F2F will be coming around the mountain when she comes…
Sub Mariner – Except for just a touch of rookie hesitation in his ring work, Condron is an absolute treat in every way. As for the DDT, I get your concern but I love the way Condron snaps it down, I always think any move could be a finisher if it’s done right. Bring back the DDT as a deadly attack!
Rayman – Many a real life test has caught me with wording, so I share your pain sir! Enjoy your family engagement, and thank you as always for the very kind words.
And now, back to CHIKARA!!
Back to Skull
CHIKARA Event, 5/23/15, Part 3
Princess Kimberlee (Crown & Court) vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado (United Nations) – Challenge of the Immortals Match
Juan’s face is always worth a thousand words, the man is a face genius.
The Players: Pretty simple, Juan is your quintessential heel as the pompous, diminutive Ecuadoran aristocrat which a penchant for long speeches and talking down the “United Stations”, as he calls the United States. On the other side you’ve got Princess Kimberlee, a sweet and cheerful princess type character with the twist that she sports devastating offense and incredible toughness when pushed to the limit, especially if insulted or not taken seriously. Both are stellar performers in my book, and the added bonus here is that Princess Kimberlee’s COTI team “Crown & Court” is the last team in the tournament with no points at all. Most of their team’s matches have been lost due to the bumbling of some of her less competent teammates, but here Kimberlee has the chance to go it all by herself and prove that her team can at least get on the board. Juan, on his side, has been taking all the credit for any success his team has had, so now that the chips are down he will also be fighting extra hard not to come up short in front of his troops. Both will be fighting hard to get the win, so this should be quite good.
The Match: Juan has this way of peeking his flag out of the curtain before he actually appears that is just hilarious. Even with the short ramp he takes an age. He picks up a mic to cut a promo, complete with Spanish subtitles for his legions of fans in Ecuador. He talks about coming to the “United Stations”, and says they have a very filthy town here in “Vile-adelphia”. He says they are in great company solely because he decided to grace their presence, and runs down his opponent whom he calls “Kimber”. He proclaims Ecuadoran aristocracy is always better than United Stations royalty. Kimberlee asks a peasant to hold her crown, and she’s ready to take on Juan as the crowd is heavily behind her. Kimberlee taunts Juan by saying clearly the Princess is more popular than the aristocrat. Juan demands that she bow down to him (and the Spanish subtitles follow him into the match). Kimberlee says she doesn’t bow down to anyone, and that Juan should bow to her instead. The crowd agrees, and Juan seems to acquiesce… but instead he UPPERCUTS KIMBERLEE RIGHT IN THE THROAT!!!
This vicious underhanded shot sets us off and running, and gets Juan tremendous heat. He keeps the advantage momentarily, but after a short time Kimberlee bounces back and hits a nice looking satellite headscissors! She forces Juan to the corner and CHOPS the living crud out of him! And again! Juan is writhing in pain! Poor Juan, he always seems to get chopped so hard. As if to illustrate my point, Kimberlee hits him with KOBASHI CHOPS!!! Juan tries to turn the tides but Kimberlee puts on a Tarantula-esque submission in the ropes, then boots Juan hard in the head after letting it go. Juan is on the run, and he pushes the referee into Kimberlee to knock her off the apron to the floor. Juan sucker punches her on the floor to cement his advantage, and he tries to start a chant for himself only to meet with more boos.
Juan takes Kimberlee back into the ring and drives some knees into Kimberlee’s back, but only gets a 1 count out of it. He chucks her front first against the ropes, and starts driving hard forearms into her back as she bounces back, then blasts her with a hard lariat, but still it’s only a 2 count. Juan seems to be trying to save face by finishing the match quickly, but Kimberlee will certainly not go down without a fight. Juan hits her with a powerslam, but again can’t put her away. Juan hits some nice looking shoulder thrusts into her back, and he’s really trying to pulverize that lower back section as he hits a great looking back suplex for a 2 count. He tries to keep Kimberlee down but she manages a jawbreaker, but Juan is only stunned a moment and he manages to nail a GREAT looking Tiger Driver on Kimberlee. But it’s still only two! Kimberlee is fighting through the pain. Juan tries to bounce off the ropes but Kimberlee follows him in and knocks him to the floor, then tries to recover herself before he gets back in.
Juan heads back in and tries to charge Kim in the corner, but he meets with some hard kicks, and then Kimberlee busts out of the corner with a great spinning boot to the face! Juan kicks out at two and Kim is trying to keep her momentum rolling. They fight back and forth for a German Suplex, but then Kimberlee switches it around and hits a NICE delayed vertical suplex! The crowd is way, way behind Kimberlee but Juan still kicks out at two. Kimberlee takes too long to follow up, and Juan is able to blast her with another great looking Tiger Driver. Kim just barely kicks out and Juan is looking frustrated. He tries to pick Kim up but she escapes, and she tries to hit a piledriver but her back is too damaged. Juan looks for a third Tiger Driver but Kim escapes that too, and she catches Juan in a tight pinning combination to get the sudden victory!! Jerivs comes out to congratulate Kimberlee as Juan looks furious. Kimberlee talks to a fan dressed as princess in the crowd briefly then has Jervis carry her to the back. Juan is just sitting in the ring looking horrified, and it’s absolutely beautiful.
The Winner: Princess Kimberlee in 10:45
The Verdict: This pretty much lived up to my expectations of being great, Juan with a genius heel tactic at the start taking advantage of Kimberlee’s good heart and naiveté and really just pasting her one set the tone of the match fantastically. They did a great job building the suspense of Juan getting the slightly underhanded win but still making him look strong with a lot of strong offense and smart tactic, but then letting Kimberlee’s natural toughness and ingenuity shine through as she weathered the worst of the offense and then eschewed a big power move in favor of a smart pinning combo. Juan’s post match reaction was absolutely priceless, the man is seriously gifted in terms of heelish facial expressions. A top 10 CHIKARA singles match of the year so far, and with more time and build I bet they could have topped it with ease. I’m also salivating at the idea of a Princess Kimberlee/Hallowicked title match sometime down the line, make it happen CHIKARA!
Awesomeness Rating: ****
Dasher is backstage is honored to be in the very first main event in this venue, but he is well aware of the (Mc)massive hurdle in front of him. He lists the impressive feats that his opponent has accomplished, but he reminds us that he is only 1 point away from a Grand Championship match. He criticizes Blaster for taking shortcuts in his matches and makes fun of his (relatively) skinny legs. He says he will teach McMassive to earn his stripes the right way.
Blaster McMassive vs. Dasher Hatfield
His hiding ability is DEVASTATING!!!
The Players: Blaster McMassive is part of the highly decorated Devastation Corporation, and is both part of the 2014 winning King of Trios team and current one half holder of the Campeonatos de Parejas (tag titles). He is also my favorite member of the whole stable, and one of the most impressive big men on the indy scene for my money. The guy has fantastic agility and flying ability for his size, but can also pull out some great heelish tactics at the drop of the hat. Speaking of hats, Dasher Hatfield is on the other side, sporting his baseball gimmick and his wholesome 1950s morality. Dasher’s team, the Throwbacks, and the Devastation Corporation have been embroiled in a simmering feud stretching all the way back to September of last year. Dev Corp has mostly had the upper hand, but it will be mano-a-mano here so anything could happen. Also of interest is Dasher Hatfield being only 1 point away from the previously mentioned title shot. Dasher has really become something of an in ring ace in the last couple years, so I would love to see him get a shot at Hallowicked. Let’s see what happens!
The Match: McMassive is out first and he makes the ring announcer say a bunch of impressive things about him. Dasher is out next, and the crowd is way behind him. He does a cheer with the crowd, and they are good to go!
Blaster says he wants to shake hands at the start, but Dasher polls the crowd and they think it’s a trick. Dasher shakes the hand anyway but when Blaster tries a sucker punch, he dodges and hits him with an atomic drop. They do a bit of technical back and forth to get going, which is well executed but a bit basic for my taste. The match quickly picks up as Dasher starts in with some beautiful Steamboat-esque arm drags. Blaster tries to block a big one, but Dasher changes his game and kicks Blaster into the corner before giving him a baseball slide. Dasher sends Blaster to the outside with a wheelbarrow armdrag, and Blaster steals the chair of an audience member to catch his breath. Dasher will have none of that though, and he dives right out of the ring and knocks Blaster over!
Dasher chases Blaster around ringside for a bit, and Blaster pulls an audience member in front of him to block Dasher’s attack. Blaster uses the distraction to sucker punch Dasher, then says to the fan “teamwork, brother!”, but then shoves him down!! Blaster kicks away at Dasher while the staff checks on the fans. Blaster mocks the fans for their concern, the shuts down a Dasher comeback with a hard stomp to the chest. Blaster grounds him for a while until Dasher starts chopping back, but when Dasher goes up to the top Blaster intercepts him and hurls him across the ring. Dasher tries another comeback and eats a BIG big boot to go back down, but when he tries to follow up with a powerbomb Dasher escapes and starts fighting back. Blaster AGAIN boots Dasher, but this time Dasher is quicker to recover and he hits a big clothesline to take Blaster off his feet.
Dasher starts knocking Blaster around a little, then hits a slightly awkward looking side slam for a two count. Blaster gets back into it and they slug it out until Blaster hits a short arm clothesline that he apparently calls LARIAT TUBMAN, which is officially the greatest thing I’ve heard today. Blaster takes too long to follow up, and Dasher catches the big Blaster with a truly impressive Jackhammer!! Blaster has had enough and he tries to retreat into the trainer’s office, but Dasher drags him back to the ring. Dasher then holds Blaster at ringside, and the fan who got pushed down comes over and gets a shot in on Blaster!! Teamwork, brother!! Blaster is irate with the ref, who claims he didn’t see anything. That’s what cheating will get you, Blaster! Blaster crawls back into the ring and Dasher goes up top, and when Blaster tries to throw him down again Dasher rolls through. Dasher comes right back running, but Blaster catches him with a HUGE Black Hole Slam! Blaster goes for the pin, but Dasher rolls his shoulders over into a crucifix pin! And it’s good, Dasher beats Blaster!!
The Winner: Dasher Hatfield in 15:52, now eligible to challenge for the CHIKARA Grand Championship
The Verdict: This was good, but I was actually expecting it to be a little better. The Dasher comeback/Blaster shut down cycle got a bit repetitive, and they seemed to waste a little more time than necessary at the start of the match. Aside from that, the fan interaction was fun and whenever they were rolling the action looked great. I also appreciated the ending, Dasher being unable to overpower Blaster so instead of catching him in a surprise pin and walking away with a title shot in his pocket. Dasher may be a face but he’s not stupid! A very refreshing concept at times. The idea of the end was a little similar to the end of the Juan/Kimberlee match, but the execution felt different, less than Dasher was desperate and more than his veteran instinct won the day. Good match, though I feel these two could have a better one in the future with a bit more focus.
Awesomeness Rating: ***¾
Well that concludes Back to Skull, ladies and gents! We will return tomorrow with a MUCH bigger show, the anniversary show entitled “Aniversario: A New Attitude”, featuring a Grand Championship match and much more! But before we go, let’s quickly check the COTI standings and see where we’re at:
Nightmare Warriors – 4
Wrecking Crew – 4
Dasher’s Dugout – 3
Arcane Horde – 2
Battle Hive – 2
Bruderschaft des Kruezes – 2
Gentleman’s Club – 2
United Nations – 2
Crown & Court – 1
Snake Pit – 1
Everybody on the board now! Still heel dominated but not excessively so. Lots of interesting stuff to come!
And speaking interesting stuff, I know you’re all waiting for a few ANSWERS!!
Little was revealed about the former Volgar’s new character at Back to Skull, but Condron did let slip that he was once known by the nickname “Juke Joint”. What does this mean? Join us tomorrow to find out, mizfan fans!
Preview! Seen here… well, this isn’t a great preview, but seriously just come back tomorrow, it’ll all be clear(ish).
Our two front runners both took a stab here, which I’m always happy to see, and just to make it more interesting our man Ray got the point! The gap closes a bit and the contest is still hot!
Subho – 14 Points
Rayhagan1 – 12 Points
Kingzak13 – 5 Points
MI_Fan – 3 Points
Mr Chop – 1 Point
Zzzorf – 1 Point
And last but certainly not least, a little QUESTIONnaire for ya before we send it home!
Stump the CF!
The Throwbacks are made up of Dasher Hatfield & Mr Touchdown, two characters bound by their love of sports as well as an obscure relation. How exactly are they related?
A. Step Cousins in Law
B. Time Traveling Great Uncle & Nephew
C. Half Brothers Twice Removed
Until tomorrow, mizfan fans!