The Failure of Roman Reigns: The story of a man who never was.
Fast forward to the night the Undertaker has been speared and pinned. That dog, Romanís tongue salivates out his mouth while his pink dick rolls out like lipstick, and he then, urinates all over the trees, and the grass, and most importantly the WWE audience, because itís his yard. But is it? Or will it be? Because, he beats Taker, will we believe in him? And what exactly does believing in him mean? By doing this, do we believe in a hero or a villain? Wait, heís not a bad guy. Heís not a good guy. Heís just the guy. But who is the guy if we have nothing to buy into. Heís not the guy, at all. I will argue that he is just a guy.
Again, I ask who Roman is. Hulk Hogan waved the American flag during the height of the cold war. Yeah, he was Americanaó and Steve Austinóhe was every man on the clock that desired freedom from his boss and the daily grind. Heís every man who wanted to stun the man and sing, ďfree man in the morning!Ē? In the 60ís and 70ís the guy was a strong Italian immigrant in New York City, where the statue of liberty raised her torch. In the 80ís when WWE went national it was an All American. And Daniel Bryan may not have been their guy, but he was our guy, because he stood in the place of the underdog and flipped the scrip that the gods wrote against him.
Jesus was love and the Dahlia-Lama peace: Mother Teresa, charity. Daniel Bryan didnít get over against the will of the WWE, because the net wanted to rebel. And if he did, he did it by becoming an idea that made fans rebel. He became the work-horse in a fixed horse-race. Before the WWE chastises its audience for looking anywhere outside their anointed, before we turn on each other, letís ask what idea has the machine given to their chosen? Daniel Bryan against the machine made the ďYesĒ chant and movement with all the energy that made him breathe. What energy has the WWE put into this idea that is Reigns. And Reigns is exactly what idea? Best I can tell he's big, strong, mediocre, and chosen and we should just buy it.
WWE blames the internet age, citing they will not accept who the company wants to push. Loyal WWE fans blame other fans. But this phenomenon of Roman Reigns hate does not end in the digital world. He is rejected by the people he walks through to get to the ring, week after week, and itís everybody in the crowdís fault except his? If Iím buying a dog, I want to know about it, and the most expensive ones are presented with information about the breed and the personality. WWE simply unleashed a pissing mutt and blames us for not liking it.
Truly, Reigns best time was as a hound of justice. In this, you may have your best refute. Still, I argue a hound of justice? What does that mean? Did they bring justice by putting baby-faces through tables and helping heels win? Dear reader, please do not doubt my sense and respect for irony and how smart it can be. But when you are selling a product irony is all but smart. Can you imagine if Master Cardís slogan was a sarcastic ďdonít go into debt.Ē What if the Shield had gone all the way with something instead of hiding in the grey shadows. What if they had been the hounds of anarchy or violence or anything that they backed up with their actions? While the Shield did make six man tag wrestling great again, WWE at its best is foreplay. It will lick your neck and back but never your pussy and crack.
Apple means think different! Nike means just do it! Bounty is the quicker picker upper. Ric Flair was the 60 minute man, the jet flying limousine riding son of a gun. HBK was the show-stopper who had the best match every show. Roman Reigns is the big dog. Heís the guy. Neither of which says anything you want to fucking cheer for and get behind. A superstar becomes larger than life when they become an idea we endear.
Here we have a sub-par wrestler, a poor talker, and a man who represents nothing and when he super manís and pisses on everything in his path, it's the fans fault that they close their mouths to the stream. WWE hates the reaction to Roman, because fans are rejecting their marketing, their writing, and their judgement. Until they put these things to brilliance, I don't care if he beats Taker and Lesnar. I don't give a shit if the guy digs Yoko and Andre out of their respective graves and slams their fat asses. I need to know who the guy doing this is and what he represents.
How dare their constituents ask for more!