Shane, brother, even just from the videos I've been watching from around that time it's clear Luger was over as fuck. They should have ran with that as long as they could for sure.
Pillman is excellent in this promo, and it's so unique to him but still has respect for the history. He was a smart talker, you know. It's not just "I'm gunna beat you up!" there's so much going on there. He's one of the lost greats for sure and so few people seem to know. Partly because of that "WWE told me...." mentality. They present him only as The Loose Cannon, Austin and the Hart foundation wierdo with a gun, but he had real skill. The interesting thing for me doing this series is realizing how influenced I am by the WWE machine. Luger was a big deal, especially in his early WCW run, but he's routinely presented as a failed Hogan. Frankly, when it comes to stupid shit I doubt WCW and WWE have much of a different record, but the winne writes the history and all that.
Ray, old buddy - I'd love to see you write something on Pillman. I know you've carved a niche of writing timely, current affairs pieces but it's always good to show some back story on yourself. Interesting you say about him leading The Horseman as Jericho talks about that in his first group. Apparently, during his ECW run, Pillman talked to him about starting a version of The Horsemen with all young guys called Generation X Horseman. Pillman was a thinker. Agreed on Evolution, I enjoyed them but they didn't have that special something, specifically because no one in the group was special. More like a tribute band than anything else.
Al - It's Lugers eyes. Black eyes, like a dolls eyes. He's speaking but nothings going on back there. I can't help but hear those lines, I've watched so many Flair promos I hear them in my sleep!
Mizzleton - I know, Arn is overpowering. You know, I've never really thought about Pillmans role in the modern worked-shoot history but you're right on. I should also hate him but I don't. I suppose because in his case it was innovative and new and intriguing whereas now it's a cheap trick. Haha! Sting. I don't know enough about Stings career but he does seem to have a betrayal fetish. His best friend is Luger who must have betrayed him a good few times.
Much obliged, y'all. And now for something completely different....
The Chops: DRAGONS!?!
Hello people! As you can see from the banner I'm taking a quick break from The Horsemen to discuss something else. See, in one of these columns I took a little pop at Lucha Underground (LU). All in good fun but it did prompt a response from our resident expert, The Masked Murphy (excellent name – go read his columns on LU. After you read mine, obviously). He insists that Drago is for sure a Dragon. So I felt it was only fair to take a proper look for myself. So I made my usual demands of Youtube and my sweet mistress delivered. So...
LET'S HORS.......LUCHA UNDERGROUND!!!!
0:06 – Hello, Kitten, what is your name? This lady sure is attractive. Weeeooot-wooo! I'm going to keep watching this show. HONK!
0:18 – Right, those are some pretty bad-ass wings. I'm not convinced he's a freakin' Dragon but those are some big-time wings.
0:27 – Dude, what is with your tongue? That is fucked up. Guys, what's the deal with this guys tongue, for reals? Also, I forgot Matt Striker commentated on this. Suck a butt, Striker.
0:31 – That is a sweet mask. Mask, guys. It's not a his head is it? If it's really his head then he may be a Dragon.
0:57 – Bad-ass overhead shot, catching the shadow of the wings and such. Sweet.
1:01 – Oh, it's Hernandez? Is he in this too? Huh. Wait, he's taking his belt off. This just took a weird turn.
1:10 – Oh, he's whipping him with it. That's better. Get him! He's not even a real Dragon! Hernandez is furious about him pretending to be a Dragon and rightfully so!
1:55 – Generic Hernandez peaces out the ring and Not-A-Dragon is all “Fuck yeah, I still want to fight, I'm a Dragon!”
2:25 – Mil Muertes is from beyond the grave?! HE's not the Undertaker! Is everyone in this not what they claim to be? His nickname is “The Man of a Thousand Deaths” that is just immense. Also, the woman with him is just tremendous. Have I mentioned I have a thing for Hispanic women? Because I do. Holy moly.
3:31 – Muertes knows how to fucking dress. This robe/peacock deal is pimp.
4:10 – Aztec Undertaker straight up launches Drago into the turnbuckle at the very moment Striker says he has the power advantage. No shit, homes. Rams him a cupla times then just punches him in the face. Which seems like a bad idea because that dudes face is super spiky, y'all. Like a Dragons?!
4:24 – Drago uses some fast feet though to gain the upper hand and tries a delightfully old school waistlock from behind. How quaint! It does not work, but still.
4:45 – The dead guy tries his own waistlock but he forgets that the guy he's fighting thinks he's a Dragon, so he does a nice flip off the turnbuckle and slams the big fucker. Who sits straight up. Aztec Undertaker, baby!
4:55 – Drago tries a few kicks and a running kick to the head which are.....almost No-Sold. Respect to Mil (can I call you Mil?) for showing a little shake on them.
5:07 – OHHH!! Big time belly to belly! HE's like The Aztec UnderLesnar! Big running clothesline! Knocked that Non-Dragon the FUCK OUT!! YOU AIN'T NO DRAGON!
5:30 – (Not) Ivan Drago is tied up in the ropes with Muertes trying to pull his face off. Not his mask, his face right? That's the deal here?
5:37 – Camera cuts to Katrina and I forget what I'm doing. And where I live. And the names of all my ex-girlfriends. She's hot is what I'm saying!
5:45 – DeadMan just rattles the shit out of Drago in the corner, then pulls the ol' referee chase away. The ref does that pointing at the shirt thing, like that's going to stop a guy who claims to be dead and is currently fighting a Dragon. He's got bigger things on his mind, so called man in charge!
6:17 – Tries a press slam and then, eh, doesn't. Sting is disgusted with this failure. So he runs at the ropes, purely so that Drago could kick him it seems. Bunch of moves happen but it feels like they're doing them just to do them. I'm not feeling any motivation or momentum here. The crowd is also pretty silent, is this normal for The Underground?
6:46 – RUNNING TACKLE!!!!!!! That was big time! I have to stress it isn't a spear, as Muertes picks him up and runs a couple of steps for some extra momentum! You really felt the power of the big man there!
Drago - "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"
7:07 – Fucking loud DDT! I have to say, this match is far more interesting when Doctor Dead Guy is in charge. He's a big hard bastard.
7:27 – Good, vicious knees to the back. Set him on fire, if you're a Dragon!
7:45 – LOUD CHOPS! It's heartening to see that the crowd WOOOO's even here. Those CHOPS must suck to take though, fuckity balls!
7:57 – Ooooo, Drago flips right over Muertes, the nippy wee fucker, Big Mil gives chase but he dodges and kicks him on the way out the ring......HE'S FLYYYYIIIIING!!! HE IS A DRAGON!!!
8:17 – Worryingly, The Man of Hunners of Deaths gets up first because he is still part Undertaker, remember. Always remember.
8:41 – He shows just how Undertaker he is by launching Maybe-Dragon into the crowd, who all leap out the way and let him crash into the chairs. The dicks. He took that bump like a champ, mind!
8:49 – Wanna know how few fucks Mil Muertes gives? I'll tell you. He picks up one of those chairs and starts smashing them into the other chairs because he wants to murder Drago some more. Drago, wisely, stays his ass behind those chairs as long as possible.
9:25 – Now Spiky-face guy gets the bright idea to crawl out of the wreckage and we're all like “well done, good for you” and Muertes goes “No, you're stupid, stay there” and spears him then jogs away.
9:40 – Nope! He's back and he's smashing dudes head into a chair.
10:01 – Crowd wants tables because wrestling crowds are just the biggest assholes. The mans just been thrown and speared into a pile of chairs!
10:27 – The big scary dead bastard decides he also wants tables...ANNOUNCE TABLES! So he drags Drago (heh) over and Powerbombs him back to the womb. Or the Dragon egg as he would have us believe! Real talk, Drago is having a hard freakin' night!
I should point out that the table does not break. Thems made of sturdier stuff!
11:09 – Muertes just runs over and punches Drago when he tries to get up. Haha! That was awesome!
11:36 – Oh, Drago grabs some room! Does the ol' Christian turnbuckle avoidy kicky thing! Off the top rope and it's a hard DDT!! So loud, I love how loud the impact is on the ring here.
12:11 – Springboard, goes for some kind of ARM DRAG, no roll through? I do not know what the fuck he's trying to do. HAHAAHA!! Muertes gets tired of his shit and just starts clubbing him in the back. Drago takes the smart choice and just covers up for dear life. I love you, Mil Muertes, you big terrifying bastard.
Do you think his Mum is call Milf Muertes? Wah-Wah!
12:31 – Definitely Not a Dragon tries to crawl away but Mil just grabs his leg and launches him because Muertes is as bad as they come.
12:39 – Drago, who cannot learn lessons it seems, throws a punch. Which is caught by the baddest man in The Temple. Them he punches him right in his stupid, spiky, fake Dragon face!
12:45 – Muertes, who has clearly had enough of this shit, pulls Drago close. Then, I'm guessing, says something terrifying and slams the silly fucker face first into the mat.
That's a three count you're hearing, Drago!
13:09 – Wait, my night keeps getting better. Catrina is crawling in the ring and it's just ass and dirty eyes everywhere. As if that's not enough, she licks Dragos mouth because I LOVE HER!! Then Mil kisses her and licks his lips and it's gotten weird. It's weird now. And Hot.
13:47 – Not to be left out, Konnan is here with some chump, who I assume is the champion. I hate him on principal because he is;
a. Not Mil Muertes
b. Hanging out with Konnan. Who sucks.
To the important business; none of these people are Dragons.
I am, of course, having some fun with the Dragon stuff. This was a damn fine match. Not the best, and it's carried heavily by my love of big ass-kicker types. It was fun watching a monster heel just maul someone. Given that Drago appears to be one of the bigger names here, he was pretty roundly stomped which I like. I'm sure there's better matches out there, in fact I'm sure a few of you have told me of them and I've never gotten round to it. What I will say of this match is that it makes me want to watch more.
I am also aware that LU leans heavily on the storytelling aspect, so it's hard to drop in on one match and really pick it up. That was clear here when Striker was prattling on about Aztec symbols and shit and I was just watching a large man beat up a smaller, non Dragon, man. However, I do like the what I've heard of LU. The idea that it is a self-contained world, much like any TV show. It's a problem that WWE or TNA have in that they are, essentially, their own world but they are often impeded on by the outside world (celebrity appearances and such). This in turn can lead to issues when trying to suspend your disbelief. It also encourages weekly viewing, in much the same way that episodic TV does. These are good things.
In conclusion, LU seems to offer something truly unique in the World of Wrestling. So if you have the notion, take a look at it. It may not be your cup of tea but if you have 15 minutes or so, dig out a match if you haven't already.
He's not a fucking Dragon though. Unless it's like a Were-Dragon deal. Is that it?
Tomorrow – The Horsemen return with Benoit! Who is also not a Dragon!