just go, it wasn't like he had anything better to do. He missed his son too. The Enforcer is a proud man, proud of his achievements in his 30-year wrestling career, but he couldn't help but reflect on the irony of aging. The longer he lived, the less time he had left, the more time he was willing to commit to things. A younger man with all the time in the world didn't seem to have patience for anything. He was always seeking the thrills and the adoration of screaming fans. He thought he wanted to live dangerously; but now all he wants is peace. So much had to happen to bring him to this moment. So many nights spent wasting away. He had no idea how to get there. Someday, maybe. Carefully, The Enforcer slid the wedding invitation back into its envelope. He spoke to no one in particular. "With or without you, the world keeps turning, doesn't it?"


    G is for Grids
    Written by JacobWrestledGod

    26 letters... 26 columns... 26 days...

  7. #47
    This seriously raises the bar JWG. I'm sitting here going through each combination and finding something new with each story. A single grid can change the whole emotion of the thing. This is some high-level creative stuff right here. Phenomenal idea, really good execution. Totally cool!

    JCool- how many Cool Points does this get?

  8. #48
    The Brain
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Gotta do a whole bunch of catch up!

    Skitz - Classic column here! I never had a WWF ice cream bar when I was a kid, not only was I not a fan yet but I think it was before my time regardless. I am pretty surprised they never tried to bring it back though, it seems so obvious! That chick flick line was seriously brilliant, by the way. I'm not sure people caught how many levels that worked on, or if it just got lost in the usual cascade of clever word play. Awesome stuff fruity one, it's always great to see you in the CF.

    S'moores - Welcome to the CF man! I agree with those who have invited you to stick around and write some more. This was a funny piece, perhaps a bit predictable but there's a reason everyone knows the joke, because one some level it just rings true. I especially liked Ramona Reigns, well played sir!

    Mr Cooool - Damn, from the silly fun to this was quite a transition, but man what a powerful piece here. I can hardly imagine losing my Dad, just the thought threatens to lay me low. Believe me, I am treasuring that time as much as possible. Funny how things move in parallels. I remember when Eddie Guerrero died, a friend of mine was just glad he wouldn't see him on TV anymore. He was just a kid, and Eddie wasn't real to him as a person. To him, it was like the character died. Reminds me of the memory of you have about Owen. It's funny how we process things in a certain time or place. I still remember seeing the Benoit news on TV in a doctor's waiting room and the bottom dropping out of my stomach. In some ways, it never came all the way back. I wrote a D is for Death column a couple years ago, and while it was very different than this, I felt this was a very worthy successor. Thank you for contributing, and sharing something so personal.

    Steve - Goddam Steve, you captured Heyman here perfectly. Barely Legal is such a fascinating watershed moment for ECW and arguably for wrestling, as what happened to ECW both before and after affected the entire wrestling world. Love the way you knocked this out and how many details you incorporated, picture perfect.

    Leaf - I say fuck yes to a Finlay column! I remember when I first saw him in 2006 and not thinking much of him, but the more I have watched the guy over the years the more I realize what a fantastic talent he is. If you want a wrestler with grit who makes you buy into everything he does, Finlay is your man. From his early days in England battling legends like Johnny Saint, to the 90s tearing things up with guys like Regal and Benoit in WCW, to his 00s comeback once again tearing the house down with guys like Benoit and having one of the best 'Mania openers in history with JBL, this is a guy worthy of recognition. Dug the format as well, you did a nice job with the poem format. Well done man, great contribution.

    JWG - Holy crap, my friend, this was phenomenal. Possibly my favorite of the bunch so far. The format was strange but somehow that made it even more compelling. I read through as best I could and felt I was peeking into such a layered and multi-faceted story. I really felt the emotional depth of it in a very real way. This is why I miss you from these parts man, this was incredible. Thank you for coming back to contribute.

    Wonderful series so far, can't wait to see it roll on!

  9. #49
    Senior Member SirSam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Damn that is good. I've been reading this thing for like 20 minutes and still have different combinations I want to try. That thing is so damn good JWG, will be coming back to this one for a while.

    Props to Steve for working out the formatting on it too, can't have been easy.

  10. #50
    Word Enthusiast Steve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Deep in the heart
    Jacob actually handled all the formatting on his own. I just cut and pasted, then added the thingy at the bottom.

    26 letters... 26 columns... 26 days...

  11. #51
    JacobWrestledGod's "Grid" is one of the coolest, most unique, and most creative things I've ever seen on the Columns Forum.

  12. #52
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    TripleR - it's been so long since I tried something cool around these parts, hopefully I can squeeze out some time of work and fatherhood and create more cool stuff.

    Mizfan - Some text in the first grid was too long, but it's worth it. I am glad you enjoyed it, after all, you may not know but you inspired me to start in the CF in 2013.

    SirSam - you are doing great yourself, and I look forward to your columns. The formatting was done by me, but I am a software developer so it wasn't too difficult. The hard part though is the writing.

    Skul - Hey what's up. I would like to think so too, I am humble like that.

    Thank you so much for the love of this column. Basically, if you are interested in the semantics of the writing, the hard part is making sure every individual square can be weaved as 2 parts of 2 different stories. For example, the final row is typically the ENDING of 3 different stories but when connected form a story of their own. It's hard but it's worth the fun. There are certain tricks involved too, for example, the wedding card referring to either the wife's or son's wedding, and using the word boy for both the Make a Wish kid and the Enforcer's son. The wooden box? may hold the HoF ring OR the pills.

    I am proud of my work.
    And Jacob wrestled with God.

  13. #53
    WTF!!! Haven't even read this yet (reckon this is going to be a job to spread out over the course of a day when I should be working!!!), but the concept of that many stories in one column gets my vote for column of the year already!

    Edit: Having now read a number of different potential stories, this truly is good stuff. Kind of dreading my entry coming out now
    Last edited by DynamiteBillington; Today at 06:28 AM.

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