Oh my god, this was brilliant. Sensational. Took me until "'Shut the fuck up!' Clap clap clap clap clap..." to get what you were going for, but I legitimately had an "Ohhhhh!" of revelation, and I loved it. I kinda wish I had got it straight from deducing the acronym of your company, but that's neither here nor there...
This reminded me a bit of an entry Mavsman put forth in last year's CSI tournament entitled "Cynical Fallacies", and that column got my vote for Standard Column of the Year, so take the comparison at high praise, man. I sincerely hope that everyone reading this column gets it, because there were a few that didn't get Mavsman's brilliant point in the column I alluded to, and that was unfortunate. (I hope I'm not sounding too cocky by saying I get it, I promise I'm no hero! mizfan had a column months ago that made a subtle point that everyone and their dog got, but it went completely over my head).
Pardon my rambling. This deserves a lot of credit, Sidg, especially if you were shitting yourself preparing, as you mentioned in Oli's column. Gave a refreshingly unique look at something many of us have probably been guilty of neglecting while we sit in the stands and chant, "BO-RING" or "Shut the fuck up!", and that's how handcuffed many of the talents can be at times. Sometimes it's almost damned if they do, and damned if they don't. Your take on "The Williamson Williams and Ecclestone" versus "Williamson Williams and Ecclestone" was pretty humorous while making a great point, too. I'm guilty of plopping the word "the" in front of something that doesn't need a "the" occasionally - more out of habit than anything! I make a conscious effort not to say the phrase "PIN number", though...what do people think the N stands for?
The only thing that I wasn't a huge fan of was the lack of spacing, structurally speaking. If it was me, I would have entered spaces between each piece of dialogue. I know that going for a new paragraph every time there's a change in dialogue (especially when a column such as this is full of dialogue) will stretch the height, for lack of a better word, of your column, but I think it's aesthetically advantageous. Minor complaint, though.
But seriously, man...this was a truly brilliant concept and it was executed incredibly well. With the columns by Oliver and you so far, this round is off to a hell of a good start. Well done.