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Thread: The ABCs of Wrestling - Beta Edition

  1. #1
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    The ABCs of Wrestling - Beta Edition

    26 Days...

    26 Letters...

    26 Writers...

    26 Columns...

    The ABCs of Wrestling





    G'day one and all and welcome to the return of the 2014 Column Series of the Year and the greatest collaborative effort to have ever graced the pages of Lords of Pain.

    Last year after watching the ABCs of Death, a film anthology of 26 directors who were each given a letter of the alphabet upon which they were to make a short film about death based upon a word of their choice which started with that letter, I envisioned a massive collaborative undertaking entitled The ABCs of Wrestling. In this series I gathered 26 (eventually 29) writers whom I each gave a letter too with the purpose of them to write a creative column based on a word of their choice which starts with that letter. While I figured the final effort would be a nice little series I was not prepared for just how epic it would become. The efforts that the 29 writers put out went above and beyond my expectations and made the series a massive success. For any of you who haven't read te series yet or would like to go back and reminisce on the greatness it was you can do so here http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...s-of-Wrestling.

    That series however was only the Alpha Edition. Now one year on it is time to do it once again, this time with the Beta Edition. Once again I have gathered 26 writers from all over Lords of Pain and given them each a letter of the alphabet to choose a word from to base a creative column about wrestling on. However this year there is a slight difference, they are banned from using the word that was used the year before.

    Over the next 26 days I will post 1 entry at a time for your reading pleasure. However today I will not be posting one of these columns. As a bonus for you all, and so you can have a chance to go back and read last years series if you wish, I will post for you a special entry, somewhat of an entree, to give you all a taste of what's too come. So sit back and enjoy The ABCs of Wrestling - Beta Edition.






    A is for Andre, with the largest of hands,
    B is for Bruno, the best in the lands.
    C if for Cactus, Mankind and Dude Love,
    D is for Dynamite, flying headbuts from above.
    E is for Earthquake, a big man to slam,
    F is for Faaroq, Damn! Damn! Damn!
    G is for Gangrel, a vampire who drank blood,
    H is for Hunter, once wrestled in the mud.
    I is for Ivory, censorship was her right,
    J is for Jarrett, brought his guitar to the fight.
    K is for Kurt, the Olympic gold medalist,
    L is for Lita, the hot female aerialist.
    M is for McMahon, the owner of the show,
    N is for Nunzio, he needed to grow.
    O is for Owen, he left us too soon,
    P is for Patera, retired Gorilla Monsoon.
    Q is for Queen, Sensational Sherri, not Sharmell,
    R is for Rock, his cooking, can you smell?
    S is for Shawn, the Heartbreak Kid, Mr Wrestlemania,
    T is for Ted, the millionaire suffered from megalomania.
    U is for Umaga, the Samoan Bulldozer,
    V is for Valbowski, a bit of a poser.
    W is for William, an English Regal is he,
    X is for X-Pac, originally known as 1-2-3.
    Y is for Yokozuna, he wasn’t really Japanese,
    Z is for Ziggler, finishing my wrestler A, B, C’s.







    My Wrestler A, B, C's
    written by zzzorf
    Last edited by zzzorf; 07-27-2015 at 06:45 AM.

  2. #2
    Very happy to see this return. It was one of the best series ever to grace the CF. This was a fun little start to the proceedings, and we have 26 more to go, so I can't wait to see what's in store. GEE, I wonder what letter I wrote?

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    Can't wait for this either.

    Rob, I'm stumped lol.
    Read my latest. That's not a request.

    THAT'S AN ORDER, MAGGOT!!!!





  4. #4
    Senior Member kingzak13's Avatar
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    I get the feeling that Rob is actually trying to trick us here and wrote a different letter to the obvious one.

    I am really looking forward to this, I really hope my entry gets good reception, we have a few days to wait before that though.
    Wrestlers vs. Zombies Part B is now up, click the link and check it out.

    http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...042#post110042

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    Senior Member SkitZ's Avatar
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    Yeah after last year's edition, this should definitely become a regular staple in the CF (and lets be honest... this place could use it). Good on you for bringing the series back to life, Zzzorf.

    PM if someone's unable to cover their letter and you need a B+ writer to step in last second. I wouldn't mind getting my hands dirty.

  6. #6
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    Can't wait... So glad that I am part of this once again!

  7. #7
    I was saying Boo-Urns. lunchbox1981's Avatar
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    I really liked your entry there zzzorf. Reading it put a bit of a smile on my face and I am looking forward to reading all of the 26 other entries. It will be fun seeing what everyone came up with.

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    Was pumped to hear this was returning (and to participate again!). I really enjoyed this opening poem, just an appetizer for all the good stuff to come.

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    Awesome taste of what's to come. Loved the poem, zzzorf! Can't wait to read everyone's post, as well as my own

  10. #10
    The Underage Pessimist Subho's Avatar
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    That was great, zzzorf! Super excited for this; one of my all time favorite things in the CF!

  11. #11
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    Note from zzzorf: While I set out for this series to be the same this year as it was last, creative columns from top to bottom, unfortunately this year it didn't quite fall to plan. Of the 26 entries 3 have came back to me in standard column form. 1 of these was a deliberate breaking of the rules to write a personal piece that he needed to write, the other two were accidents because I took it for granted that people would remember this was a creative series. So see last year I reminded the writers in nearly all communications that they needed to write creative, however this year I only did it in the initial communication and when I gave each writer their letter. I realised my mistake and I let them slide this year, that is after I berated (read: friendly remided) them over the fact. You

    The funny thing is all 3 of them took part last year and knew what was expected of them.

    Anyway unfortunately A will not be a creative as it is the 3rd standard column I received and being close to deadline there was no way for the writer to write anything else. However as you will see in this column (and the other 2 to be exact) you can see why I was happy to allow it as stands.

    Enjoy.







    Antonio Inoki defeated Ric Flair in the Main Event of Collision in Korea, a jointly produced pay-per-view event by World Championship Wrestling and New Japan Pro Wrestling. The event occurred on April 29, 1995 in Pyongyang, North Korea. So I don't exactly feel guilty about spoiling the main event, which was fairly lackluster considering the names involved. The show wouldn't be remembered for the narratives painted heading into the event - there was very little in the way of
    storylines. There were no five star classics, innovative match types, or moments of promo poetry. But i’m going to drop a number on you, and I want you to hold that number in your mind. Picture it. See the
    comma. See the six digits and contemplate what the number actually means. Alright? You ready?

    190,000

    This number represents how many souls - men, women, girls and boys - made the journey to the second and final night of the event. One-Hundred and Ninety Thousand. Let’s try to understand that number. In scientific terms, and I could be wrong about this, I believe it would be considered a “Metric Fuckton”. But don’t quote me. It’s about 100,000 more than Wrestlemania III, which claims to be the North American attendance record for a sporting event. 190,000 people is roughly equivalent to the populations of Samoa, Guam, and Saint Lucia. And those are fucking countries.

    It was a fucking LOT of people, you guys. Just to watch wrestling. WRESTLING. Men throwing each other around in their underwear while pretending to fight. Dressed in their best suits, filing into single files polite lines, stone-faced and respectful of the Sport of Kings being performed by men who, for all practical purposes, Flair and Inoki, were Kings of their trade. The audience, gargantuan in size, watching the two icons of their time do battle. Once-in-a-generation. Timeless. And you know what?

    The crowd was ab-so-lutely dead.

    So it goes.

    How exactly did an event of this magnitude come to fruition? And who, exactly, is responsible for setting the Professional Wrestling Attendence Record? Let’s find out.

    Kim Il Sung and the lead up to CiK.

    On the morning of July 8, 1994, the “Great Leader” of North Korea, Kim Il Sung, grasped his chest and collapsed to the ground. Despite his, now public, efforts to find a way to medically ensure he lived to 100, Kim passed at the age of 86 - still 18 years greater than the average life expectancy of 62 years for the country. He had been receiving treatment because the arteries leading into his heart were, quite literally, hardening. Poetically, metaphorically, symbolically fitting as representation to the further isolation that his country was creating for itself. These treatments ranged from the simple - more laughter - to the deranged - forced blood transfusions from specially selected young men in their 20’s. By the time of his death, Il Sung’s North Korea was only conducting limited trade and contact with China, Russia, Vietnam, and Cuba. Four countries who, to many westerners, list like the equivalent of a heel stable of nations.

    I promise you that understanding all of this is important to the comprehending this event.

    A ten day period of mourning was ordered for the Revolutionary. Held from July 8 to July 17. Concluding with the “last parting with the respected leader Comrade Kim Il-sung” in Pyongyang on the final day. There is video of women watching his Heart pass by, screaming in agony as tears flow from their eyes, beating their chest in gorilla heartbreak. The pain of their loss is… from the look of it… unimaginable.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zYsUqAYg6c

    And so, in the days and months prior to the two-night event, North Korea was in mourning. And as Il Sung’s successor, it was Kim Jung Il’s duty to pull his nation out of the darkness and back into glory. Whispers of doubt of Kim’s ability had begun to sweep across the rooftops and villages of the nation, and combined with economic pressure from outside forces, the heat was on the Nation to regain it’s glorious image, and emerge from this loss stronger than before. All Kim needed was the right opportunity.

    And so.

    In stepped Antonio Inoki.

    Antonio Inoki - Wrestler, Politician, Opportunity Taker.


    In order to understand just how much Antonio Inoki has accomplished in his lifetime, you risk blurring facts with hyperbole. Imagine if Vince McMahon had not only built his WWE Empire, but had served as a senator for two terms, fought Muhammad Ali, and acted as an ambassador between the US and Middle East. Inoki was the first democratically elected official to ever meet with Fidel Castro. He held hostage negotiations with Saddam Hussein, who gave the wrestler a pair of Golden Swords for his efforts. He once saved a half dozen drowning puppies from certain death by swinging from a vine, swooping them up, and neutering them all in process. This last one isn’t true, but one were to tell me it
    was, that they had seen it, you’re damn sure I would believe them. The man is a come-to-life Video Game protagonist, coupled with a jaw so strong it could turn a diamond into dust. Chuck Norris ain’t got shit on Antonio Inoki.

    Inoki’s “World Peace Through Sports” belief had been well-documented by the mid-nineties. The man was, despite his fighting spirit, hungry to bring peace and prosperity to Earth. In fact, when Inoki was elected to the House of Councillors in 1989 he ran as a member of a party founded around him - the “Sports and Peace Party”. His campaign promised to deliver an “Enziguri to the National Consumption Tax”. The picture that his actions begin to paint is that of a idealistic optimist aiming to use the platform of his fame in order to create a more united people.

    Having been trained by North Korean legend, and “Godfather” of Japanese Pro Wrestling, Rikidozan gained Inoki the trust and acceptance he needed in order to enter negotiations with North Korean officials. The goodwill Inoki benefitted from as a Japanese man welcome in Korea provided for a unique opportunity to make diplomatic inroads where others couldn’t. And so when Inoki saw the opportunity, he decided to grasp it.

    ”...what a phenomenal opportunity.”

    But instead of simply bringing the starpower of himself and NJPW, Inoki decided to up the ante. Add another flag to this display of unity under the power of Sports. And so… he made a phone call to someone he already had a standing business relationship with - World Championship Wrestling and Eric Bischoff.

    Bischoff claims that the proposal went like this:

    “Sometime in early '95, Antonio called and asked me for help in trying to get Muhammad Ali to come over to this event that he described as a world peace event…”

    Oh. I should add… Antonio also wanted Muhammad Ali to go. To North Korea. Yeah.

    “I thought, well, the little that I know about Muhammad and the kind of things he was interested in—it sounds unique. I said, ‘Where is it?’ I assumed it was in Tokyo. Then he said it was in Pyongyang, North Korea. Oh, wow. I thought, what a phenomenal opportunity.”

    Bischoff was in. He contacted Ali’s people, the two were familiar due to a shared partnership with Turner Broadcasting. Not to mention The Champ’s wrestling fandom is well known. It was the perfect storm of comfort for Ali’s camp - they had worked with Inoki, they had worked with Bischoff and Ted Turner, and Ali would love to pal around with pro wrestlers for a week. Bischoff had this to say:

    “So I reached out to Muhammad and he and the people that work for him were actually quite excited to do it. That was the easiest part of it.”

    With Ali in tow, Inoki focused on crafting a card deserving of such a monumental event. And in Inoki’s mind… there was no better possible main event than him versus… Hulk Hogan.

    “So I asked Hulk,” said Bischoff, “and I might as well have asked him to row a boat to Pluto. It was not gonna happen.”

    So it goes.

    Never ones to be deterred, however, Inoki and Bischoff went to the obvious option B, Ric Flair, who saw it as a new adventure to an already illustrious career. And the Main Event was set. And is there a better possible representative for how the behind-the-curtain Koreans probably envisioned the brash, cocky, pretty-boy Americans? Flair’s bleach blond hair, lavish robes, and floppy in ring style was enough to cement any preconceived notions of those outlandish and savage Americans. Look no further than the patented WOOOOOOOO. An animalistic mighty yawp that screamed “I am who I am, bitch. Deal with it.”

    The cast of Americans that followed Flair were under NJPW, and thus, really had no choice. Reports suggest they received no added bonus for attending, and were paid their usual appearance fee. Too Cold Scorpio joined in, opening the show in a bout against Wild Pegasus, better known as Chris Benoit. Road Warrior Hawk made a short appearance, as well as the Steiner Brothers, Rick and Scott. Scott Norton rounded out the crew, having this to say “I wasn’t aware of what was going on in North Korea too much….I talked to the Japanese guys all the time and they were just freaking. They were nervous.”

    Antonio Inoki had, once again, been successful. And with WCW, NJPW, and The Greatest Fighter of All Time behind him --- the event was set to be main event of the International Sports and Cultural Festival for Peace. It was to be held in Pyongyang’s May Day Stadium - regarded as the largest stadium in the world with a capacity of 150,000 thousand seats.

    But as easy as the planning had been, the execution and experience proved to be a little more… problematic.

    And when Sonny Onoo informed the Japanese Embassy his plans to travel to North Korea their response was this: “...no. You understand we cannot guarantee your safety’—that was about the last thing they told us.”

    To Be Continued….








    A is for Attendance Record
    written by Al.

  12. #12
    The Underage Pessimist Subho's Avatar
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    Al, this was absolutely brilliant. I actually knew about this event and the attendance record.. but this.... this was excellent. Fantastic piece, and you actually made me believe that Inoki saved those puppies.

    This series has gotten off to a brilliant start again. Cannot wait for the rest!

  13. #13
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    Wow, what a story, I never heard of this, and I can't wait to read more about it!
    And Jacob wrestled with God.



    I believe I can fly!
    I believe I can touch... your intestines and liver inside.


  14. #14
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    The entrance music hits and I hear the roar of the crowd. The rafters begin to shake and the whole arena gets loud.

    On my way to the ring for the fight of my life. I know all of the fans are counting on me to do what’s right. I must hold my head high win, lose or draw.

    Making my way into the ring my music stops. For a moment there is silence before I hear the bell ring. There I see my opponent standing across from me. A loud chorus of boos flow through the air. As we meet in the middle of the ring both unaware.

    We lock up for the first time as the crowd jumps to their feet. Those who do not remain on the edge of their seat.

    He is pushed to the mat with a loud resounding thud. As I pose for the crowd enthralled in the moment. Planning my next move for the audience’s enjoyment.

    He jumps to his feet and we lock up again. This time we break and I hit the ropes as our bodies collide with a power times ten.

    Falling to the mat blows rain down on my head leading the crowd to cheer. I begin to fight back and climb to my feet. When all of a sudden I can feel a change in the crowd. The adulation that was coming my way is no longer as loud.

    I stop for a moment to take a quick look around, but all that I see is a different crowd. A stunned look on my face I can sense my opponent's attack. He throws me to the mat and flat on my back.

    Pain fills my body and so do the cheers for my opponent now ringing in my ears. I lie still for a moment or two to take it all in. Confused by what happened and unsure of where to begin.

    Back up on my feet I yell towards the crowd “WHAT IS GOING ON?!” and to my surprise there response is quite loud. Clear as a blue sky it begins to sink in that part of the audience no longer approves of what I have been.

    Shocked and dismayed but mostly taken by surprise I begin to understand that it’s time to get wise.

    If I am going to surprise in this business things are going to have to change. Most of all my approach to the game.

    With a bit of a sheepish grin and smile on my face I begin to formulate a plan that will forever change my space.

    Sliding out of the ring I drop to my knees and under the ring I reach for a chair. Then look towards the audience whose shocked faces appear to be floating in air.

    I climb back into the ring and feel ready to strike. I hesitate for a moment and then begin to think. Is this the road that you want to go down? If so there is no coming back from the brink. Ready to do something I’ve never done before; I hold the chair high over head before dropping it to the floor.

    All eyes on me the crowd begins to boo and hiss. But I hold my head high knowing this decision was right. It’s not in my character to cheat in a fight.

    The world needs heroes. Characters that are honest and true. Even if they don’t always like it, good has a way of shining through.









    B is for Babyface
    written by Lunchbox1981

  15. #15
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    Such a subtle and delightful way of depicting a baby face. Possibly talking about John Cena? But still open ended enough to have been any baby face that has gone stale but still insist to be in the right side. Then again, only Reigns and Cena are in this category.

    The ending you chose really gift wrapped the message with a beautiful finish. Love it.
    And Jacob wrestled with God.



    I believe I can fly!
    I believe I can touch... your intestines and liver inside.


  16. #16
    It's time! JCool's Avatar
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    Off to a fine start, writers. That attendance record one has me hooked to read the next part, should it materialize. I'm guessing everyone made it in and out of North Korea alright?

    As for "Babyface", the second half was more interesting than the intro. Like JWG said, a fine finish. Read more like a poem than a narrative. Was that the intention?

  17. #17
    The Underage Pessimist Subho's Avatar
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    Nice piece, lunch. Really bare bones and enjoyable throughout. That last line was sweet, as others have said.

    Looking forward to C-ing tomorrow's work!

  18. #18
    I was saying Boo-Urns. lunchbox1981's Avatar
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    Thank you for your responses guys. I really didn’t know how this was going to be received.

    Jacob I can understand why you’d assume this was a piece about John Cena. Although I didn’t really have him in mind when writing it. Rather it was mostly every clean cut babyface I’ve seen throughout the years that I’ve watched wrestling. Although it can be said that it applies to Cena now.

    Jcool I sort of started out attempting to write a poem, but by the end of it I’d say it turned into something a little different. Although I was pretty pleased with how it turned out.

    Subho I am glad you liked it.

  19. #19
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    That North Korea story is so insane. I knew about the event but not all of the details so I'm completely hooked already. Hoping for another part!

    LB, you don't write nearly enough around here, I'm always intrigued when you do. At first I thought this was a little too simple and vague, but the more I look at it the more I appreciate it, you added a lot of small touches that I really appreciate. You can almost trace the changing history of the business, at one time boos would have meant the heel turn that the main character contemplates, but as time moves on he sticks to his guns even if the crowd doesn't like it. Is it good or bad? Hard to say in every direction, but there's something very true about it, at least in terms of the evolution of the face/heel dynamic in WWE.

    Really digging the series so far, as expected! Looking forward to many more good ones!

  20. #20
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    The Scene - Our nerdy hero is sitting at home playing the new Playstation 4 smash hit game Call of Duty: WWE. Having finished the single player mode in half a day he was now venturing into the online multiplayer using the ID Word_Life38. He chooses John Cena for his playable character, for just like his hero he never loses, and enters the lobby dedicated to the Survivor Series Team Deathmatch mode. After the random team selection he was paired with spanish_announce_table (Roman Reigns), 316WhoopAss (Daniel Bryan), HHH4Life_Authority (Dean Ambrose) and EVE_TORRES_FAN (Zack Ryder) against Fight_Kevin_Fight (Kevin Owens), Game_Nature_Animal_Viper (Sheamus), xXxHellindaCellxXx (Seth Rollins), The_Big_Red_Machine (Kane) and thetruekofi (Kofi Kingston) in what interestingly turned out to be a Face/Heel showdown.

    The face team spawns inside a locker room, which upon quick inspection by our hero he deducts it must be the Divas locker room due to the discarded bras and panties around the room, that or it was Vince McMahon’s private locker room. It mattered little to our hero as he had a mission, to seek out and destroy the heels. He made a sweep of his teammates to see who would become a benefit in the fight to come and everyone seemed good to go, everyone except Ryder who was running around in circles, looking up to the roof. Our hero knew instantly that Ryder would be no help, nOObs never were. He shakes his head, throwing a quick curse at EVE_TORRES_FAN, before once again setting his mind on the task at hand.

    Bryan leads the team out of the locker room, holding his AK 47 at the ready, heading to the left once he was outside the door. Our hero follows him while Reigns and Ambrose take the right, all with their guns at the ready. Ryder, who has now stopped running around in circles, follows them out, however instead of turning he runs into the wall opposite the door. Once again our hero shakes his head and curses at his unfortunate luck at being teamed with such a green nOOb.

    Both pairings start progressing down their respective hallways hugging the walls as they go down. Our hero takes the right side of the hallway with the first doorway he comes across being the catering section. He tentatively enters the room causing it out for signs of a heel. After determining no opponents were in the room he returns to the hallway, narrowly missing a sniper bullet that flew straight past his head. Turning around to determine the source he finds that Ryder is no longer running into the wall but is instead firing at him. While our hero believes his best cause of action would be to put a bullet in Ryder and thus ridding himself of the potential disaster having him on the team means but he decides against it for he could prove useful later on. He turns and proceeds down the hallway.

    Moving down the corridor past the posters, showing various PPVs throughout the years, our hero continues to move. All of a sudden the sound of gunfire fills his headset and he knows the battle has been joined. A quick scan allows our hero the chance to discover the source of sound to be around the corner up ahead, just off the poster for December to Dismember. Using stealth to creep up to the corner he finds Bryan in a firefight with Kane in a parking lot. Surveying the scene in front of him he knows that Kane has the advantage and that it wouldn’t be too long before he would be able to shoot the bullet that would do away his teammate. It was up to our hero to save his comrade and garner the first advantage to his team. He starts to creep around the backs of the cars, at all times keeping his eyes on Kane to make sure he isn’t spotted but Kane seems to engrossed in his fight with Bryan to notice Cena had entered the fight. Once he was finally positioned behind Kane he changed his weapon from his gun to a knife, there was nothing more satisfying for our hero than walking up behind his opponents and stab them in the back. Slowly he creeps up to Kane while Bryan distracts him with crossfire. He raises his knife and plunges it into Kane, eliminating him from the contest and giving his team the 5-4 advantage.

    The advantage however was short lived. Mere seconds after the death of Kane who sprints into the parking lot but none other than Ryder, spraying the parking lot with bullets, his finger heavy on the R2 button. One of the bullets hits Bryan in his left eye thus squaring the teams back of at 4-apiece. Regretting his decision from only moments before our hero lobs a grenade in Ryder's direction who just stands there staring at the grenade at his feet until it blows him up giving the advantage to the heels at 4-3.

    Now with his team at the disadvantage our hero stalks back up the hallway in search of his teammates to try to garner the advantage through strategy that they had lost with lack of numbers. He stalked back past their spawning point in the Diva’s locker room and continued up the hall. As he went along he checked all the rooms to make sure no one was in them. The rest rooms were vacant and so were the offices of the Authority, even though he couldn’t tell either of them apart. Finally he came upon the concession stand where he found his two teammates in a stand off with Rollins who was standing in front of a T-Shirt stand, which at the front and foremost had a Shield t-shirt. Our hero stood back and watched as Reigns and Ambrose circled Rollins, cornering him so he had no escape. Wondering why no one was shooting at each other in a game where the object was to shoot to kill our hero stood back and watched the scene unfolding in front of him. Imagine the horror on his face when Reigns would turn on his partner and shoot him eliminating him from the game.

    It was then that it dawned on our hero that these two had been in cahoots the whole time, with Reigns being a set up to help make sure Rollins would walk out the victor. He would not let this sort of tomfoolery happen on his watch, even blatant cheating like this would not stop him from walking out the winner. Just like the character he was playing our hero lived by the motto Hustle, Loyalty, Respect and he owed it to all the gamers out there to put these two out of the game. Our hero stepped out of the shadows and channelled Rambo as he sprayed both men with the bullets from his gun.

    After the frenzy subsided our hero took stock of his situation, coming to the realisation that with him shooting down Reigns he no longer had any allies while his enemies still had three members. While the odds were not in his favour he knew that he knew that he could still win, hell Cena was able to beat the entire Nexus single handily, so a couple of imbeciles like this should be no hassle for him. He once again set off in search of his opposition.

    Knowing that there wasn’t really much left of the back area to explore our hero started to move towards the ring area. Our heroes Spider Senses were tingling as he approached the curtain leading to the ring, he therefore took an even more cautious approach than was normal and it paid off as he was able to see the flicker of movement come from the Gorilla Position and was able to dispense of Sheamus before Sheamus even realised he was coming, taking the opponent's advantage down to 2-1. Our hero thought to himself just how stupid Game_Nature_Animal_Viper was too have chosen the whitest player in the game and then had to hide him in the dark, it just doesn’t work like that. Our hero stepped through the curtain, his gun and knife drawn in tactical formation..

    All of a sudden “My Time is Now” flows through our hero’s headset, reminding him that since this is a WWE game the selected characters music plays as he walks through the curtain and enters the arena proper. A flow of expletives rains from his mouth at the game producers for putting a silly thing like this into the game and then a few more aimed at himself for forgetting that it was included. He now knew though that the game was on for the remaining two opponents would know exactly where he was. He started to scan the area and as he turned around he just caught caught Kofi jumping off the titantron and as quick as a flash he flicked out the knife catching Kofi in the Jugular, squaring the game at 1-apiece. A laugh escaped our hero for he knew exactly who that gamertag belonged too and the fact that Kofi’s high risk style continued over to his gaming seemed funny to him.

    With only Steen left between him and the victory our hero slowly progressed down to the ring to get the best advantage point to survey his surroundings, banking on his abilities not to be killed in such an open area. Upon climbing into the ring he was met by Owens, who only held a knife, on the other side. While nothing was passed between the two our hero knew exactly what this meant, that Owens wanted to settle this fight without guns, to settle it like men in hand to hand combat. Our hero lowered his gun and the two started to circle, one would feint which the other would dodge and then it would happen in reverse. The two seemed evenly matched with neither gaining the upperhand. Suddenly a rookie gaming mistake was made by Owens, a mere pushing off the wrong button and the opening was there for our hero to strike, and strike he did. Owens went down after the veteran gamer striked crumbling to the ground.

    Our hero was pleased, his dominance was once again proven. As was his custom he let out a yell “THE CHAMP IS HERE” scaring his mum up stairs who yelled back down at him to not scare her like that. He did not care for he was already getting ready his next match, a 1v1 slaughter of EVE_TORRES_FAN for he couldn’t believe one actually existed.









    C is for Call of Duty
    written by zzzorf Feat. ninja pineapple


    *ninja pineapple fka Wacco Zacco ffka Son of zzzorf

  21. #21
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    Hahahaha utter nonsense and I love it so much I read it twice. Really, That last line was a gem.
    And Jacob wrestled with God.



    I believe I can fly!
    I believe I can touch... your intestines and liver inside.


  22. #22
    Senior Member kingzak13's Avatar
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    If I may make a suggestion, if it is possible can each entry be linked to the letter in the poem at the start?

    And the lack of 12 year olds showing off the swears that they know makes this column completely unrealistic.
    Wrestlers vs. Zombies Part B is now up, click the link and check it out.

    http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...042#post110042

  23. #23
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER BATCH.

    Bony fingers clacked against the hard wood desk.

    I HAD HOPED TO PRACTICE MY VIOLIN TONIGHT, BUT IT APPEARS TO BE A FULL LOAD. THERE IS NOTHING FOR IT, THE SORTING MUST BE ATTENDED TO.

    Eyeless sockets glanced down at the itinerary. First stop…

    Philadelphia
    2300 Arena


    Deucalion stared with black eyes down at his own lifeless body in disbelief.

    “This isn’t right,” rumbled the Titan of Titor. “I cannot be defeated… and certainly not by this bunch of cartoon misfits! No! I shall not accept it! I shall kill! I shall…”

    Deucalion gaped as his hands passed through the triumphant Icarus, being held aloft by his colleagues to celebrate the victory.

    YOU SHALL DO NOTHING.

    Deucalion has been through wars in his time as a mercenary, and had heard people make sounds that he never thought possible, but this sudden voice, like tombstones rubbed together, sent shivers up his spine. He whirled around to confront this new dark figure, who was outside the cage and walking towards him.

    “Who are you to command me, fool? I am Deucalion, engine of destruction! I crush those who defy me as dust beneath my feet!”

    AND NOW YOU’RE DOWN THERE.

    The figure gestured to the massive body lying motionless on the canvas while nonchalantly passing through the links of the cage.

    Deucalion’s mind was ravaged by powers beyond human capacity to understand, but even understood that his plan had somehow gone terribly awry. Already fading, he mustered up one last attempt.

    “I am… the bringer of death…”

    AND HERE I AM.

    Deucalion bellowed his defiance one last time, then slumped to his knees as the dark essence that had once enveloped his life drained away once and for all. And, for just a brief moment, Death (for that is who the figure was, of course) thought he saw the image of the war torn monster replaced with that of a little boy, the one who used to smile and feel the wind on his face, before war changed everything and set him down his dark path. The image was fleeting, and perhaps it was not there at all, but it seemed to linger for just a moment. Death did not always know what happened to the souls that he collected, but he found himself hoping that this particular tortured soul would find some sort of peace.

    He had, if nothing else, created plenty of business for Death over the years, so perhaps it was just a professional courtesy.

    Death watched for a moment longer as the dark energy that had drained from Deucalion hovered over the ring. It twisted in the air in aggravation, the flowed to the backstage area to coalesce with its new servants.

    SEE YOU SOON.

    Death gave a dry chuckle to accompany this remark. It was one of his favorite little jokes, and he never gave a hint towards whether it was true or not. Having no skin gives you an excellent poker face.

    ODDS ARE I’LL BE BACK SOON EITHER WAY, Death noted as he departed. CHIKARA ALWAYS KEEPS ME BUSY.

    Death pulled his schedule from within his robe and flipped forward through the pages.

    THE DIFFICULT PART IS WHEN THEY HAVE ME BRING SOMEBODY BACK…

    Boyle Heights, Los Angeles
    Underneath the Temple


    “…Have I made myself clear?” asked Dario Cueto.

    “Wait! Just wait, don’t take me, take Cisqo, he’s not worth… um, what?” Bael’s flailing protests suddenly halted in confusion as his perspective shifted. A moment ago he had been starting down the gullet of a monster, but now he was standing back and watching his two former cohorts, Cortez Castro and Mr Cisqo, spattered in blood and holding a headless body against the cage bars between them. The monster inside growled at scraped at the body through the bars, and as Cisqo and Cortez stepped back the creature started to pull the corpse inside, bones bending and cracking to make it through the small gap. Cortez looked on grimly, while Cisqo vomited in the corner at the grisly sight, but Bael approached the bars in confusion.

    “I don’t... did you guys find another guy? Or…” Bael looked around and couldn’t help but notice that nobody was looking at him, or even seemed to hear him. With an uneasy feeling he turned again to the grim sight of the monster in the cage. Though it was a grisly scene, Bael looked closely and saw that yes, indeed, the body being devoured was wearing his clothes.

    “Is that…?”

    I AM AFRAID SO.

    “Dammit, you assholes! I can’t believe you did me like that!” Bael shouted vainly at his former stablemates. After a few futile kicks at the men who threw him under the bus, Bael paused and turned back to the new arrival to the Temple depths.

    “Um, hey, are you…?”

    I AM.

    “Well… damn.”

    UNFORTUNATELY SO.

    The awkward silence was punctuated by the smacking lips of the creature in the cage. It was understandably unsettling to Bale, so he attempted to bring the conversation back to life (a difficult proposition, considering his conversation partner).

    “So… what happens now?”

    NORMALLY I WOULD COLLECT YOUR SOUL AND YOU WOULD MOVE ON, BUT THIS IS SOMETHING OF A… TRICKY SITUATION.

    Death turned towards the creature in the cage, who met his gaze with burning eyes.

    UNFORTUNATELY WHEN THIS CREATURE KILLS, IT OWNS THE SOULS IT HAS TAKEN.

    Bael’s eyes widened in horror. Death shrugged, or at least approximated the action as closely as possible without shoulders.

    SPECIAL RULES. NOTHING PERSONAL.

    “Can’t I escape, or something?”

    ARE YOU A MAN OF A THOUSAND ME’S?

    “A what?”

    THOUSAND DEATHS, THAT IS.

    “Um… no?”

    THEN YOU ARE STUCK FOR NOW. IF IT’S ANY CONSOLATION, SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL THIS CREATURE.

    “Well, do they succeed? I mean, you would know right?”

    THAT WOULD BE TELLING. The darkness inside Death’s eye sockets almost seemed to twinkle. I DON’T DO SPOILERS.

    Bael began to panic again as his spirit was drawn towards the cage. The monster, having finished with the body, was hungry to munch on the longer lasting sustenance of the soul.

    “Hey man, don’t leave me here! Do something!”

    Death looked past the struggling soul as he fell into the clutches of the beast. The beast met his gaze again, and said within its burning glare that it would have many occasions to see Death again before all was said and done.

    TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MATANZA.

    Death did not have friends, but in a world of change it was nice to have something ancient and familiar to visit with on occasion.

    “What are you looking at, brother? What’s out there…” Dario whispered to his monstrous sibling as Death passed out of the Temple walls.

    Nashville, Tennessee
    Riverfront Train Station


    “Heheh… That’s a long way down…”

    Mickie James heard James Storm’s mocking drawl from the train platform above, and looked up to see him crouched where she had been standing a moment ago.

    “James, what the hell are you doing? I could have been really hurt, don’t you think this is a bit of an overreaction just because I didn’t want to join your little club? Hello?”

    Storm continued his sinister drawl, and Mickie watched first in irritation and then with growing concern as Storm called her fiancé and made it sound like she was dead or dying. She tried to yell so that Magnus would hear her over the phone and know it was a lie, but Storm never even glanced at her, instead staring fixedly at a point on the ground nearby. Feeling frustrated, she turned to the figure standing beside her.

    “Hey you, do you mind? Go get help, this guy is nuts!”

    THAT IS NOT THE KIND OF HELP THAT I PROVIDE.

    “What the hell do you mean, this redneck idiot tried to kill me or something!”

    HE MAY HAVE BEEN MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN YOU REALIZE.

    Mickie shook her head in confusion, but then noticed out of the corner of her eye something lying on the tracks where Storm had been looking.

    “Oh god… is that me? Am I dead?”

    Death allowed his billowing black robe and gleaming scythe answer that question.

    “Oh god, I can’t be dead! Listen, Mr Death, I’ve got a new baby, and a fiancé, and I really just can’t be dead right now. Is there any way you can, you know, put me back? It can’t be my time yet.”

    THERE IS NEVER CONVENIENT TIME FOR ME.

    “But… but come on, this doesn’t even make sense! I only fell, what, like, 3 feet? I’ve taken bigger falls than that with my eyes closed!”

    WELL… A BAD LANDING COULD…

    “And why would he even try to murder me anyway? I know there are security cameras right along the platform, I saw them. James may be a bit nuts but he is not stupid!”

    THE HUMAN MIND CAN BE…

    “And what, am I supposed to be dead now, or am I supposed to be run over by a train and then die? Won’t James Storm go right to jail? And why would anyone consider any of this as appropriate to air on a wrestling show? This whole thing doesn’t make a bit of sense! Please, please, can you just check or something?”

    Death took his schedule out from a fold in his robes. He checked the notes under this stop, and if his bony face could have frowned he would have done so when he saw nothing but question marks in the usual columns explaining the details of the passing.

    THIS IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL BUT I BELIEVE THERE MAY HAVE BEEN AN MISTAKE.

    “Oh thank you! You can’t know how much I appreciate this! Thank god!”

    I AM NOT DOING IT FOR YOU OR FOR HIM. I AM DOING IT DUE TO A CLERICAL ERROR.

    “Well… whatever works, right? So can you put me back? I think that train is going to run my body over in a minute, and that’s probably going to make it a lot harder to get back into.”

    I SHALL BEND THE RULES TO DELAY THIS ISSUE UNTIL IT IS CLEARED UP.

    Death snapped his bony fingers, a token gesture which produced only a quiet clacking sound, but in an instant Mickie was back in her body, blinking her eyes and being helped off the tracks by police who were suddenly, improbably there to assist. As Mickie tried to focus through her clouded vision, she caught a glimpse of a cloaked figure departing…

    I WILL BE BACK FOR YOU SOMEDAY, MISS JAMES. UNTIL THAT DAY, BE WARY OF TRAIN YARDS… AND OF POOR WRITING.

    Orlando, Florida
    Orlando Regional Medical Center


    Quieter this time. More solemn. Aside from the faint sound of crying, there is very little to stir the air.

    It was not in Death’s nature to either like or dislike the various jobs he carried out, but this kind was always a little harder. There was no pageantry or theatrics, no special rules or exceptions, nothing but the inevitable result of time marching on. These jobs were the most momentous and solemn, and also invariably the most difficult.

    Death stood respectfully by as the latest legend on his list contemplated his still form, lying in the hospital bed.

    “Weel, I thought I had a little mo’ spunk left in me, but I guess everybody gotta go sometime.”

    YES.

    “Least I got to go same day as the Duke, just some few years later. Weel I be seeing the Duke on t’other side?”

    PERHAPS. I EXPECT HE WILL LIKE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT HIM IF SO.

    “Weel, I had a damn good run eitha’ way, daddy.”

    They stood in silence for a few moments more.

    ARE YOU PREPARED TO DEPART?

    “Now hold on just a minute, the American Dream gots to ask you somethin’ first.”

    VERY WELL.

    “Now, you one of the four horsemen of the ‘Pocalypse, right?”

    YES…

    “And you know I always had a little bitty problem with Horsemen in my time, am I right?”

    NOT MY KIND OF HORSEMEN.

    “Oh I know, I know it daddy, don’t you fret, but let the American Dream tell ya a little secret, ya see, I always kinda wanted to be a Horseman just for a little while, just to see what it felt like.”

    I DON’T THINK I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT.

    “But you can, see, what better way to feel like a true, bonafide horseman that with your help daddy? Just let me try on the cape, maybe give the scythe a swing, and I’ll go happy knowing I got to be more of a horseman than any a’ those others.”

    THIS IS HIGHLY UNUSUAL, BUT I AM HAVING AN UNUSUAL DAY AND YOU ARE VERY PERSUASIVE. JUST FOR A MOMENT.

    Death clicked his bony fingers together again, and Dusty Rhodes found himself dressed in the macabre accoutrements of the Grim Reaper.

    “Ooooh boy, now this is fine daddy, this is just fine, I always knew I’d be a good horseman in the end!” Delighted, Dusty swished the scythe to and fro as he walked out into the hallway, Death clacking alongside.

    ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH YOUR EXPERIENCE?

    “Weel you see, I almost am, but there’s just one thing, and it’s just that rmblfrmbl…” Dusty trailed off incoherent.

    WHAT WAS THAT?

    Dusty mumbled again, and Death leaned closer to hear him. Since he did not have ears to hear anyway it’s not clear why he did so, perhaps he was trying to signal Dusty that he could not be heard, or maybe, just maybe, Death wanted to get in on a bit of wrestling shtick at the end of a long and strange day.

    ONE MORE TIME?

    “Bionic Elbow, daddy!!” Dusty shouted, and brought one robed elbow down on the top of Death’s skull. Death collapsed into a pile of bones as Dusty sped away down the hall.

    “One more time is right, Dusty Rhodes is going for one last joyride! Oooooh, look at me now daddy, Dusty is on the loose! Woo hoo!”

    SOLEMN… RIGHT. OF COURSE.

    As Dusty’s hoots and hollers faded in the distance, Death sighed and pulled his bones back together back to a standing position. He adjusted his neck bones and sighed again.

    WRESTLERS… THIS IS ALMOST AS BAD AS WHEN I HAD TO COLLECT PRATCHETT. NOW HE REALLY GAVE ME SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

    Death started once again clacking his way down the hall, slow but inevitable in his pursuit of not just the man who absconded with his robe, but every man and woman on the face of the earth. He did not come to bring fear or terror, but simply as a fact, a final outcome that could even be comforting in his way.

    At this moment Death thought about the antics of the American Dream, and displayed a wide, toothy grin on his face.

    Not that he had much choice in the matter, lacking the lips to make any other expression, but somehow it seemed this time he meant it just a little bit more.









    D is for Death
    written by Mizfan

  24. #24
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    Haunting, thoughtful and pretty much constructed by a very keen sense of imagination. The last part about Rhodes was very fitting and the way you write just flows off the page and form vivd pictures in my mind. The picture of a skull trying to grin without his lips was fittingly hilarious. Some parts flew over my head with the Lucha Underground references but overall it is a riot of a story. Well done Mizfan.

  25. #25
    Senior Member kingzak13's Avatar
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    Is it bad that as soon as I seen CHIKARA mentioned I figured this was Mizfan's entry.

    Even still this was a pretty good story, I loved Dusty's escape.
    Wrestlers vs. Zombies Part B is now up, click the link and check it out.

    http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...042#post110042

  26. #26
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    Even still??

    Wayne, let your son know I enjoyed his entry, that kind of random creativity is always appreciated in my book.

  27. #27
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    Our eyes met. Such a long time of preparing for this moment. Tense, we stood solitary in a world of motion- frozen in time as if we were out of the realm of its influence.



    And then it happened...



    That moment we expect. That feeling we both dread and subconsciously reach for all the same. The moment where a lifetime of speculation and curiosity meets an answer- a divine truth that could only be reached after every hardship and pleasurable moment before it; a solution to a seemingly endless equation. Good or bad we had come to it, and good or bad it would define our existence.



    We fought. Tooth and nail. Blood and sweat converged on the once blank canvas- a destiny defined through a fleeting moment built on countless others. Move for move we matched, our pace a blurred contrast to the world watching around us. A trade of moves and offense, blow for blow our once calculated plans laid to waste- as the moment swept us away into the uncharted. Planned attacks met with unexpected reactions; offenses countered and braced for. Learning through pain that nothing can be taken for granted or truly calculated in life, no matter how prepared.



    We bled. We fought. We died to live. Apathy lost its way once we found fear. Unspoken but bellowing in our eyes a truth vocalized- the greatest fear- irrelevance. It drove us as the pace quickened- a building crescendo came into view as we traded our most powerful offenses. A race against not time, nor death, but obscurity...



    We kicked out over and over, neither of us wanting to be the shooting star that fades into the deep, black nothingness of endless space...



    Enduring so much, getting up despite logic or reason we continued on. Our bodies agonizing reminders of our wills limitations. We had regressed- what was easy now became difficult, as we gasped for air like it would be our last. The pace came crashing to a near halt, and just then the world sped up around us...



    As the end drew near we could almost see and feel the world that came after us- a place where our actions cut the very fabric of life, but eventually dulled against the sharp edges of youth. A cut that would through time become a fading scar, a world giving way to another. But that glimpse didn't deter either of us.







    We had come so far...







    We had felt too much...





    So many others around us now gone. Frame by frame the crowd seemed to dwindle slowly, as we continued on in our quest. What few remained seemed to meet us with a slight disinterest- had we been at it for too long? No, not that. Never that.



    Light offense became overwhelming, as we could see the crowd around us vanishing. Slowly, it seemed, the world was disappearing around us while we planted our weary feet and traded shots. We watched out of the corners of our eyes as they died; sometimes before their time had come, and other times while truly living. They all tumbled into the abyss as the world around us grew quiet and dark. I used this moment to catch my opponent off guard...



    And now finally I was the last person standing. As I stood there battered but victorious, being pulled down by gravity more than ever, my initial relief gave way to a crippling solitude. My opponent now gone. They all faded out long ago. The ring and ground crumbled beneath my feet as I was left with just myself, as I curiously floated along.



    Drifting through the deep, dark space I contemplated what it all equated to. The pain and solitude making me question myself, and how I got there. The blood dried then all but vanished; the wounds turned to scars, and the aches waned. And as I slipped further into the unknown I had only my thoughts to keep me. Thoughts of all who came before, their legacies, and the price they paid for them. And my own...









    God my own...









    In all of it though a soft comfort coursed through me. A feeling- a wave of emotion- a piece of mind in the form of cheers and gracious chants by appreciative souls. The contented joy reverberated back through me so many years later- reminding me why my body had been broken.



    I watched others kill and be killed. Die and suffer so dearly for much the same. All just for that feeling. A brief escape from the reality of our choices. A broken vessel, but an echo drove our spirit on to this moment. And as I drifted from this body-






    As I drifted from that place...








    I could faintly hear the voices of those I was leaving behind alongside my pain. Those that would carry my name on as they continued their own journeys. Perhaps a lesson to pad their path ahead.



    I could no longer see or feel anything as I drifted deeper. All in a moment the fear had gone, and the pain had subsided. Sad as it was to leave it all behind a wave of tranquility came over me, quieting my uncertainty and doubt. Despite the muffled voices apparent weeping; despite their pleas and the sadness seemingly signaled from a constant buzz ringing out from machines in the halls of the living- I smiled peacefully as the sounds faded, and the light from that world extinguished altogether.








    I drifted deeper into the peaceful darkness.








    Further away from everything I had ever known.







    Yet I couldn't have been any happier.






    I was free.














    I had paid my price.









    And now I carried on through the memories I afforded them.





    I hadn't felt this good since before it all. When I was young and my body and spirit had yet to be broken. Before the journey truly began. I had found my way back there once again.


    Such a long hard road.







    This peace was why...












    It was worth it.









    E is for Eternity
    written by Kleckamania

  28. #28
    OK, I finally caught up on the first few entries, so here's some thoughts on each.

    A- I was kind of bummed that this wasn't a creative piece and all considering that's the basis for this series, but the piece was pretty interesting. I knew much of the story already, but it was well done. I would have liked it to have been completed though. A "tbd" in a series such as this is a strange choice, but hopefully we'll get to read the end of it.

    B- I have to agree with what the others stated, this very much read "John Cena" to me. I know it could have been any babyface, but much of the prose just screamed Cena. Nicely put together. Not groundbreaking, but a really easy, enjoyable read.

    C- I love seeing what little zzzorf brings to the table. I personally would play Call of Duty WWE in a heartbeat. It sounds like a hell of a fun game. I loved the line about Sheamus hiding in the dark; brilliant. It was fun man, that's all I can say, and it should definitely be an option for WWE 2K16. Wrestling fans everywhere would eat that shit up.

    D- mizzie.....oh mizzie you never fail to surprise me. Not personally I'm not familiar with Discworld at all, but you don't really need to be to enjoy this piece. You can make readers visualize things better than most and this piece did just that. I loved everything about this. My favorite piece so far!

    E- Hmmm, this one was a bit of a puzzler for me. I had a hard time connecting to it, and I think it's because I tend to struggle with these more stylized pieces. I wasn't really sure what you were going for here, so it wasn't my favorite of the pieces I've read. I'm also really not a fan of the artistic formatting choices that happened here. It takes away my flow when reading. Nicely written, just struggled with it.

    Enjoying this so far guys, looking forward to the rest!

  29. #29
    Senior Member kingzak13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mizfan View Post
    Even still??

    Wayne, let your son know I enjoyed his entry, that kind of random creativity is always appreciated in my book.
    I said it wrong, sorry. I meant something else that was just a transition away from that little fact. and apparently that is the first one I could think of. oops.

    As for todays entry, Kleck you have a knack for these sort of more macabre columns, but I would like to see some more light hearted stuff every now and then.
    Wrestlers vs. Zombies Part B is now up, click the link and check it out.

    http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...042#post110042

  30. #30
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    Al: I know this didn't fit the criteria of creative, but screw it, I thought it was awesome. I wasn't aware of ANY of this story, so the whole thing was new to me and I loved it!

    Lunchbox: I enjoyed this, it was definitely poetic, not my favorite entry thus far, but definitely a fun little read!

    Zzzorf/Ninja: This was a fun little entry, I'm not a big Call of Duty guy, but I know enough about it that I get what was going on. The wrestling references throughout really were fun and enjoyable. This was not something I'd imagine I'd like, but I really did.

    Miz: This has been my favorite entry so far. I thought it really took some fun twists and turns all while within the context of wrestling. Loved it.

    Kleck: I thought this was a nice change of pace for the series. It was deep, and dark, and I think it really added to what's been put out there so far. I know it's not everyone's cup of team but I liked it. I even like the text alignment features. When my eyes bounce from line to line, it almost makes me feel like my mind is wandering in the same way that the character's might. It can be overused, but I didn't feel like it was here. This was a very close second for me in terms of favorites thus far.

    To everyone, thank you for your entries, and recent columns even if I haven't commented I've read just about everything while in the hospital. My wife had our baby a month early, I've been in the hospital with her while she dealt with high blood pressure the last week and now each day is filled with caring for her post c-section, as well as visits to the baby in NICU, and work, so the bit of enjoyment I've gotten from reading each of your works has been a great bright spot.

    Our baby remains in NICU, but it seems a matter of when, not if, she's fine and ready to come home. Just been a very stressful and busy last 10 days with many more on the horizon. Thank you all.
    Read my latest. That's not a request.

    THAT'S AN ORDER, MAGGOT!!!!





  31. #31
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    Ray, glad to hear things are hopefully on the upswing!

    Klecko, this may not be for everyone but I really enjoyed the hell out of it. Personally I like messing with the structure and style, and you really capture me with the content as well. It felt very evocative of The Wrestler, the film that is, and just overall spoke powerfully to the nature of this crazy industry, which is both all consuming and yet somehow all fulfilling. Truly a paradox, but you capture the feeling very well. Where you been anyway? You off having a kid like everyone else around here?

  32. #32
    Senior Member JacobWrestledGod's Avatar
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    I have to admit that E was difficult for me. Sometimes, a direct approach works better.

    Congrats to Ray for babyRay, I really pray that the baby will get better each day, and both mum and child safe back home before you know it.
    And Jacob wrestled with God.



    I believe I can fly!
    I believe I can touch... your intestines and liver inside.


  33. #33
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    Congrats Ray and I'm glad your baby is doing ok.

    It seems to be hospital time in the forums at the moment. Anyone who has me on Facebook may know I have been in hospital the next town over with Zac for the last few days due to his Asthma playing up. We are told he will be going home today as long as he gets through the day ok.

    Since I'm here I might as well feed back mine and Zac's column. We were not the original writers for C but with the original writer no-showing it was up to me to write the column. Since I was swapping over with my wife to stay with Zac I decided that we would co-write it as a way to pass time. So with about 6 hours till my start posting time sitting in his hospital room we came up with what you read.

    All the writing is me however I have never played Call of Duty and that is where Zac came in. He was my reference on all things game related and he helped me formulate the ideas. Without him that column would have been shocking and I owe him a lot of credit for making it such a good read in the end.

    F2F

    JacobWrestledGod: a double read, wow it must be better than I thought. Hopefully you found all my little Easter eggs.

    Kingzak13: For your convenience I have started adding links to the first post. As to the 12 years olds swearing I should have got Zac to tell me what he and his mates say online since he is 13, maybe next time.

    Mizfan: what, he gets all the credit, I see you have litt faith in my creativity, lol.

    TripleR: yeah it does sound like a fun game doesn't it, I would definitely give it a crack. That shamus line was a good one, Zac cracked up when he saw I added it.

    Rayhagan1: Glad you enjoyed it, we had fun writing it. I tried to make it as simple as I could so that even none COD players could read it since basically I had no idea myself.

  34. #34
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    “You see,” began Connor with a long sigh, “it's like sleeping for a long, long time.”

    Connor Michalek was surrounded by his best friends as he sat in the middle of the ring. They knew Connor had a major announcement to make, so they came out of their cardboard locker room to listen to him speak. Connor looked at their faces, and they beamed with the child-like faith of intangible joy. He wished he was as glad as they were, as carefree as they were.

    But he wasn’t.

    The entire arena was empty, and Connor stared around at all the empty rows of seats. He felt weaker now, and he knew that he didn’t have much more time left with them.

    “But going to sleep means that someday you'll wake up.” Bryan said with a smile.

    “The champ will be here when you wake up!” John Cena exclaimed.

    “And we'll be here when you do,” CM Punk added, “I’ll make the best breakfast in the World for you.”

    Connor couldn’t help but smile. “I would very much like that. But you all have to understand that it will be a very, very long time.”

    “But sleeping for too long is bad for business. We will wake you up tomorrow morning, now that’s good for business,” Triple H chimed in enthusiastically.

    “Shut up, Hunter. Let the poor boy sleep.” CM Punk snarled.

    “No! No! No! But Connor,” Bryan interjected, jumping in horror beside Connor, “what are we going to do when you’re gone?”

    “Oh I won't be gone, Bryan. I’ll be right here.” Connor placed his finger over Bryan’s heart. Bryan laughed and stroked his beard.

    “He’ll be just fine,” muttered Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose in unison. “Believe in the Shield!”

    “None of you will be alone! You’re a family now, and while I’m gone you will all take care of each other.”

    “B-b-b-ut you will b-b-be back r-r-right, Connor?” stuttered AJ Lee with redness in her eyes.

    Connor let out a soft sigh and looked around at all of his friends. It was going to be difficult to help them to understand. They probably never would…

    “Sometimes good things come to an end. But here’s the secret everyone— come close!” They all huddled together in the wrestling ring to listen to Connor’s secret.

    “Memories. Are. Forever.” He whispered and tapped Bryan on the nose.

    “Memories?” Bryan said before enthusiastically continuing, “ Yes! Yes! Yes! Well I have plenty of those! Like that time when I tapped out to your Yes Lock at the hospital!”

    “Or when you punched me right here in the ring and pinned me! That’s bad for business but good for you,” cried Triple H.

    “Or at Wrestlemania! You stood on your seat because you couldn't see me, and when you finally did see me, you gave me a salute,” exclaimed John Cena.

    “Or, when your dad placed you on his shoulders as we beat the asses of Kane and New Age Outlaws.” Romans looked around at his fellow wrestlers. “Oh you didn’t know?” Romans added sullenly, “The match lasted 3 minutes...but the Shield will remember it.”

    “Or when you told me not to be crazy anymore...” said a teary eyed AJ Lee.

    “Yes, yes, yes! All of these are memories and we will have them forever.” said Bryan.

    Connor looked up and smiled, “just like how I will have my memories of all of you.”

    Connor stood up and took one last look over the arena. He noticed people strolling into the stadium, and the arena slowly stirred to life with the bustle and hustle of a WWE live event. He saw his Dad and mum waving at him from the ringside seats, and his friends from school cheering him on. He waved back at them with a forlorn smile on his face. “Connor the Crusher!” they chanted.


    It was time he went home.


    Connor gathered all of his friends together and began walking back up the entrance ramp to the backstage area. The entrance seemed so distant, so far away. His best friends were all busy discussing the memories they had with each other as they strode along the entrance ramp.

    “It is blessed to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard,” Connor whispered to himself softly, as he stole a quick glance around at his friends.

    “Connor?” Bryan said questioningly while looking down at Connor as they walked hand in hand. “You aren’t coming back, are you?”

    Connor looked down at the ground and took a moment before he responded, “no Bryan. I won't be coming back this time.”

    They walked in silence, listening to the sound of 10,000 fans chanting in unison, “Thank you, Connor!”

    Bryan suddenly stopped and looked intently at the ground, “I believe I'm going to miss you Connor,” he said with a soft, broken voice.

    Connor stopped and hugged his best friend tightly with teary eyes.

    “I will miss you too, Bryan. I will miss you very, very much.”



    --























    In memory of
    CONNOR "THE CRUSHER" MICHALEK
    2005 - 2014











    F is for Farewell
    written by JacobWrestledGod

  35. #35
    Darn you Jacob!!! I shouldn't be sitting here reading this with weepy eyes.

    Man, this was really nice...just really nice.

  36. #36
    It's time! JCool's Avatar
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    6 days in and this series is already hitting the heartstrings. We have "Death, Eternity and Farewell" as the last 3 topics and each of them handled the topic in a profound and meaningful way. What I've appreciated the most is how much of the writer is shining through in each column. Perhaps it's just because I've been around here for a few years now, but I could identify the writing voice of Miz, Kleck and JWG, immediately upon reading the first few paragraphs.

    Miz, I loved the humour of the TNA and Dusty Rhodes portions. After beginning with the grim scenes of Chikara and LU, you spun it around to some comic relief quite nicely. Thanks for that image of Dusty in the cape with the scythe!

    Kleck, I see you are channelling the Mystic again, ever on the edge of poetry and prose. Wolfpack represent!

    JWG, a touching tribute to the first winner of the Warrior award (even if he wasn't exactly a longtime WWE staff member, which was Warrior's original intent for the award).

    Fantastic work, gentlemen.

  37. #37
    The Underage Pessimist Subho's Avatar
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    zzzorf & Wacco Zacco -- This was good fun. From the choice of the player IDs, to the explanations of the way things played out.. really nice. Good effort from both of you!

    miz -- Haunting and fun at the same time! The Mickie part had me in splits. Haha! The Dusty part was so great.. I could really see him talking like that and then ride off into the sunset one final time.. Very fitting!

    Kleck -- Like miz, this reminded me of The Wrestler as well and while a little more perspective might have helped, I still enjoyed this one.

    Jake -- Darn you is right! Really well written and brought out the emotions for sure.


    Super stuff from everyone involved here! Really enjoying this one, again.

  38. #38
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    AHHHHHHHHH JWG I'm at work here, HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME FEEL ALL THE FEELS AT A TIME LIKE THIS???

    Seriously, beautiful but now I hurt. And that's a good thing, a wonderful thing, but still, dammit, people at work aren't supposed to see me cry!


    EDIT - Thought I'd add a little F2F in the meantime...

    JWG - I think I paraphrased that grinning joke from Terry Pratchett, but I appreciate the kind words! I had a lot of fun writing this one.

    Zakington - Just kidding earlier, I knew what you meant. Glad you enjoyed!

    Trips - I really wanted it to be accessible to people who hadn't read Discworld, so I'm really glad it landed. Very glad you liked it sir!

    Rayman - Applying wrestling to weird situations is my game! Glad you enjoyed.

  39. #39
    LPW pYromania Head Writer
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    Feedback for A is for Attendance Record

    Sub: Starting out, I had never heard of this event at all. I originally planned to just write about audiences, and what makes a bad one. The start was going to be that the biggest audience of all time, 190k people, was as quiet as mouse. But the story of how those 190k came together was too good to not continue writing about.

    Look for pt. 2 on Thursday.

    JWG: Can't wait to share more. Look for it Thursday.

    JCool: No spoilers. You'll have to keep reading to find out. But Bischoff is a prime candidate to be killed off. As I told others, look for pt. 2 Thursday.

    Miz: Insane is almost an understatement. Absurd, ludicrous, bonkers. But completely real. It had to be real, or else no one would ever believe it actually happened.

    rRr I was bummed it didn't fit with the series either. Just a complete slip/miscommunication. Just too much story to tell for one entry in a collection. I didn't want to monopolize time or readers. So I cut to short, telling the basis of how it all came together. More of the story later.

    Ray: A thousand Thank You's. Hope you keep reading.
    ---------

    Actual Feedback

    B: LB, the simplicity here really spoke to the internal monologue that must exist in the mind of a true babyface. Not even a strident babyface like Cena, but the disillusioned vanilla babyface that is good through all the bad. The type that isn't believable, and doesn't work, because nobody is that moral or true. This worked because you captured that, and walked the line between tribute in mockery. Which is a skill. Good work.

    C: Zzz - this was a callback to my teenage days playing CoD with friends. It hit that nail directly on the head. The music blaring through speakers, the absurdity spouted from the mouths of pre-pubescent children. Enjoyable.

    D: Not my style but there were parts that made me smile. Particularly the mention of Chikara. What I really liked is that, like LB's piece, it toed the line between tribute and mockery. Death is ever-present in wrestling, but almost never works as a factor in storylines. What made the Mickie James angle so awful was how lightly they presented her "final moments". You mirrored that hear, and spoke to how absurd an idea the whole thing was. Well done.

    E:Kleck, I really liked this, man. Your prose is gorgeous. Poetic, really. It was inaccessible, as people have kinda mentioned. But still a really well-written piece. Just could use a little more grounding.

    F: Using Connor is cheating. It just is. A little overly sentimental, but I feel like a monster saying that. This was different from your usual style, JWG, and it's always good to see someone challenging themselves. At times you could tell you were uncomfortable, from the writing, but still - a very well done inversion of the child/adult understanding of death.

  40. #40
    King of Stats zzzorf's Avatar
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    A RANDOM WEDNESDAY MORNING IN MEMPHIS, TN

    “It’s time to make our move my dear, Ha Ha! With those fools in the Just-Us League and Ring of Honorable Gentlemen fighting with each other, they’ll never see us coming.”

    “But Jeff, how are we going to do that? They’ve got tens of supporters behind them. We’ll never be able to make a dent in that.”

    “Karen honey, just trust good ole Double J. I’ve always got a plan. After our run-in with The Brow-less Wonder and Fat Boy last year I knew we’d have to get stronger. Too bad The No Sell-Syndicate decided to go back to the Just-Us League. They never stay down. Anyway, while you were off getting yourself all purty I got us the best heroes on the planet…..and The Young Bucks.”

    The doors of Double J’s secret headquarters (actually just the local Applebee’s) swung open, and in walked the Global Force Warriors!

    “Darlin’, let me introduce you to the guys that are going to put an end to the reign of terror that just occurs on Wednesdays. First off, we have our very own shape-shifter, Darewolf! He’s part man, part wolf, and part metrosexual. Go ahead; show Karen what you can do.”

    “I don’t really want to right now. Do you know how long it took for me to get my hair looking this good? Besides, you know it’s just a latex mask right? I mean I can’t really turn into a wolf.”

    “Of course you can. Now get over here and give Karen a manicure. Next we’ve got the muscle of the group, and I know how you love muscles baby. Meet ……The Adonis!”

    “So what do you do?”

    “Um…..I flex a lot. Watch me!”

    “Oh I’m watching you alright. But I think I need you to show me more.”

    “Uh….Miss Jarrett I think you spilled something on your seat. It appears a little damp. Oh, and you must have gotten some on Mr. Jarrett’s pants as well.”

    “No, no….that’s just sweat. OK, that will be enough Adonis. Let’s move onto something a little less…..flexy. Next up is a man who channels the spirit of the great beasts of the North. I present to you….The Moose! Karen, could you stop staring at The Adonis for a minute and pay attention.”

    “Mr. Jarrett, I’m not really sure what’s wrong over here. There must be a leak over here by the chair because it’s just flooding underneath Mrs. Jarrett still.”

    “Fine! We’ll move on. Next we have our problem-solver. Every team needs a good problem-solver right. You can’t have all muscles and no brains can you?”

    “Yes you can sweetie. Do we have more muscles, because I’d really like that?”

    “I’d kind of like that too Mr. Jarrett. “

    “PJ, shut up and keep working on my wife’s nails! Anyway, let me introduce the brains of our group, Jigsaw!”

    “Bored now! What is it that you do Mr. Saw?”

    “Well, I’m really good at puzzles. Like that’s my thing. I do puzzles. If the team ever gets stuck in a giant puzzle I’m your guy. Not mazes though. I can’t do mazes….or traps, contraptions, or shenanigans. I can’t really help you with any of those. And really, if the puzzles have too many pieces, because those things are way too hard.”

    “Jeff honey, please tell me there are more muscles.”

    “YOU WANT MUSCLES BABY; WELL THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY IS HERE. I’M A GENETIC FREAK AND I’M OFF MY LEASH. I’M READY TO BUST SOME HEADS AND BANG SOME BITCHES. WE’RE GOING AFTER HOGAN RIGHT? YOU SAID WE WERE GOING AFTER HOGAN.”

    “No Scott I did not say we were going after Hogan. We aren’t strong enough for that yet.”

    “WELL SCREW THAT SHIT. I’M OUTTA HERE.”

    “Well we HAD Scott Steiner. Anyway, lastly I recruited the toughest gang in New Japan, The Bullet Club- Doc Gallows and Machine Gun Anderson!”

    “Hey, you forgot about us; the best tag-team in all of wrestling THE YOUNG BUCKS!”

    “No, no I didn’t forget about you. I said you two could come if you kept quiet, stood in the corner and didn’t touch anything.”

    “You invited…..them?”

    “Yeah, but we’ll need some cannon fodder on the front lines when we attack. They’re expendable.”

    Just then, the headquarters (Applebee’s) door was blown off its hinges, and in stepped members of the Just-Us League and the Ring of Honorable Gentlemen.

    “You thought you could get the jump on us Double J? Well I, the Greatest Hero in the Universe, Kurt Angle have brought together two of the top 75 or so teams in the world to stop you in your tracks! Along with The Briscoe Brothers, we will defeat you before you have a chance to even get started.”

    Without speaking, the Briscoes begin the assault, throwing several live chickens at the Global Force Warriors. Angle swings his gold medal over his head, whipping it towards his foes. Double J, Doc Gallows and Machine Gun Anderson pull the Young Bucks in front of them for protection. Matt is pecked to death by chickens. Nick’s head is severed from his body by Angle’s gold medal attack. As the Global Force Warriors try to regroup, more foes try to enter through the rotating door of the Appleb…headquarters, however they get stuck because they crammed too many people in at once. Rockstar Spud’s head is shoved up the ass of Mr. Unbreakable. The No-Sell Syndicate, stuck outside, pick a fight with the wait staff on their smoke break. They walk into a cloud of smoke, fall through an open manhole cover, get swept by the sewer water out to sea, get swallowed by a whale, and somehow return to the battle unscathed. The Dirty Heels watch the madness (stupidity) in front of them, look at each other and decide to go across the street to the Olive Garden for Endless Pasta Bowls with unlimited salad and breadsticks.

    Back inside, Jigsaw defeated Tyrus by giving him a 100-piece puzzle of The Funkadactyls, but removed two of the pieces. He sat crying in the corner, as did any of us who have to see anything involving Naomi and Cameron. The Adonis flexed so hard, his muscles literally took on a life of their own and obliterated Colby Corino and Cheesburger. Darewolf was still trying to get his mask on, but he couldn’t get the Party City tag off of it, and you know how they can irritate your neck.

    As the battle continued, the leaders of the war squared off. Double JJ, summoning his guitars made of pure energy stood face to face with his nemesis The Greatest Hero in the Universe, Kurt Angle. No matter what happened anywhere else in the war that raged, it would be THIS battle that would decide who would reign supreme. Jarrett swung his guitar constructs at Angle, who blocked them with his medal of gold. Angle whipped his medal at Jarrett, who deflected it away with ease. It was a stalemate; neither man able to break the other down……until Jeff struck the final blow.

    “Ha Ha, you can’t beat Double J, because I know your Achilles Heel; your Kryptonite. This war is over Angle.”

    He motioned his wife towards him, who was now basically sitting in a small pool of….liquid that had puddled beneath her. He bent her over the booth and proceeded to do her right in front of her ex-husband. Angle’s blood began to boil as he watched Double J give Karen the old Memphis BBQ Rub. His face turned beet red, and that vein that sticks out on his bald head began to throb, growing larger and larger until it caused Angle’s head to pop clear off of his body, fly across the room and land in an order of boneless Buffalo wings.

    With Angle down, the battles began to die down. The members of the Just-Us League and the Ring of Honorable Gentlemen knew that their chosen leader had fallen. Some stopped out of defeat. Some stopped out of despair. Others stopped to just watch Double J finish his business with Karen, but one thing was certain, the war was over and the Global Force Warriors had……

    A loud roar was heard overhead. It was a sound not of this earth, not of this world. The combatants looked upwards, just as the roof of the building became engulfed in flames.

    “What the hell was that?” shouted Double J

    Through the hole left in the roof the teams of heroes looked at what appeared to be…..a dragon?

    With the speed of a bullet and the slipperiness of an eel, a man dressed entirely in black descended through the hole in the building.

    “Yes my friends, the war is over, but none of your are the victors. My name is Dario Cueto…….”









    G is for Gang Warfare
    written by TripleR

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