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Thread: The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: The WWF Years, '84-'85

  1. #41
    The Brain
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Ray – I’d be happy if there was a manager walking around with $5, because at least then we’d have a manager! But yes, inflation is a bitch, haha. I am so all about managers in the modern day. I deeply want Jericho to bring it back, since he’s one of the greatest characters out there right now. If he can spur that particular revival, I’ll be the happiest guy around. Cheers for the feed, always great to hear from you!

    Mr Thirteen – After seeing them both in the ring, that Rocky/Atlas team must have SUCKED ASS for fans of actual wrestling. They do have a good look, I suppose. In fairness, the fans of this day are so invested that they’d cheer just about any jobber going against a Heenan guy. As for Atlas and his escape, I think comparing it to tender intercourse is probably as good a guess as anything. Missing Link is indeed not scary and not good. By all accounts he was a perfectly nice person, but that will only get you so far! Heenan’s ability to accentuate the positive in all his clients is a rare gift for sure. I’d love for all the young people to be forced to watch Heenan on a daily basis!! Great feed as always man, hope you enjoy this one just as much!

    Merrily we roll along…

    June ‘85
    Match of the Month

    Bobby Heenan vs. David Sammartino
    The Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
    June 29th, WWF Philadelphia

    YOU!! Wait, that’s the other blonde guy.

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    Our match starts around 34:00.

    It’s Heenan vs. David! Heenan takes his time getting to the ring, mic in hand. He claims Patera was supposed to wrestle here but he’s “unavailable”. More on that in a little bit. Heenan says he will show David what it is to be in the ring without his old man. Of course, Heenan makes this work the way he always does, with lots of godly body language, lots of fun stalling, and when they make contact, oh god! The bumping!! David has good strikes, too. He lays a pretty impressive beatdown on Heenan, who tries to hug the ropes and beg off, David has none of it. Heenan uses every possible trick he can think of to get ahead and somehow manages to keep the back and forth going for a while before getting backed into a corner. But Heenan has one more ace up his sleeve, or more literally down his trunks, as he produces a nasty looking foreign object and jabs David in the throat behind the refs back! Looks pretty brutal, actually. Heenan takes the opportunity to wisely vacate the area, and is counted out as David tries to recover.

    So this is essentially the conclusion of the forgotten Heenan/Sammartino feud. I’d much rather it were Bruno and Heenan, but as I’ve said many times David really isn’t bad at all, and with Heenan on the other side how can you go wrong? Heenan matches are truly a joy. I never guessed he’d be anywhere near so entertaining in the ring when I started this series. Heenan takes the beating and the loss, but David doesn’t exactly look strong. That wasn’t really a priority for WWF though, so it is what it is. In terms of the match itself, it’s another clinic by Heenan in sneaky underdog heel tactics, and he’s not working with a total dud like SD or Bellomo this time so what we get is a pure pleasure.

    Awesomeness Rating: ****½

    Of course, we do have to talk about Ken Patera for a moment. In early 1984, while he was still in AWA, Patera allegedly through a rock through a window of a closed McDonald’s after being denied service. The case apparently dragged on for quite a long time, but in the end it came back to bite him in the ass as he was sentenced to 2 years in prison for his actions. We will see him a few more times in June, but by the 29th he was behind bars. An unfortunate way for one of my favorite Family members to exit the group. First Orndorff and now Patera? Don’t leave me alone with Missing Link and Big John Studd, goddammit!

    Segment of the Month
    Bobby Heenan and two other stooges
    June 7th, WWF Tuesday Night Titans

    Vince, looking appropriately like a shoulder devil.

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    Heenan, back on TNT! One of my favorite things. This time we’re starting at about 25:00. We’re on a special swanky set because this is a special episode in Las Vegas, with a much noisier crowd to boot. They sound a little directed, if you know what I mean, but what can you do?

    Heenan is wearing an amazing jacket, even more so than usual. Vince brings up the firing again. Heenan scoffs and claims he was about to fire Orndorff anyway! I love how his story changes almost weekly as he decides how he wants to spin it. Meanwhile, Vince is such a colossal dick about all this, he won’t stop rubbing it in. Ooh, they show a clip we have not seen. Heenan tries to rejoin Orndorff in his first match after the firing, and Orndorff makes him leave! That’s excellent, I can just imagine Heenan reasoning to himself that he’d assume Orndorff regretted his actions and thinking he would save Orndorff the trouble of apologizing, and just act like it didn’t happen. No luck though! We also see some clips of Heenan appearing during Orndorff matches and messing with him. Heenan really has it out for him, and why not? Back in the studio, Studd claims the Family put Orndorff in the Wrestlemania main event out of charity and it should have been him! Heenan claims he showed Orndorff everything he knew, including how to comb his hair and dress himself!! Side note, this audience is getting annoying. The way they react is so blatantly inorganic. Oh well. Vince brings up the weasel thing and Heenan goes to great lengths to show he’s not a weasel!

    We take a break, and when we come back it’s a very special segment. Heenan and Studd have set up a gong and they are going to “interview” (i.e. make fun of) audience members with the help of Jesse Ventura and fellow heel manager, “Luscious” Johnny Valiant. There’s a lot of stuff in this segment, so I’ll just mention a few moments. Ventura asks one guy if New York is filthy, and the guy gets stuck trying to deny it but not knowing how. Ventura interrogates a guy from Ohio who says his favorite wrestler is Richard Belzer. Don’t tell me smarks are a modern thing. Heenan makes fun of a bald guy. Ventura talks to a girl from Las Vegas who says she never gambles, and he says she’ll be struck by lightning for lying. Ventura interviews an Air Force Sergeant and makes fun of him for sucking up to his superiors. Heenan gives up and tells Studd to gong the whole audience! Vince asks the audience for their response and they lay the boos on thick, haha. They even sound like they mean it this time.

    This was unique and really fun. Ventura and Heenan carried the segment, as Valiant didn’t have much to add, but those two together is pretty well guaranteed to be fun. I’ve never seen something quite like the second segment here, I recommend checking it out just for the sheer experience and for some good laughs.

    Heenan Quote of the Day:

    That guy? Oh, he’s not really bald, he’s just got a REALLY wide part!

    The Rest of the Month

    Please feel free to click on the bolded headers to watch along with anything that sounds interesting!

    Heenan, on the location of Orndorff’s brains – 6/1/85 WWF

    Patera thinks about going to prison to distract himself from laughing at whatever the hell Ventura is wearing.

    It’s the Body Shop, with Jesse Ventura. I do appreciate how WWF not only mixes these promo segments up between different hosts, but keeps them short too. These guys say more in 30 seconds than a lot of guys do in 15 minutes now. Ventura questions Heenan about the bounty and Heenan is happy to confirm, and he also threatens to put a bounty on anyone who tries to help Orndorff out! It’s total war! Jesse is thinking about getting that bounty himself, which is just fine with Bobby. Patera still wants it too. Orndorff better watch out.

    Ventura: Is it true? Is there $25,000 on his head?

    Heenan: There’s $25,000 on the TAIL of Paul Orndorff, which is like his head because that’s where his brains are!

    Ken Patera (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Hulk Hogan, WWF Championship – 6/1/85 WWF Championship Wrestling

    Eye of the Tiger!! My god, that Hogan pop. It’s overwhelming. This time both Heenan and Studd are at ringside, to hopefully protect Patera from Hogan’s bullying. Patera and Hogan exchange some solid shots and Patera backs off. Patera has good punches. I’m really gonna miss him. Meanwhile, am I… enjoying Hogan more? Maybe a little? He’s just a little less insufferable in general because the crowd is SO hot for him, which is very different than him indulging himself regardless of whether the crowd buys in or not. Patera is hilarious bumping around, meanwhile. This match must be on fast forward or something though, because we get to the hulk up in seemingly no time at all, but the crowd is nuts for it. Studd gets up on the apron, Hogan goes after him and they fight until the ref throws it out.

    Awesomeness Rating: **

    HOLY SHIT, after the match Heenan is coming at Hulk with scissors!! He’s gonna cut his hair!! HOLY SHIT, Orndorff appears like a house of fire and he FUCKS HEENAN UP!! Hogan and Orndorff fight off the Family back to back! The crowd is absolutely bonkers, and so am I!! The heels flee while Orndorff and Hogan consider this new partnership they’ve formed.

    WOW, that was something. The match wasn’t much but that post match was SO HIGH ENERGY, holy crap. I love how Orndorff allied with this former enemy Hogan in a really organic way. He came out for the sole purpose of attacking Heenan, and found himself working with Hogan almost by accident, and Hogan was in a tough spot so he took a chance and didn’t get stabbed in the back. THAT is how you accomplish a character shift! The crowd absolutely loved Orndorff coming out, so he seems incredibly well positioned for this face run. I hope we still get to see him as the Heenan feud continues. Again, this match is really nothing, it was less obnoxious than their previous bout but also very short, really just a way to get to the Orndorff/Hogan team up to happen. Check out this post match segment, for sure.

    Heenan, on arriba! – 6/8/85 WWF

    Heenan is actually hosting Piper’s Pit!! Piper is on vacation. He’s got Tito Santana on and pointedly brings up his loss of the IC title to Randy Savage. He asks him if he needs money! And suggest he take out Orndorff. Tito pointedly brings up Orndorff firing him! He says he doesn’t need the money and he’s betting Heenan and his guys can’t get the job done. Heenan threatens to put a bounty on Tito as well, but Tito says he’d like to team with Orndorff and take it out of Heenan’s hide! Nice segment with a unique interaction we hadn’t seen before. I like Heenan trying to get faces to buy in on the Orndorff bounty.

    Santana: Arriba!

    Heenan: I’m talking!

    Santana: Arriba!

    Heenan: I’M TALKING, pal!! See, he’s not only dumb, he’s rude!

    Paul Orndorff vs. Barry O – 6/9/85 WWF All American

    Kicking off the show is that man everybody is talking about, Paul Orndorff, taking on Randy Orton’s estranged uncle Barry O. Paul is crazy on fire here, throwing out awesome hip tosses and arm drags and dropkicks and wow, lots of great stuff. Barry bumps around pretty well. Heenan appears at ringside! He’s watching and he’s not impressed. Orndorff is momentarily distracted but then blows up Barry’s head with a great piledriver. Orndorff is more than ready to do it to Heenan too but Heenan doesn’t get in the ring.

    Awesomeness Rating: **¼

    Heenan’s Pit, with the Missing Link – 6/15/85 WWF

    Link’s troubled history with chairs continues.

    Brain is hosting the Pit again! He compliments Bob Orton’s watch. His guest is his own client, the Missing Link, who wanders vacantly around the set. Heenan talks him up as a dangerous man(?) and tries to get him to sit down, but he just keeps wandering around. Link tries to walk off with the chair and starts headbutting it. Did a chair kill this guy’s parents or something? Link groans into the mic to close it off. There’s not much to Link but mercifully Heenan does succeed in injecting a little bit of comedy into the gimmick.

    Link, sit down. Sit down. Sit, sit down. Sit down, sit down, sit down, LINK! …Well, it doesn’t matter if he sits or not.

    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Jose Luis Rivera – 6/21/85 WWF MSG
    Bobby Heenan, Adrian Adonis, & Big John Studd vs. Barry Windham, Mike Rotundo, & George Steele – 6/21/85 WWF MSG

    Link having… some kind of a problem, as Heenan offers a reassuring grope.

    Got Is this the whole Heenan Family on one card? I think that’s a first! Let’s get the Link out of the way by starting around 17:00…

    Link comes out for his match, then wanders back to the locker room. Wandering around is one of this guy’s signature moves! Heenan practically has to drag him to the ring. I honestly wonder if they gave Heenan the Link to manage as a rib. If so I’m sure he passed with flying colors, as he really does make this shtick a little funny, and it could really be bad with the wrong guy trying to pull it off. Meanwhile, Rivera sucker punches the Link! But Link quickly responds with, you guessed it, headbutts. At least Rivera is pretty fun bumping around. Link does a weird bearhug/spinebuster/headbutt… thing. That was unexpected. I should say again in fairness, Link really isn’t the worst guy I’ve seen here by any means. He’s not good, but I was expected absolute dreck. Link keeps beating Rivera up after getting an easy pin. Link almost bashes his head on the ringpost but Heenan forces him away.

    Awesomeness Rating: *¾

    Now this is more like it!! That’s honestly a pretty good line up, potentially. First real look at Adonis too. Jump to about 53:00 for the fun.

    Okerlund says George Steele has been seeing a gynecologist. I… I have no idea what to say about that. That’s not a TNT sketch I feel I need to see. There is some incredibly fun stuff in this between Heenan and George Steele, who certainly has his shtick locked down and is over like rover, as the kid’s say. Heenan does his patented crazy ring escape move, which looks like it should explode both his knees every time, and then he just keeps running! Lots of guys look good in this, actually. Windham looks phenomenal, no surprise there, he’s truly one of the best US guys in this whole era. Adonis seems like a fun personality, at one point Steele takes a bite of Adonis and he flees almost all the way to the back. He’s not yet doing the “gay” gimmick either, just a big guy who moves really well for his weight. He actually reminds me a little of Bray Wyatt in terms of physicality, which is ironic considering Bray’s dad is in this match but is nothing like him.

    Heenan eventually gets back into the action and does one of his awesome corner bumps for Windham, and takes a crazy trip to the floor again. Heenan can’t catch a break either, Steele develops a fascination with him and starts pursuing him all over the place! Adonis sneaks in and hits a sweet DDT, which Monsoon and Okerlund have no idea how to call. Did Roberts officially invent it yet? Things break down! Steele is trying to eat Heenan’s face! Steele gets flustered and pastes the ref with a chair, and it all gets thrown out. The heels flee as Albano tries to calm the Animal down. That was chaotic but extremely fun, I recommend giving it a watch for sure.

    Awesomeness Rating: ****

    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Tony Garea – 6/22/85 WWF Boston
    Big John Studd (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Hulk Hogan, WWF Championship – 6/22/85 WWF Boston

    Nothing to see here… no, really…

    Damn, Boston really got the short end of this weekend. At least as far as Family members go. We start at 41:00.

    My man, Tony Garea! He’s gonna get his butt kicked by a far inferior wrestler, but still. Gorilla theorizes that Link’s hair is weird because he does too many headbutts. Then why doesn’t SD Jones’ head look like that, huh Monsoon?? Link is even more distracted than usual. For some reason Monsoon loses his shit when Link picks up a chair. Calm down there man. Link headbutts the chair. Link steals the ring steps and knocks them over, and headbutts them. This is wrestling. Garea does what he can, laying in those nice forearm shots of his, and bumps around well too. Monsoon claims Heenan left ringside entirely, and I don’t see him so I guess he might be right. Very strange. Link wins with a splash thing off the 2nd ropes. It was what it was. I wonder how Link will find his way back home without Heenan. Or maybe Heenan will be just as happy if he doesn’t come home?

    Awesomeness Rating: *½

    Big John Studd being, just, like, so freaking big, good grief.

    We start again at 1:44:00, with an interview this time.

    It’s the old gang, Heenan and Okerlund. Heenan takes some shots at the Boston Celtics and promises to show the people an actual winner, Studd. Heenan still says he’s never been slammed! Studd says the challenge is really on Hogan to beat him, not vice versa. Not feeling good about your chances, big guy.

    Okerlund: Great to see you, by the way, in the Boston area.

    Heenan: Oh, you know, hey by the way how did the Celtics do this year?

    GO: …well, I think we know…

    BH: Yeah, let ME show the people here at Boston Gardens a winner.
    We move directly on to the title match, and some EYE OF THE TIGER!!! Hogan is bandaged up from something. Gorilla says he recently had 18 stitches, ouch. Sucks if true. Studd slowly works over Hogan’s bandaged head, and Hogan starts bleeding. Studd chucks him face first into some wooden chairs, which is a pretty decent bump. Hogan also takes a big-ish bump from the apron to the concrete floor. They are making some effort, at least! Studd picks Hogan up and actually walks around with him before slamming him, which is actually quite impressive. After a while Hogan fights back and starts cheating his ass off, good grief. He takes a break from cheating to do a very, very, very long, very boring test of strength, and then cheats some more, biting and raking and using a chair from ringside, which Monsoon assures us is completely justified for some reason. Despite some promise at the start, this gets really, really booooring. Studd lays down some lousy offense. Oh my god, the bearhug. I don’t know how Hogan is surviving, I very nearly went to sleep myself. This. Won’t. End. Ouch, Hogan slams Studd on the floor. I think Studd gets counted out. No money for you Hogan, you cheater. A few good things but mostly very boring. Heenan also left ringside immediately so he couldn’t even add anything. I actually think Boston might have some weird regulation because it’s not the first time this has happened in that arena. Boston, get with the damn program!

    Awesomeness Rating: *

    Heenan’s Pit, with Big John Studd – 6/22/85 WWF

    Heenan is guest hosting the Pit one more time, and he’s having his own man on of course. This time it’s Studd, who claims he forced Andre out of wrestling. Studd demands a match with Orndorff! I’d actually like to see that, considering Orndorff is about 20 times better than Hogan in the ring. Heenan is pleased by Studd’s initiative. Studd says Orndorff was an embarrassment to the Family. Heenan taunts Orndorff and any other babyface and urges anyone, even Fabulous Moolah, to take out Orndorff and collect the bounty. Too bad Orndorff’s not a struggling female wrestler, then Moolah could just pimp him out or blackball him.

    Studd: I have a message for you Orndorff, cause I know you’re out there listening to this… if you EVER lay a hand on MY manager Bobby the Brain Heenan, I’m gonna tear your head OFF!

    Heenan: You hear that, Mr Orndorff? And that goes for Hogan, and any of the likes of you, those kinds of human beings that think they can get away with doing something to me… it can‘t be done!!

    Paul Orndorff vs. Mike Moore – 6/23/85 WWF All American
    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Aldo Marino – 6/23/85 WWF All American

    We kick off All American with a very hot Paul Orndorff!! He’s showing off some really nice technical ability against his surly jobber opponent. He’s got so much PEP in his step, dammit! Paul does a Side Russian Legsweep and the commentators don’t even know what to call it. Moore is a pretty big guy actually but Orndorff manhandles him. Moore’s actually not bad either, he puts up a fun fight. He rakes the eyes! Crowd breaks out into a big “weasel” chant, and even though we don’t see him on camera, the commentators confirm Heenan has appeared. Nice piledriver puts Moore away in a really fun semi-squash. Orndorff dares Heenan to come to the ring. We finally see Heenan, who has parked himself at the entrance. He shouts at Orndorff before leaving in disgust. Orndorff is unfazed. I like this feud a lot, it’s very heated and feels unpredictable, as Orndorff could get attacked at any time but refuses to back down.

    Awesomeness Rating: ***

    Our second match is at 8:00, and it’s a lot less interesting.

    Missing Link’s shtick doesn’t really change, he’s still weird and wander-y. Lots of headbutts. Link no sells Aldo’s strikes. He headbutts Aldo down. He can only do headbutts I guess, but he’s still better at them than SD Jones, I can’t deny it. Link wins with ease, obviously. Link continues pin Marino after the match and Heenan has to pull him off to get him out of the ring.

    Awesomeness Rating: *

    Heenan, on Canadian football positions – 6/29/85 WWF Philadelphia

    Basically me, all through this series.

    Our segment occurs at about 1:21:00.

    Kal Rudman is interviewing Bobby Heenan about Studd’s upcoming match with George Wells, who apparently played Canadian football. Heenan makes fun of Wells six ways from Sunday and totally cracks up Rudman. He challenges Wells to try to slam Studd and makes fun of him some more. He predicts championship gold for Studd and disaster for Orndorff in the near future. Another fun promo, and Heenan does not actually join Studd for the match, which is fine with me. I’ve had plenty of Studd for one month.

    Wells is the only man who played three positions in Canada. Two of them were end guard and tackle, he sat at the end of the bench, he guarded the water bucket and he tackled anyone who came near it.

    And so we conclude another month, with a better idea of this new Family. Unfortunately two members are Studd and Missing Link, and they aren’t exactly blowing the doors off with their ability. Adonis seems promising but he’s almost a tertiary Family member at this point, the focus is clearly not on him. Perhaps it is this Family disorganization that has left Orndorff largely unharmed up to this point, as he has held his ground against Heenan’s threat and shown sufficient skill to discourage potential bounty hunters. He’s also seemingly found an unlikely ally in Hogan himself, who has once again stymied Heenan in the title picture as well, having disposed of Studd multiple times and the other top Family contenders now out of the picture. Can Heenan rebound from these setbacks? You bet your ass he can, but the question is when and how. I, for one, can’t wait to see it!

    That’s it for today, humanoids. I’ll be back soon with the next entry, until then don’t let the ham-and-eggers get you down, and stay awesome!

  2. #42
    Hey man, your opinions on each of these wrestlers really give this thing life. I really liked the work of Windham and Rotundo as a team in Florida and WWF back then. Adonis in both his gimmicks was a real force in my opinion. Real snug, tough heel. I remember watching an old VHS of Hogan slamming Studd on the floor, seemed iconic back then, knowing Studd's gimmick of not being slammed. But yeah I probably wouldn't want to see that one now. Studd reminds me some of Braun, except Studd is a little more into himself. Reading about Hogan, Orndorf, and Heenen reminds me of how lucky Hogan was to have a great supporting cast and meaningful stories.

    "Orndorff is pile drived and momentarily distracted as Barry blows up with great head ." This was originally how Pat Patterson planned this to go down, but apparently Barry O refused, though we all know what the O stands for in his last name.

    Good read, my man. I really liked this time in WWF, even though it was before my fandom. It still hadn't gotten too cartoony yet.

  3. #43
    The Brain
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Benny Butts – Good to hear from you man! One of my biggest goals is to make sure this isn’t too dry, so I’m glad it’s working out that way. I am a crazy huge fan of Windham in general, his team with Rotundo was a bit of a blank spot for me but it’s cool to see a little bit of them now. I love some love for Adonis, he’s gained a tremendous amount of ground in my mind through the series. He’s a lot more than that guy who worked a super uncomfortable gay gimmick that one time. Braun would eat Studd’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner if it came to it, but yeah there is some physical similarity there. Hogan had HUGE help from those around him in getting to the point he got, lucky for him he was at the top of WWF’s movement to steal all the readymade top guys from across the country. Unbelievable how stacked the company is at times, and they don’t even care that much about the in ring product!

    I’m dying at that line. I legitimately thought I typed that for a second as I rewrote that line a couple times. Barry O indeed!

    It’s so true that WWF is really not cartoonish at all yet, besides guys like Missing Link anyway. It’s way closer to NWA now than it would be 10 years later with clowns and pirates and garbage men. Not that you’d ever confuse the two, but still it feels very “legitimate” a lot of the time, as far as that goes. Love hearing from you, when did you start watching anyway? We’ll probably start getting to your childhood memories at some point in this series!

    And now, back to the show…

    July ‘85
    Segment(s) of the Month

    Bobby Heenan and the quest for Randy Savage
    July 6th, WWF Championship Wrestling

    The stars are all coming out!

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    It’s time for Randy Savage! Awesome news, in my book. Vince says this is Savage’s debut, and he’s taking on Aldo Marino. Thinking this might not be your night, Aldo. As the match gets started, in a super cool moment just about every manager in the company appears at ringside. We’ve got Heenan, Mr Fuji, Freddie Blassie, Jimmy Hart, and Johnny Valiant. I feel compelled to mention it’s the weasel chants that start up when they appear! Less than a year in the company and already essentially the top heel. God, this man is awesome.

    Meanwhile, Savage is just picking apart Marino, and showing off for the managers who are very appreciative and excited about the prospect of him as a company. He not only hits that great elbow drop, but he hits two just because he can. What a man! The managers rush to congratulate Savage and schmooze with him. Savage is so pleased with himself that he beats up Marino some more after the match!

    This is part one of a storyline that seems like it will be incredibly fun. Managers competing over a client is a fantastic story as it provides some unique interactions and instantly skyrockets the stock of the talent. WWF really started off on the right foot here, can’t wait to see what they’ve got. Meanwhile, the squash itself was perfectly fun and a very nice introduction to Savage.

    Awesomeness Rating: **¼

    Segment(s) of the Month
    Bobby Heenan and the quest for Randy Savage
    July 19th, WWF Tuesday Night Titans

    Hey, I’d bid on him.

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    We start at about 26:00.

    In this WONDERFUL segment, Bobby Heenan, Freddie Blassie, and Jimmy Hart have come to TNT to try to procure Savage as a client. Heenan says he’s the most sought after manager and Blassie and Hart laugh at him because Orndorff fired him. Heenan blows off Jimmy and makes fun of Blassie’s men, Sheik & Volkoff, for losing the tag titles. Heenan says he will make Savage rich, shopping every day in Beverly Hills. He wants to sign him before anyone else gets to speak! Jimmy Hart won’t be passed over though, he says he can save Savage money because he’s very cheap!! Jimmy wants him to come shop at K-Mart!! Ok, that was honestly hilarious. Points to you, Jimmy Hart. Heenan makes fun of him and Savage likes Heenan’s sense of humor! Blassie says he’ll make Savage a champion and flashes some cash at him. Heenan says he can get him a credit card instead of cash, haha! Savage shows off his physique for the managers. Blassie says he’ll outbid anybody and says he won’t take any payment until Savage is world champion!!! Heenan presses his card into Savage’s hand, but Savage doesn’t make a decision just yet.

    This was a PHENOMENAL segment, you simply MUST watch it. WWF couched a tremendous amount of talent in their manager’s division, but they rarely got to interact because they were almost all heels. This is a fantastic exception to that rule, and it makes you wish they had way more segments like this. Every manager brought something distinct to the table and showed a ton of charisma in their own way. Obviously we know who Savage ends up with, but the idea of him with any of these guys, especially Heenan, is truly awesome to think of. Why couldn’t Savage have a valet AND a manager? Anyway, WATCH THIS SEGMENT!!

    Heenan Quote of the Day:

    Heenan: Savage, do you wanna go shopping in Beverly Hills, or do you wanna go to K-Mart for the Blue Light Special?

    Jimmy Hart: Go to K-Mart! Save your money, baby!

    Segment(s) of the Month
    Bobby Heenan and the quest for Randy Savage
    July 30th, WWF

    The Big Four (and Johnny Valiant)

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    After a month of build, the big moment is finally here! Savage has gathered the five biggest heel managers in the company in the ring, and it’s quite a line up. I make fun of Johnny V but even he has something to offer. Savage goes down the line and thanks Fuji for his deviousness, Heenan for his wisdom and teachings, Valiant for his training thoughts, Blassie for showing him visions of wealth, and… well Jimmy Hart just freaks him out, haha. Savage says only one person can manage the height of Macho Madness, and calls this a “big moment”. He’s not wrong! He brings out a figure who would become synonymous with his career, the first lady of wrestling, Miss Elizabeth! The commentators are suitable impressed and in fact quite taken with her right off the bat. Jimmy Hart tries to hold the ropes open for her, and Savage won’t let him! That’s a great clue to how their relationship will develop. Meanwhile, Heenan isn’t even mad, he just admires Elizabeth. One of the key parts of Savage’s act is now in place, and I can’t wait to see more of the guy.

    Can I just say, what a great 1 month angle this was? I included the three main parts, and each one of them hit it out of the park. Savage would have impressed regardless because he’s just that good and stands out by a mile in the landscape of the WWF, but this made him out to be a huge deal from day 1 and set up him up with a money character and storyline to play off of for years to come. I still can’t help but dream about a Heenan Family with Savage as the crown jewel, but of course what we do end up getting is nearly as good. Great stuff here, just great.

    Match of the Month
    Adrian Adonis (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Jose Luis Rivera
    Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
    July 13th, WWF MSG

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    We start right around 38:00.

    Our first real look at Adonis in a singles setting! I’ve been looking forward to this. Adrian is dressed in a lot of leather as he comes in, but he’s not yet doing the full on gay gimmick. He also has a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. The commentators theorize that it holds the Orndorff bounty money, which is a pretty nice touch if so.

    We get into the match, which is much more competitive than a regular TV match since they like to give these guys room to breathe on these arena shows like MSG. Adonis immediately shows himself to be extremely slick, not only does he move fantastically for a big guy, but he’s also extremely technical in a way you don’t see much of in the WWF of this era. As the match rolls on, Heenan invades the commentary booth and basically interviews himself to put over Adonis and the Family!! Awesome. The match is a little slow in places, but for the most part Adonis is really impressing me. He’s got some unique offense, including another very nice DDT, which is referred to as a “brainbuster” on commentary. Adonis methodically pulverizes Rivera until he makes a comeback attempt. They work a nice hope spot before Adonis throws all his weight on the guy to smoosh him back down. NICE looking bulldog/elbow drop thing from Adonis, before he slaps on an interesting sleeper variation and makes Rivera pass.

    As usual in months where Heenan doesn’t wrestle on TV, it was a little tricky to find something really good to feature here. However, I’m pretty happy with this selection. The finish was never in doubt but, like many of the jobbers of this era, Rivera has got plenty of skill and working together they put on something quite enjoyable here. If you’ve never seen Adonis before or only think of him in a bad light, then I recommend checking this out to see a really nice selection of the stuff he could do.

    Awesomeness Rating: ***¼

    The Rest of the Month

    Please feel free to click on the bolded headers to watch along with anything that sounds interesting!

    Heenan visits Parts Unknown! – 7/5/85 WWF TNT

    Parts Unknown. No, really.

    We start at about 25:00.

    Heenan is back on TNT! They sure love to have him on, and with very good cause.

    For some reason a graphic of Ken Patera is on the “up next” advertisement. Patera is now long gone, but Vince talks about him anyway like he was still around. Heenan comes out to boos. Vince gets the band to play “Pop Goes the Weasel” and Alfred Hayes thinks it’s the funniest damn thing he’s ever seen in his whole life. Babyface Vince is still a low key asshole. Heenan says Vince is a troublemaker, and how! They show a clip of Patera massacring some dope while the crowd chants “Orndorff”. Heenan applauds Patera’s skills and says it’s only blind luck that Orndorff is not yet put on the shelf. He wonders if he should put a bounty on the band. He’s really on tonight! This is another one I highly recommend checking out. Heenan talks up the Missing Link and says he “doesn’t need skills”, HAHAHA. Heenan insists he can control Link. They watch a clip of Heenan failing to control Link, and Heenan admits even he sometimes has a little trouble, but says no one can be prepared to face the Link because he’s so unpredictable. Vince claims they have simulated Link’s hometown. We are going to Parts Unknown!!! Guys, I love TNT so much.

    Holy shit, Parts Unknown is a big cheesy looking cave with something roasting over a fake fire. I feel like we’ve stepped onto a real life Scooby Doo set. This has got to be where the Dungeon of Doom set up shop years later. Vince tries to interview Link and asks him how much he pays Heenan. Heenan claims one of his jobs is to “turn his meat” and claims he eats barn owls!!! Vince tries to ask Link about the color of his face but he gets freaked out about a microphone in his face and retreats deeper into the cave. That was tremendously silly and fun.

    They go back to the studio and Vince says next week Ventura will host the program, and Ventura appears to kick Vince out of his desk. They are arguing about whether Ventura wants to steal Vince’s pencil or not, when Heenan appears with a flashlight. He can’t find the Link! As credits roll he hilariously starts turning over furniture and such. TNT is the best thing every you guys.

    Heenan: Oh, so they just all happened to know how to play “Pop Goes the Weasel” all at once?

    McMahon: Well, I think any 5 year old knows how to play “Pop Goes the Weasel”.

    Heenan: I’m not 5, and I don’t know how to play it!

    Heenan, on having fun at parties – 7/7/85 WWF All American

    High five?

    We’ve got Heenan at about 37:00!

    Heenan is backstage, and takes some time to make fun of the interviewer. He was doing it long before the Rock, and dare I say he did it better? He puts over his guys, and also mentions a newly arrived Terry Funk! He makes fun of some of the faces, and then promises a Heenan Family member will be champion by the end of the year! Mostly good for the comedy, some very good lines there. Quick promo that goes down easy!

    You slap around the Missing Link, he’s gonna LIKE that, now he’s a fun guy at parties. He’s like you at a party, but you’re probably the kind of guy who hangs around the room with the coats and memorizes the labels.

    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Rick McGraw – 7/13/85 WWF MSG


    We jump in at about 17:00.

    Link has a serious chair fetish, I don’t know what it is. He’s fascinated by them, or he hates them, or something? He sure can’t leave them alone, that’s for sure. McGraw actually comes after Link here with some good strikes! He’s actually getting offense! Ohhh, but Link blasts him with a headbutt. To his credit, McGraw is a good bumper too. Link wins with headbutts, of course. Link headbutts a chair like mad after the match. Link wants to bash his head on the ringpost. Monsoon says LET HIM DO IT, which is pretty damn cold, Gorilla.

    Awesomeness Rating: *¾

    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Jim Young – 7/13/85 WWF Championship Wrestling

    Missing Link, as confused as anyone about why he is being featured so prominently.

    I would complain about having to watch so many Link matches, but in all honestly they are often better than the Studd matches I had to watch before, so I’m just going to count this as a win. Vince tells us not to adjust our sets when looking at the Link. Thanks Vince. Link wins a very short squash with ease, before I even have time to write a comment about how Jim Young looks like Kenny Omega’s estranged father. The fans chant “weasel”. Link beats the guy up a bit more after the match. Vince says Heenan is a favorite for manager of the year! Damn straight, Vince.

    Awesomeness Rating: *

    Adrian Adonis (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Gary Starr – 7/20/85 WWF Championship Wrestling

    The Brain makes a mental note to not be around when that collar explodes from too much neck fat.

    Adonis still has the briefcase on his wrist, but now it says “Relax with Trudi” on the side, so… maybe it isn’t the money? No official explanation is forthcoming just yet, so we’ll see. Heenan helps him remove all his entrance gear, including the briefcase, and we are ready to go. Adonis has this move he does at the start of every match so far, a cool looking leg takedown that I really dig. Adonis is pretty amped up, maybe because he has less time to work in this TV setting. He knocks the guy around a bit and locks him in his sleeper, which is called “The Big Apple”, I think because he’s supposed to be like a New York degenerate or something? It’s over pretty quick but Adonis’ fun offense makes it work well.

    Awesomeness Rating: **

    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Salvatore Bellomo – 7/27/85 WWF Philadelphia
    Big John Studd (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. George Steele – 7/27/85 WWF Philadelphia


    Double helping of Heenan. Our first course starts at about 26:00.

    I really don’t understand how Bellomo shows up about 10 years later as a centerpiece of very, very, very early ECW. He’s not even good in ’85, which is ostensibly his prime. Anyway, he’s here to fight the Missing Link, and Philly already hates him, because by god this town was never not smark central. If they had held Frank Gotch vs. Georg Hackenschmidt in 1911 in Philly, they probably would have cheered the evil German. Or maybe they are just aware that Bellomo sucks. We do get a nice round of weasel chants, so that’s all good. The bell rings and Link jumps out of the ring immediately and grabs a chair! Heenan wants to stop him and Link thinks about headbutting him for revenge! Heenan tells Link to get going, and he tries to walk into the crowd, which I admit is pretty funny. Finally we get to it, and I immediately wish we hadn’t as Bellomo lays on some pretty shitty strikes. Link works over Bellomo’s… knee, with his head? God this is a weird gimmick. Yeah, Bellomo is pretty bad, and Link mercifully wins. Not good.

    Awesomeness Rating: ¾*

    Our next dose of Heenan is at 1:36:00, but it doesn’t look too promising. Studd vs. Steele, oh boy.

    The ring announcer almost announces Heenan as “The Weasel”, and Heenan is so mad he almost hits him! Steele is running without his manager, Captain Lou Albano, tonight. Too bad, some shtick between him and Heenan might have really lightened this up. Steele is a very hairy man. Heenan counsels Studd to let the ref handle Steele if he tries to go crazy. Steele threatens Heenan so Studd can get a cheap shot in, but Steele bites Studd. Big weasel chants. Steele’s flails around weirdly and eats a turnbuckle. This is wrestling? Steele ignores all the rules but I guess it’s ok, because his character is, what, too dumb to know the rules? I actually don’t have a problem with Steele or his shtick, but this is the blind leading the blind, neither of these guys came to work worth a damn. Heenan puts this match out of it’s misery when Steele goes for a slam, rushing the ring and attacking Steele. Heenan throws turnbuckle stuffing at Steele before the heels retreat. Weird match, and not in a good way. Philly definitely got screwed over as far as Family matches go.

    Awesomeness Rating: ½*

    Heenan & Adonis, on Piper’s Pit – 7/27/85 WWF

    Adonis, not yet “gay” but definitely thinking about the Village People.

    Piper is back in the Pit and he’s waiting for Heenan. He mentions Orndorff is wrestling later on the card and the crowd pops HUGE. Wow, Orndorff is so crazy over as part of this feud. If WWE had someone as good as Heenan for Roman Reigns to turn on, they’d probably have the new Hulk Hogan on their hands. Heenan and Adonis appear! Heenan explains they have a separate case for the bounty money, and Adonis says his case is a “secret”. Hm well then. Piper is very titillated by this secret. Adonis is a good talker, by the way, on top of everything. He’s quickly reinforced my instinct that he is by far the best guy in the Family now that Orndorff and Patera are out. Adonis says everyone misunderstands him and always tries to take advantage of him, possibly hinting at the upcoming “gay” gimmick. He puts over Heenan as a great manager. Piper, for his part, hints he may want to collect that bounty money tonight. I don’t think he succeeded, but I love that these teases are still out there!

    So, in July, Heenan didn’t have a major focus, mainly working to establish his newer clients in Link and Adonis and rebuild the Family, while continuing to scout new prospects like Randy Savage. Perhaps he was relying on getting Savage in the fold to go after Orndorff and Hogan again, perhaps not. Either way, he’s back to square one, as I doubt Link or even Adonis will have a real shot at either of those two heavy hitters. Heenan is clearly in need of a new ace in the hole, but where will he find out? I have a feeling we are going to find out soon…

    That’s it for today, humanoids. I’ll be back soon with the next entry, until then don’t let the ham-and-eggers get you down, and stay awesome!

  4. #44
    Weed General D.O.N's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Hey, man. Been really strapped for time lately so I haven't been feeding like I usually do. But don't mistake that for me not following along. His series has Ben tremendous and you are involved in two of my frontrunners for series of the year. Absolutely brilliant work with this Mizzie!

  5. #45
    What else is on? JSR-13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Higher Definition
    Wait- how in the world did I fall so far behind so quickly? You musta snuck in some entries when I wasn't looking!

    Conclusion to Heenan/Sammartino: it's funny- I now think that David may have benefited from WWE's modern approach of changing famous last names and somewhat ignoring generational ties. I agree that David wasn't bad at all, but man looking at what dad accomplished, the boy had a major hill to climb.

    Heenan on Orndoff: Classic heel/Heenan stuff saying he was going to fire him anyway. There's that range on display once again, as he was JUST shown being furious over the firing not too long ago.

    In all the awesomeness that is Heenan, am I allowed to throw praise in the direction of the Fink, who is always "thrilled" to be introducing Heenan and his charges? "Introducing first... the... manager... Bobby... the Brain... Heenan... and ... Big John Studd." Almost forgot how great the Fink was with his announcing that just added so much to the product without us realizing it.

    I dunno man... I think it may have been the hotness of the crowd that convinced you that Hogan was doing something spectacular. Looked like the same old stuff in that Patera match. But old Ken was selling like a rep at a cable company for Hulk, so that helped as well.

    LOL- Monsoon Logic: headbutts causing male pattern baldness. Mystery solved.

    Surprised to see how good of a promo guy Adonis was. I always heard that he was much better than the gay fat guy gimmick WWE gave him.

    Still got some catching up to do, but as long as you don't keep sneaking in entries behind my back, I should be good!
    Don't Touch That Dial!

  6. #46
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Managers hold a special place in my heart, maybe it's because I've had the chance to watch my buddy become one on the indy scene, and I know how hard he's worked at it. Maybe it's just because I think that a good manager really adds to the presentation of their client in a special way. I don't know, but I really miss this era. The idea of managers trying to line up to land Savage sounds like a tremendous thing, it's part of what was missing from the "Superstar Shakeup" recently with WWE. There was no transparency, there was no, this guy was traded for this guy. There was no "he wanted this, but we countered with this". All of that is important, and it makes the stars feel like a bigger deal.

    Hell, just look at the difference that having Maryse has made for The Miz. Now I'll freely admit that the leap he's taken recently has been him going out on more limbs and making more things happen, but at the end of the day, having her by his side gave him an air of credibility that was missing. And Maryse isn't even a great manager. Look at Heyman and Lesnar, they're synonymous with one another. You're telling me that American Alpha couldn't benefit from a mouthpiece? The fact is that managers when deployed properly make their charges feel more important, and it's sorely missing these days.

    It also amazes me how different the climate is in terms of political correctness even just 30 years ago. Some of the things Heenan says about Santana would have him legit suspended nowadays.
    Read my latest. That's not a request.


  7. #47
    I did not grow up on 80's WWF but in the 90's and watched coliseum home videos and traded for videos before the You tube revolution. I've seen the videos with Savage and the managers. Bobby really stole the show there and there was some stiff competetion. Fred Blassie was nothing to sneeze at. Adonis and Piper may have been better if it was pre-gay gimmick when they fought. Though, Adonis did alright as a fat old lady. Adonis could talk. I'd like to watch more of him and Ventura as an AWA team on a rainy day. Well on the mic anyway. Jesse sucked so badly in the ring in comparison to his former partner. I feel for Bobby Heenan keeping track of the missing link. I've had to manage some real morons on the job, ya know the kind of people who walk into the crowd and do weird shit with chairs.

    “Bobby claims one of his jobs is to ‘beat his meat’”

    Hope he got paid well for that. Good series, my man. Great idea, too!

  8. #48
    What else is on? JSR-13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Higher Definition
    HA! Caught up before you got to sneak some more in!

    I watched the Orndoff match and saw a LOT of Bobby Roode in him. I think this is my first time seeing someone in the 80's keep his heel edge as a face, because he was very aggressive in that match.

    Also took time to view the "Parts Unknown" video and my goodness, I was laughing as soon as Heenan appeared. I love how he dissed Alfred before he sat down. His body language alone cuts better promos than most people do verbally. The Missing Link stuff was weird though. Sorry, Brain. Not even YOU can help Missing Link be any more interesting. "He doesn't need skills?" I knew it! I'm going to harass Eva Marie on twitter into letting me manage her. "She doesn't need talent!"

    As always, Mizzie- this is some amazing work. It just doesn't get any better than "vintage" Heenan.
    Don't Touch That Dial!

  9. #49
    The Brain
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Donny – No worries my man, glad you’re able to keep reading!

    Mr Thirteen – Honestly David would have probably been better off hiding his last name from Vince, who was keen to distance himself from their recent past as a mere territory. I think Hogan doing something “spectacular” is a pretty generous reading of what I said. I still think he’s more palatable in some of these matches than he is in most other eras, when he’s not acting like an enormous bully at least. I’m quickly becoming a fan of Adonis myself. No promises about sneaking in entries, I’m hoping to up the pace on this in the near future! Great feedback as always man, appreciate it.

    Ray – Managers are special to me as well! They really are just so awesome. Imagine Heenan running around the WWF offices trying to make deals for his guys to be sent to the same brand as him or something. Could be amazing. And yes, Heenan is not at all afraid to include the stereotypes of the day to get more heat. At least we can say with confidence that he’s only playing the heel, because he spins around and praises a guy to the heavens if they turn heel regardless of race or creed! Thanks for stopping by, always great to have you.

    Benny Butts – You could have fooled me man, I would have bought it if you told me you were a Backlund era guy after that latest LU column. Trading tapes is a world I never got to know, I can only imagine. Freddie Blassie is INDEED nothing to sneeze at! And amen to Ventura sucking ass in the ring, to the point that it’s shocking compared to how good a wrestling mind he obviously had on commentary. Thanks for the feed man, always appreciated.

    Mr Fourteen – Glad to have you caught up! I actually completely agree on the Orndorff/Roode comparison, and it’s not just their taste in robes. Glad you checked out the Parts Unknown vid, that one was particularly hilarious to me. I will now always imagine any guy billed from there squatting in the cave with Missing Link. Thanks for the double feed, awesome stuff!

    August ‘85
    Match of the Month

    Big John Studd (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Andre the Giant
    Maple Leaf Garden, Toronto, Canada
    August 18th, WWF Maple Leaf

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    Our match starts right around 39:00.

    You read that right, the ‘Mania match that I panned the shit out of is now the Match of the Month. Was it just a very slow month? Or did they actually deliver this time? Let’s find out together!

    Andre is back! After a three month break from the ring, Andre has recently made his return. The crowd is pumped to see him, but you know they still make time for a big weasel chant. Andre has some great expressions here, it’s an underrated aspect of his game. Dude really knew what to do with himself, if you take my meaning. Andre is ready to exact a little more vengeance on the men who shaved him!

    And MAN did that time out of the ring do him some good! Andre is looking FAR more energetic here than he did at ‘Mania. So does Studd for that matter, though I have no idea what his excuse is. Studd gets a chance to do some fun heel stuff that he normally can’t, like begging off when he gets overpowered. Andre is really going at him here, laying in with some nice looking chops and pulling at the hair, because you just know he hasn’t forgotten about that. In a wonderful moment, Studd tries to pull Andre’s hair but it’s too short!! Poetic justice at its finest!

    God, Andre really knows what to do with his weight. Think about how “big” he feels compared to, say, Big Show. They really aren’t that different in actual size, but Andre feels so much bigger because of the way he carries himself. Andre is really dominating this one, to the point where Studd has to bail to the (raised!) ramp. Heenan flashes some covert hand signals to Studd, which is a funny little touch. Studd regroups and comes in with some huge elbow shots, and I’m just jaw on the floor shocked at how much better this is than the ‘Mania match. They even end up down on the mat at one oing and do some honest to god technical wrestling!!! What is this??? It’s weird but I totally dig it! So bizarre but I like it?

    Just when I think the match is done shocking me, everything goes to hell! Heenan jumps up on the apron and gives Studd a pair of scissors! Holy shit, what are they planning to cut off this time? Andre blocks Studd’s attack and bites his arm!! Heenan tries to rush in and get his hands on the scissors but Andre knocks the stuffing out of him! ANDRE SLAMS STUDD AS THE CROWD GOES NUTS!!! Andre grabs the scissors!! He’s closing in! KING KONG BUNDY APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE!!! He clobbers Andre!!! The match is long forgotten at this point. Studd tackles Andre and holds him down as Bundy starts splashing him over and over again!! This is awesome!!! Heenan shows off his vindictive side as he Irish whips Bundy to give him more momentum on his splashes! There’s no way Heenan can make a difference but he just feels the need to do something physical, I love it.

    Eventually a bunch of midcarders appear to save Andre, and holy shit Bundy and Studd start beating the shit out of them too!! Only for a little while though, then the big men fight their way to the ramp and head for the back.

    Holy shit, that was AWESOME. Not only was the match seriously excellent, far beyond what I thought these guys were capable of at this point in their careers, but that post match segment was legitimately amazing. Bundy joins the Family!! This is the ace in the hole Heenan has been looking for! Absolutely amazing storytelling. Andre is able to get back to his feet at long last but he is selling like a goddam champion, he looks like he can barely move without feeling pain. Check this out in full, you will NOT regret it!

    Awesomeness Rating: ****

    Segment of the Month
    Bobby Heenan on iconography
    August ‘85, WWF

    If you want to watch along, you can do so here:

    I’m not sure how much later this is after that last segment, but I think it’s not too long. We see clips of the match and the attack, and then we cut to post attack interviews. Andre is first, and though he’s in a lot of pain he’s still promising to come back and get a fresh round of revenge on Heenan and his men. At least I think that’s what he’s saying? Jesus, he is hard to understand. He’s going to recruit Lou Albano to his team to help deal with Heenan.

    Switch to Okerlund and Heenan. Heenan is in top form, swearing he only brought the scissors as a “symbol of victory” and it was Andre who went crazy and lost all regard for the rules. He claims Andre never slammed Studd, just hip tossed him. Amazing. Heenan brings in Bundy and they have a newspaper article with a picture of Bundy splashing Andre, which they are very proud of. Okerlund objects to their version of the story and Heenan threatens him. They insist on their honesty and laugh about what happened to Andre. Totally fun promo and you can feel the confidence has just seeped back into Heenan now that he has a fresh monster in his back pocket. I am optimistic for Bundy to at least be better than Studd in the ring, and he showed himself to be a perfectly solid promo here. I’m excited about this upgrade to the Family, I want to see more!

    Heenan Quote of the Day:

    Heenan: I jumped on the apron, took a pair of scissors out of my pocket, JUST as a symbol of victory! Just waived them in the air and showed them to Studd!

    Okerlund: Just as a symbol???

    Heenan: OF VICTORY, yes!

    The Rest of the Month

    Please feel free to click on the bolded headers to watch along with anything that sounds interesting!

    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Jimmy Londos – 8/3/85 WWF Championship Wrestling

    Don’t you give me that green faced look, mister!

    Bah, and of course I’ve got to go back for more Missing Link after that Bundy high. Ah well, at least it’s a TV squash. Heenan has trouble getting Link to the ring again. Londos tries to knock him down with dropkicks, Link throws him into the corner and HOLY SHIT THE ENTIRE TOP ROPE COLLAPSES!! Seriously, holy shit!! Almost as amazingly, Vince barely sells this on commentary, merely comments that Link is “strong”. Holy jesus, Link starts beating Londos to death with the pieces of the turnbuckle. Vince ignores this literal murder while he talks to Hillbilly Jim on commentary. Vince, you hillbilly loving jerk. Link wins and Vince barely notices, jeez. Link is still trying to murder Londos with the loose ropes after the match. I must admit, I did not expect to find the template to the famous Cena/Umaga match on a random ’85 episode of Championship Wrestling. The camera lingers on a fan in a clown wig who makes faces. Link picks up the wooden ring steps and headbutts it until it actually dents, jesus god. You may want to watch this for the sheer insanity of it, although the action itself is still pretty poor.

    Awesomeness Rating: *¼

    Adrian Adonis, Big John Studd, & The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Tony Garea, Joe Mirto, & Matt Samson – 8/10/85 WWF Championship Wrestling

    All that talent and Heenan’s stuck babysitting this guy.

    Hey, the Family is all here! That’s kind of cool, even if it’s far from the best line up they’ve ever fielded. Heenan does the briefcase gimmick with Adonis, and we still don’t know for sure what’s in there. Vince questions teaming Link with anyone, which is fair, but how would you know Vince, you’re too busy talking to hillbillies! We get to the action and once again I am impressed a lot by Tony Garea, who busts out a great running dropkick in the early going. A big weasel chant goes out as Adonis and Garea show themselves to be the clear standouts of the match. Adonis and Studd work together and hint they may actually have a bit of chemistry on top of that. Before long it’s mostly about pulverizing the jobbers in fun ways, but I actually quite enjoy that when it’s done well, and it’s done pretty well here. Studd does a crazy backbreaker submission I’ve never seen him do before and the scrub gives up. Studd holds on a bit while Adonis punches the jobber while he’s upside down! Now I almost want to see an Adonis/Studd team do the rounds for a while. We shall see. Lots of fun here, I recommend it much more than most of these squashes.

    Awesomeness Rating: ***¼

    The Missing Link (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Tony Garea – 8/10/85 WWF MSG
    Big John Studd (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Uncle Elmer – 8/10/85 WWF MSG

    If you pick up another chair, so help me…

    We start at about 35:00.

    Gorilla and Lord Alfred pity Tony Garea. I believe in him! Naturally, the weasel chants come out to play. Garea is a great seller, but also a great striker and he’s giving this his best. Garea gets some offense and Link seems lost! He’s reaching out for Heenan’s help! Garea is really twisting him around, and Link is actually selling a lot, which shocks the commentators. Sadly, Link comes back with two moves and wins. Link looks unhappy that he got beat up. Link looks like he wants to take out Heenan! Heenan barely shouts him down. One of the better Link matches, as far as that goes.

    Awesomeness Rating: **½

    There was real love in the Heenan Family.

    Next we jump to about 50:00.

    Oh god. Why did it have to be Uncle Elmer. Apparently Hillbilly Jim was injured so he is managing his hillbilly relative Elmer for a while. Studd kicks Elmer as he very fatly rolls around the ring. Elmer wrestles like a barrel of molasses. This is awful. Elmer makes a short, terrible comeback, and Heenan puts the match out of its misery with a run in. Thank you, Heenan! Jim jumps in and all four guys brawl. Heenan tries valiantly to bump and sell for Elmer, but there’s only so much you can do. The heels bail in the end and the hillbillies dance to hick music. They are square dancing. Alfred Hayes loses his fucking mind over this. Maybe Ray was right to hate that guy.

    Awesomeness Rating: ½*

    So obviously the big news is BUNDY is now on the scene with Heenan! That’s a partnership that will go a long ways, and I’m excited to see it. Obviously Andre is now on the backfoot, and I can only imagine Hogan and Orndroff will have to watch their backs as well. Can’t wait to see what comes next!

    That’s it for today, humanoids. I’ll be back soon with the next entry, until then don’t let the ham-and-eggers get you down, and stay awesome!

  10. #50
    Sometimes, I hear Hogan speak on podcasts like he didn't have a good cast, back then, like he carried everything. Orndorf, Heenen, Adonis, and Bundy and the stories they were given gave Hogan such life. This really hi-lights the team back then. The announcers; Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Mean Gene, Jesse the Body. Jesus fucking Christ that's a lot of color. Ya know, of all the things to write about Andre, you really nailed it on his expression. I never consciously thought about how damn good they are but after I read that, I could see anger, the squinting, the laughing. He was such a fucking monster and a character. Andre was really able to enhance guys like Studd, Heenen, Patera, and never lose. These years were the ones to really make the Wrestle-Mania 3 main event special. Long live Tony Garea, a real Madison Square Garden guy. To bad he couldn't snag the IC title just once. Guys like Garea, ya Hogan had help. Good read, man. What a colorful but not yet too cartoony time.

  11. #51
    Want some AIDS? SkitZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Your analysis of Studd/Elmer was great, homie. Something about the term "fatly rolls around the ring" makes me laugh. That's when it helps to have a manager like Heenan step in and prevent the crowd from completely losing all interest. You were generous to give that match any stars!

  12. #52
    Weed General D.O.N's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    I didn't check out the 'Mania match, but I checked out this one between Andre and Studd. I must admit, I quite enjoyed it for a super heavyweight match. Not Show/Braun levels of enjoyment, but thoroughly enjoyed. I never thought I could truly enjoy a super heavyweight bout, but then Show/Braun proved me wrong. And this Andre/Studd showed me that it was not a fluke. Still surprised that they didn't work like this at 'Mania, but I digress.

    Ha! I LOVED how Heenan spun the story of Studd not slamming Stud. That was awesome. Hiptoss? Really? I wish he was my manager! I wonder how he would spin all the shit I caught on...

    P.S. - The Missing Link annoys THE SHIT out of me!

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